Last time that we discussed hurt, we took a look at the person who is hurt. We looked at what needs to be done in order to move forward from a place of being hurt. We discussed boundaries and the need for wise Counsel, as you are moving from the place of being hurt and offended to being free and forgiving.
Today, I want to take a look and the other side of that hurt coin. The one who hurts.
Now, if you have experienced being hurt and have not, whether you tried to or not, dealt with it in the proper manner, the pain of the hurt was able to seep into our heart. If this happened you allowed bitterness and anger to become wedged within the chambers of your heart. If this is true, you may have found that your actions, words, and even your thoughts have begun to change.
The truth is that we are all, in many ways, a product of our environment. The things, situations, and people that interact with us on a daily basis or even on an occurrence, have an opportunity to plant seed in to our hearts that can quickly take root. I believe that this is why God tells us in His word to guard our hearts with all diligence, (Proverbs 4:23) for out of it flows the issues of life. He didn’t say that out of it will flow all of the great dreams of our lives. No, He said that our issues would come out of our hearts.
Not only will our issues come our of our hearts, but if there is goodness within us that will come out. Yet, if there is evil within us, that will come out too. When we are dealing with or have buried pain from hurtful situations, issues… they will also come out of our mouths.
For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)
If you take a moment to think about it, it is not only our actions that hurt people, but it is often our words, as well. We speak damaging words to other people, without even realizing that what we have said has the capacity to destroy them, in many ways. If we were to view things from God’s eyes, we would see that our tongues are swords, cutting others on the way in and on the way out. Leave it to a heart that is hurting and the target will not only be broken, but demolished. If you can recognize yourself in these words, I want to tell you that you are not alone. It is just a sign that you are hurt.
Well, you’ve heard this before, but it’s really true. Hurt people, hurt people.
They do it unknowingly, most of the time. It starts with the pain that is within them and needs to be let go of, but because of unforgiveness, the hurt turns in to a weapon. In many ways, the hurt person is simply trying to protect herself from other forms of hurt, without realizing that the chosen weapon of protection is not a shield, but a sword. This is when problems arise.
If you have found yourself in this place, let me tell you that you don’t have to stay here. Perhaps you have been hurting people, unawares. Maybe you aren’t even to the place of hurting people yet. You are just thinking thoughts, that if they came out of your mouth or would be acted upon, would hurt someone. If this is you, please, please keep reading.
The first thing to do is to declare that you will be honest with yourself and with God, no matter what you find out about yourself.
The second thing to do is to ask for forgiveness. You are asking forgiveness for hurting others. Next, forgive. Forgive yourself and the person/people that hurt you. You may have to go back to the situation and think about what happened. You may have to journal it and hash it out, but you need to get to the root of your problem, so that forgiveness can happen. Finally, you have to commit to renewing your mind and being a doer of the word.
God wants to bring about a change in your life, but He will not force His goodness upon your life, if you are not interested in having it. When you are a person that hurts others, you know that it comes from your past. It comes from your own brokenness. It comes from fear. It comes from desiring control. You have to be willing to let these things go in order to be set free.
If you are reading this, and don’t quite understand this position, God bless you. However, I honestly believe that we have all been in a place like this, at one point in out lives or another. Maybe you could not recognize it, when in it. Maybe you did. We are all different, but I truly believe that we are all similar in this. None of us, really want to remain in this place.
So, what’s next?
Well, I suggest that you pray.
- Pray for the person that hurt you and pray for yourself.(Luke 6:28)
- Trust God to fight your battles.(Romans 12:19)
- Renew your mind daily. (Romans 12:2)
- Practice what you read and don’t just read it.(James 1:22)
If you do this things, you will move from the place that you are in now, to the place where you desire to be, free from the pain and free to love.