Being Mrs. Mom™

Woman, Wife, Mother

Main navigation

You are here: Home / Archives for Growth

Growth

Why you need to understand that no one has really made it

By Leave a Comment

Have you ever looked up to someone that inspired you?

If you are like the rest of us, then the answer is yes.  You have been working hard, your whole entire life, aiming to emulate someone and at different seasons, for different reasons, and this person changes to a different character, frequently.  What I mean by this is that depending on what you’re working on, or what the subject matter is, your inspiration can change.

I want to tell you something though.  The person that you are looking to has someone that they look up to as well.  They do the same thing that you are doing, search for inspiration.  They struggle just like you struggle.  They work hard, trying to figure out their next step too.

What you may not even realize is that in some situations, the very person that you are looking to for inspiration, is looking back at you.  We live in a big world that has been brought down to size by social media, travel, and technology.  You could be following someone on social media and they could be reading what your posting as well.  There’s a good reason for this.

The truth is that no one has made it yet.

We all may feel like we have achieved something that we were aiming for, but we are not finished with the work that we are supposed to be doing on this earth.  If we were, we would no longer need to be here.  We each have a purpose to fulfill and we glean from one another the ways by which we can do this, but there is something that we do as humans, especially as women, that needs to stop.

We tend to think that we are at the bottom of the todempole and that we can’t help anyone.  Well, I want to tell you something.  That’s a lie.

The truth is that we each have been given a specific sphere of influence.  You may not realize this, but you’ve been influencing people the whole time that you’ve been on this planet, even if you didn’t mean to do it.

I am honored to say that I’ve had people that I know and look up to come to me for advice.  I’ve had business inspirations come to me for inspiration.  What I have learned from this is that we are all doing our best.  Even the person that has a million dollars is still looking for someone to inspire them as a parent.  The person with the degree is looking for an inspiration in being creative.  The woman with the business is trying to stay innovative and productive.  She’s looking for someone to encourage her to stop procrastinating.

Why are you telling me this?

We’ll I’m glad that you asked.  The answer is simple, but very important for you to know.  I’m telling you this because I want you to stop living below your calling.  I want you to stop hiding in the dark, running away, and holding back.  I want you to realize that it is important for you to be yourself because there is no one else like you on this earth.  Sure, we all have some similarities, but none of us are just a like; That’s because of our God given purposes.

More that I want you to know these things, God wants you to know them.  

You have to stop trying to be someone else.  The world needs you to be you.

Do you have a spiritual wound that won’t seem to go away? 

By 2 Comments

As a mom of four, I’ve seen quite a few booboos.  We have to keep a box of band aids in the house because my children are always getting injured in one way or another. They come to me when they get hurt, feeling like the world is over and, nine times out of ten, I’m able to tell them that it’s ok. They don’t always believe me initially, but I just tell them again that they got hurt and it’s going to be alright. 

My thought process

When I think about this as a parent, especially a parent of four, I know that this is just apart of growing. When learning a new skill, like riding a bike, in order to get better at it, children fall. They scrape their knees and end up needing hugs, band-aids, and pep talks in order to calm their nerves, ease their pain and try again.  

Little lessons like these, combined with my own growing pains have caused me to realize that we are no different. We grow and as we learn new skills, mature in life, and learn to be better, we get a few booboos along the way. 

Be here’s the thing, some wounds are deeper than others. Some require more care than others and more bandages to protect from infection. 

Small reminders

Not only do I have to remind my children not to pick at their wounds, I have to make sure to keep the wound clean and covered. On top of this necessary and obvious care needed for my children’s wounds, I have to remind them that no matter where we are in the process, the wound is healing. It has to, that’s how we were made. With the proper care and time, that scrape will get better because it wasn’t a fatal injury. 

See the way that God built our bodies was to give us protective layers and barriers that make sure our inner parts, the more necessary ones, are not harmed. These are the parts that keep us alive, breathing, eating, and moving. When we are hurt by falling and scuffing up our knees, our skin begins to heal, but our minds remember the event and learns from it. We begin to process that being off-balance on a bike leads to falling. Touching a hot stove leads to being burned. Touching an aggressive dog leads to being bitten or snapped at. These lessons prepare us for bigger tasks and allow us to remember that although there are great things we want to experience, we should use our skills, use wisdom, and proceed with caution. 

That’s what happens with the little scrapes and bumps that our children get. It’s also what happens when we are growing in life and growing spiritually. 

The Timing of the Wound

We have all encountered situations that have caused us pain. Something has happened to us or we had an experience that opened a wound. Normally, these wounds, no matter their situation, came at some pivotal point in our lives. They came when we were at a certain season of life and began to progress through that season. 

It could have been a spiritual, emotional, relational, or physical experience. No matter what it was, these experience have an effect on us spiritually, whether we know it or not. 

Prayer for healing in the process

Now, I know that you knew we were going to discuss something that would make you a bit less comfortable than normal and we are, but first, let’s pray. 

Father, we love you. We come to you humbly Lord, first and foremost asking you to forgive us for sins that we have committed, both knowingly and unknowingly. Give us peace, Lord. We desire wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. We ask you to provide what we need to explore this topic without fear, because You’re perfect love casts out all fear. Help us to grow and see that the wounds are not the end, but instead a part of the process. Open our hearts and give us what we need to live this life to the fullest.  Help us to heal from both spiritual and emotional wounds that we have experienced.  Cause our broken hearts to be reminded that you do not despise us, but instead you love us.  Wrap us in your arms of love and bring healing to our wounded souls in the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen. 

The process of healing

When you think about your wound, I want to ask yourself a few questions. When the wound was first opened, did you take the time to assess the damage? I ask this because it is very important. Remember when I was talking about my children, I mentioned scrapes and bruises that were not fatal. 

Did you clean the wound and cover it with the proper dressing or band-aid? Did you make sure to go back occasionally, clean it up, and redress the bandage? 

If you are honest, in most cases, the answer is no. We get hurt and we normally do one or two things immediately. We cry, cover it up, and either never go back on the spiritual bike again out of fear, or we try to push past the obstacle to master the challenge. There’s a problem with this though. 

Wounds that are not well cared for can get infected, seep deeper into our bodies, and never completely heal.  Remember, the way that we are built. There is a mechanism to overcome built within us by God. Whether we want to or not, we are always in the process of healing. The problem comes in when we don’t properly care for the wound. It can leave a residue, develop puss, and a stench. It can become more that a growing pain because of a lack of care. 

Do you have wounds that just won’t seem to heal?

At this point, I am going to assume that the answer is yes. 

I want to help you heal, but first there are a few things that we have to do. 

We have to clean the wound up, by taking and thinking about what happened. That’s how you begin to assess the situation, determine the type of damage that could have been done, and decide how to treat the wound. 

Second we have to find the proper tools to assist you in the healing process. We have to gather all of the tools that are needed for the type of wound that you have. There are big bandages and small ones. They all work, but we have to find the one that you need. 

Third, we have to properly dress the wound and you can’t pick at it.  If you do, it could open back up. 

I want to remind you that all wounds have the potential to leave a scar, but that’s a different post. Just don’t be alarmed if you end up with a scar from this wound. It’s not always a bad thing. I actually think it’s a good reminder that you’re healed and have made it out of a painful situation that wasn’t tough enough to kill you. 

What’s next?

For now, here’s what I want you to do. Take a moment to think and journal about this wound that you have.  Ponder some to the things below

What is a natural wound that you have? Perhaps you fell and scraped your knee as a kid. Write about what happened. Give the details of the incident. Do you remember how it happened? Do you remember how it was cared for? If so, describe it. What lesson did you learn from this or where were you in the learning process? Finally realize that the wound did heal because you are still alive and breathing. 

Now for the spiritual wound. 

  1. What happened? You have to take sometime to really think and journal about this. You can’t avoid this process. It’s apart of accessing the damage that was done to you. 
  2. Write about the immediate care that was given to the treatment of the wound. What did you do after it happened to take care of yourself? Did someone else attempt to help you care for it? What type if pain did you experience? What type of discomfort are you still experiencing from the wound? 
  3. Did the wound get infected? Why isn’t it healing? Did that experience cause something else to happen in you? Did you develop bitterness, jealousy, anger, or something else? Be honest with yourself about this. It doesn’t do you any good to cover it up, if it isn’t cleaned up. 
  4. How bad do you want this wound to heal? Talk about what it did to you in the past and what it would mean for you to be healed. What type of fear have you experienced? What has it kept you from doing? Has it tormented you or kept you in bondage? What type of freedom would you experience, if this wound were to finally heal? 

Think journal and pray about this. Then comeback. I want to take you though the next step in this process, but this is the first step and one of the hardest, thinking about it. 

Share this post

Please take a moment to share this post with someone who may find it helpful. Repost it to your Facebook or Twitter. Many of our friends are hurting too and need assistance healing from wounds. Let’s not do this alone, we all need each other. 

Leave me a comment sharing your thoughts with me or send me a message telling me how this post impacted you. Would you like to see more topics like these? 

Also, if you found this post helpful, consider purchasing my book. In it, I discuss some of the things I’ve been though and how I’ve healed from them. It wasn’t easy to write, but I did it for you, so consider purchasing it.  It’s available on kindle and in paperback. 

I’m also in the process of writing my new book. Tell me what you would like to or need to read about. What types of topics would you like to see me discuss and find most helpful?  

Be encouraged and make sure to do the work. You’ll be surprised at the results the you get. 

When you’re finally ready to do it…

By Leave a Comment

Have you ever had a time in your life where you keep on waiting on someone to do something. You didn’t want to overstep any boundaries or make anyone feel bad, so you just kept on waiting? Then when you were finally tired of waiting and decided to do the thing yourself, they did it.

 

That is what happened to me this morning. I had been waiting for the gardeners to come and take care of the yard. I had been doing it myself, but we went on vacation for 3 weeks and I thought they would take care of the yard. Once we returned from our trip, I found weeds galore. My bushes were unkept and my yard looked horrible.

This disappointed me because the gardeners are paid to keep up the yard. I planted beautiful flowers before in the yard, but I guess I had expected them to do their job especially since I was gone.

I had been waiting and waiting, mostly because I didn’t have the time to do it and also because I didn’t want to do their job for them. Then yesterday, I decided that today, I would go to the store and get the flowers that I really wanted. I would take the time today to plant the flowers and do my yard.

To my surprise, this morning, at 8am, the gardeners were outside doing everyone’s yard.

Can you say frustrated?  That’s how I felt…

I decided that I would let them do their job and just continue on with whatever they left me with. That thought was a good one, until I heard the chopping.

I went to my window and saw them ripping out my beautiful pink flowers. I could feel them ripping them away in my heart…that’s when I couldn’t take it anymore. I opened the door and asked if they were really about to rip out all of my beautiful flowers. The gentleman told me no. He said that they were just trying to get ready for the fall. I didn’t like the idea of them gutting my yard, but I decided to let them do it anyway.

There are a few reasons why I want to share this with you.  I learned a few things and I’m hoping that you will find the lessons helpful.

Reason #1: Perspective

The first reason is that sometimes people are waiting on us to do things. They wait and wait, patiently, frustrated, and trying not to overstep our boundaries. Then when we are finally ready to do the job, they have planned to do it. We show up ready to work, it is almost too late.

If this is a situation that you find yourself in, look at the situation from this perspective.  Try to communicate. The other person cannot read your mind.

Reason #2: Make a Decision

I am sure that the gardeners were busy with their other jobs. They probably had already set the date on their calendars to go out to the homes and prepare each garden for the fall. It just so happened that I took too long to do what I was going to do. I didn’t know what they had planned and they didn’t know that I was also waiting and planning.

We have to either let someone do the job that they are supposed to do or hurry up and do it ourselves. Both situations are not going to work together…at the same time. Only one person can do the job… Only one plan can work.

If you find yourself in this situation, decide what you are going to do and stick with it.

Reason #3: Trust God

This reason is the one that stood out to me the most. There are times when God is doing something that I do not understand. I’m not sure what is happening because He has not revealed all of His plans to me. Yet, I know that His plans are to prosper me. (Jeremiah 29:11)

All I see is weeds growing, things not being done, and my impatience driving me up the wall. Yet, I do not realize that God has it on His calendar to do something in my life, His way. I could try to hurry up and do it, but I might mess it all up.

Waiting on Him is not easy, but this is His job, to work in my life; to take care of me, as my Heavenly Father. He does what only He can do. If I wait on Him, He will take care of everything and have my garden looking beautiful and ready for the Fall…yet it won’t be a pretty sight while He is ripping up all of my weeds and trimming all of my bushes. He might have to gut a few of my beautiful pink flowers because they are not needed or can’t survive the next season. I just have to trust Him and move out of the way so that He can do what He is going to do.

If you find yourself in this situation or can identify with my sentiment, simply, trust God.

Think about it..

When I first started this post, I asked you if you had a time when you were waiting on someone to do something, but you really were planning on doing it yourself. Hopefully you have now thought about each perspectives and not just your own.

Can you see the godly perspective?

That is the perspective that is most important. Waiting on God is wisdom. Moving out of the way so that He can do what He desires it’s the best thing to do. His plans for us are the best plans that anyone could ever have for us, including our own plans.

As I waited inside of my house, with the blinds closed, I wanted so badly to have my hand in my garden. Yet, I restrained myself, because I thought it was best. If you find yourself in a similar situation, be encouraged because you are not alone.

I hope you found encouragement in this post.  Share your thoughts with me in the comment section.

Thanks for reading…

Taking Steps To Grow Spiritually & Intentionally

By Leave a Comment

Taking Steps To Grow

Today, I read an article by Rick Warren. He talked about spiritual growth. As I read it, I felt encouraged to grow more spiritually, but I realized that although he talked about growing spiritually, he didn’t mention how this would happen, specifically.

Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. – Philippians 2:12-13

This was one of the key scriptures that he mentioned.  I’ve thought of this scripture often times when I think about growing.

“This verse shows the two parts of spiritual growth: “work out” and “work in.” The “work out” is your responsibility, and the “work in” is God’s role. Spiritual growth is a collaborative effort between you and the Holy Spirit. God’s Spirit works with us, not just in us.” -Rick Warren

There is a part of the growing that is God’s job. He works in us and grows us the way that he desires for us to grow, but there is another type of growing that is our part. It is rarely discussed, or at least that I’ve seen. Sometimes, we look for practical help…

We have a job to do in the growing. From my experience, it, partially,  has to do with a change of mind and a change of actions.

We have to begin to look at our thought patterns and ask ourselves, do these thought patterns line up with what I believe, with the word of God, and with the life of Christ. When we find a point where they don’t, we must be very active in changing them. From there we have to be proactive about producing positive thoughts that line up with who we are spiritually.

We have to tell ourselves things like, “I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.”(Philippians 4:13  )  We have to “cast down every vain imagination that would rise up against the knowledge of God”(2 Corinthians 10:5) in our lives, to include who He is and what He has enabled us to do.  In changing these thought processes, we have to say these things out loud so that we can hear it.  Those words will stop us in our tracks and help us to begin to make changes.

Then we must begin to line our actions up with the word of God, what we believe, and the life of Christ. We have to begin to observe our actions and ask, do my actions line up with who I am spiritually. If not, we must take the steps necessary to change them.

Let me tell you what some of this looks like, from my perspective…

I remember a specific point in my life where things were really hard. My relationships were in trouble, I could not get where it seemed that I needed to be in my career… and spiritually…I was drowning. I had decided that I was going to do all that I could to grow in every possible way. So I built myself a spiritual emergency kit.

Now in the natural, there are certain things that I keep with me all the time, especially when I leave home…my phone, my keys, and my wallet or purse.

Because I was trying to grow, I found that there were certain things that would help me spiritually and I could depend on them all of the time, so I kept them with me… my bible,my prayer journal, and my promise bible.

I could be found at any given time with these in my possession. If we went out to dinner and I got a little frustrated, which I did very often at this time in my life, I would pull out my promise bible and read the promises that pertained to stress.

I would have these items with me as I watched tv, visited friends, and went to the grocery store. I remember being asked why I brought my bible with me everywhere. What the person asking did not know was that I was on a mission and my biblical survival kit was my life line. If I felt that I couldn’t hear from God in a specific moment because of my emotions, I could see the words on the paper.

Over time, this action changed my thought process and my thought process changed me. I relied on God more than I ever had in my life and through viewing His word all day, especially when emotionally weak, He changed me.

My action was…surrender

Do you see an example of what it looks like? Now I have to admit that at every point in my spiritual growth, it looks differently. I no longer need to read my bible at dinner because I’m different. Now the word of God arises within me and I make choices based upon what I know to be right in God’s sight, but I still need His word. It is life changing.

The practical steps that we take in our lives to grow must be intentional, purposeful, and continual.

What steps are you taking to grow spiritually? Have you changed the things that you do over time because you find that some work better than others or are you stuck and need ideas?

I would love to hear from you.

Taking The Steps To Grow…Spiritually

By Leave a Comment

Taking Steps To Grow

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

~1 Corinthians 13:11

There is a normal cycle in our human existence.  We all go through a span of life development.

We are born into this life as a helpless baby.  We mature into a child, adolescent, and adult.  Even our adulthood is filled with a maturing process.  We go from being young adults to middle adulthood.  Finally we become an elder.  While this process is a natural one, there is also a spiritual process of development that we all must go through.  Yet there is a slight difference in the two.

The natural process of development takes place without our participation.  Every year we grow older, age, and change.  Life’s situations and circumstances cause us to develop, even in our minds.  Our brains change, developing the essential qualities needed to live a healthy life. Yet, the spiritual process is not the same.

As an adult that is a newly saved Christian, we are a new creature in Christ.  This means that we are born again and a babe in Christ.  After spending time in relationship with God through His word, we begin to mature.  However, this process of maturing requires more than what is required in our natural lives.

What I mean is that as a Christian ages, this is not equivalent to their level of spiritual maturity.  However God calls us to a place in Him where we go from being a child in Christ to being a young man or woman in Christ.  After that it is important that we begin to mature into an elder in the body of Christ.  In the body of Christ, new babes are always being born and we are called to help train them for service and for their lives in this earth.  (Titus 2:3-5) Yet we cannot do this if we stay babes ourselves.

This process of becoming spiritually mature requires our participation.  In the scripture above, Paul distinguishes some of the changes that take place.  He says that when he became a man, he put away childish things.  We must put away from us speaking as a child.  We must be willing to take the time necessary to acquire the understanding of a spiritually mature adult so that we no longer understand as a child.  Even our thoughts have to change from being childish to being spiritually mature, thinking on the things that are pleasing to God and replenishing to our spirit.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. ~Philippians 4:8

This is one of our first steps.

We must change the way we think.  We cannot do this on our own.  Instead, we have to allow God’s word to permeate our beings.  As we do, we will renew our minds and change the way we think. (Roman 12:2)

We also have to change what we do.  It is not enough to simply read the word of God.  We have to do it.  We have to decided that if our lives conflict with the word of God, we will bring things to a clear resolve by doing what the word says. (James 1:22)

In all of this, it is important that we seek to build a relationship with God, in faith as a changed individual. (Hebrews 10:22)

We all want to be our best.  We want to be good wives, mothers, daughters, friends, aunts, sisters, cousins…you name it…we want to be our best.  If we want this, we have to do what it takes to be that.  We have to afford ourselves the opportunities to be our best.  Yet, when we do not pursue the things of God, we rob ourselves and those in our lives of experiencing us at our best.

I hope this message comes across in a way that blesses you.  I have found that being my best means saying no to some things and yes to others.  I have to trust God at His word and do what He says, so that my life can be a reflection of His love.  It might be challenging, but when we look back and see how far we have come, it will all be worth it.

As we bring this week to a close, let’s think about the things we can change in our lives. What are new habits to build and old ones to break? How can our relationship with God and others be better? What is our relationship with the Word of God?

Basically, let’s do some evaluating so that we will be ready tomorrow to start a new week, moving forward spiritually.