Encouragement

5 Tools You Need to Plan Your Day

June 14, 2018 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

Ever wake up in the morning feeling a little frazzled and chaotic? Maybe you had a long night, the night before, because the baby wouldn’t sleep or one of your kids had a nightmare. Perhaps, you have too much laundry to do, groceries to pick up, and the kids have practice. Don’t forget that you still have to decide what to make for dinner, oh and lunch…but you should probably take care of breakfast first, right?!

If you ever wake up feeling overwhelmed by the thought of what you have to do for the day, you need to make sure that you are planning. Not just pretty planning, although that makes it fun, but actually planning your activities.

There’s a lot of talk about this topic of planing today, but it really isn’t anything new. Someone has just put a spin on it.

When I was a little girl, I remember seeing my mother with this big black book. It may not have been that big because looking back, I realize the my perception as a child was a bit skewed. Almost everything looked big to me.

Anyway, my mother had a black leather binder that she kept with her all the time. She wrote phone numbers in it. I saw her taking notes and keeping track of her bills. What I didn’t know until recently was that it was a Franklin Covey classic binder.

That might not be a big deal to you, or it might, but that’s big in planner society.

There I was, a little girl, witnessing, first hand, what it meant to take charge of my day and my life. I didn’t know what an impact that would have on me, until many years later.

Fast forward to today, I have my own Franklin Covey planner. Let me correct that. I have multiple planners in multiple sizes and they all have helped me get the job done.

My mother was a single mom and she got the job done. She had to do her job at work and then come home and get the job done at our house too. I never wondered how she did it as a child, but when I became a mother, I wondered. I realized a few years ago that she remained focused by using that system of writing down her thoughts and plans to stay focused on her goals.

See, we all wake up in the morning a little frazzled. We have to take the time to gather ourselves and focus on what’s important. We should not wake up on 100. We have to pace ourselves, or else we can get drained before the end of the day.

You have to put things in place to assist you with leveling up. Like my mother, you need the things that you are going to keep with you, so that you can focus and feel less overwhelmed.

5 Tools You Will Need

Here are the five things that you need to plan your day. I’ll go more in detail in a future post, so make sure to subscribe to get notified when it publishes. The list is below.

The right mindset. You have to decide that you are going to have order and focus in your life. If you don’t take charge of somethings, disorder and chaos will wreak havoc in your life.
A prayerful heart and your bible. You must have your bible, or bible app, to help you frame your thought patterns for the day. This coupled with a prayerful heart will help you make a well thought out and executable plan of action.
Commitment to move forward and progress. There is no point in planning your day, if you aren’t going to be committed to the tasks. Everything might not always go according to plan, that’s life, but you have to be committed to moving forward and progressing.
A notebook and a beautiful pen. These could technically be two different tools, but you can’t use one without the other. The beautiful pen doesn’t have to be beautiful to anyone else except you. If you like the way that it writes and glides across the paper, it will work. These two items will help you to focus your thoughts before you actually start planning. They will also help you not to lose focus while you plan. Let’s be honest. Things come up. People have requests and we can get side tracked, if not careful.
A planner to write down your plan, track your progress, and review for hindsight. There are so many different types of planners out there to choose from. However, I suggest that you get something that is aesthetically pleasing. You will be using it daily. It also needs to be functional and durable. Don’t get anything that might fall apart on you in a month or six months, at that.

Again, we are going to go into more detail about these five things, in a later post, so make sure to subscribe, but for now, start thinking about what I’ve shared with you today. If you don’t already have a planner, begin looking around to see what’s available. Don’t purchase anything just yet, because we are going to discuss your options…and there are a lot of them out there.

If you have any specific questions that you’d like me to address in the future, regarding planning, post a comment below or send me an email at makeda@beingmrsmom.com

Will You Answer the Call and Fulfill Your Purpose?!

February 21, 2018 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

When I first became a mother, I had no idea what it was going to be like. I couldn’t imagine the amount of responsibility that I was going to feel for the lives of my children. I went to a class for a few months that taught me a few things that I needed to know about taking care of my newborn baby. I then acquired the “What to expect when you’re expecting book.” However, that book stopped once the baby became one years old. There have been other books and resources come out since then, but the truth is that many of us are still learning what is required of us when we answer the call of being a mother. Yet, as you find out, will you answer the call and fulfill your purpose?

Yes! It is a call.

It’s not just flower peddles and roses. It’s a calling. If you are a mother, you were purposed to birth and raise your children. (If you are not a mother, please keep reading because you may have a mothering spirit.) Now that is the most general way to put it, but it encapsulates so much more. It starts from day one of conception. If I am to be real with you, it actually starts before our children are born, with taking care of ourselves. I could go really deep into this, but let’s just briefly think about it for a moment.

Your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health are all time stamped in your child, when they are conceived. These are the things that will be a part of their reality, when they are born. Once you find out that you are pregnant and begin to make the necessary changes, your child has a greater chance at living a healthy life. Still, there is a lot that falls on our shoulders as mothers. I don’t say this to remove fathers from the picture, but I am talking to you…the mom.

From day one, we are feeding our children. We are training them how to be emotionally fit. As we listen to music and experience life, our children in the womb have those experiences. None of this goes away once the children are born. They are just no longer housed within our bodies. Instead, we see them and have now gained the ability and responsibility of teaching them how to live, apart from our physical bodies. We are still responsible for the feeding and nurturing of our children.

No matter what the world wants to tell you about the relationship between a mother and her child, the truth is that mothering is one of your highest callings.

I could sit here all day discussing some of the things that are required of us as mothers, and I can add to this at another time, but today I have one primary focus. I want to sir you up in your innermost parts. I want to call you to a place where you realize that you are needed inside of your household. You may feel like you are called to do many other things, but they should never take you away from the call of being a woman of God, wife to your husband, and mother to your children. You have a very high calling, sister.

You and I cannot get distracted with the things of this world, that we are not able to recognize the ways in which God has assigned us to build up His kingdom. Your children are apart of His kingdom. Your calling is to man the post of your home. You are supposed to cover your husband and children in prayer. You are supposed to oversee what comes in and goes out of the home. You are supposed to pay attention to what they are eating and taking in one a daily basis. You are supposed to recognize the struggles that they have and go to war for them in prayer. If it’s required, you’re also supposed to go to war for them in the natural.

When you feel like the burden is too heavy, you are supposed to wail for your children. When you recognize that the future is too harsh for them, you are supposed to cry out to God, asking Him to fix it. I know that you are probably saying that prayer doesn’t fix everything, but let me tell you God does and prayer is how we connect to Him.

In His word, God makes it very clear. He tells us that He wants to help us and gives us exactly what we should do.

If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. ~2 Corinthians 7:14

Children are dying everyday. We hear about the shootings, killings, cancers, diseases, and so much more. Beyond that, they are being exposed to things that enable a slow deaths and are robbed of the blessings that God desires for them to have.

The truth is that when we take the blinders off, our world isn’t so beautiful. I tell you to find the beauty in this life, but don’t turn a blind eye to what is wrong in it. It is too easy to be entertained and forget that our world needs us. You and I can’t just sit by and watch what is happening. I’m not calling you to request gun control. I’m not telling you to leave the country and feed the hungry. No! I’m telling you to stay home and fight on your knees. Start where you are, with what you can do. Give your children a change. Start there, and from there do whatever else God calls you to do.

Pray that you are forgiven of your sins and the sins of your mothers and fathers before you. Seek the face of God and ask Him to make a way for your children.

Look! You and I are not SUPER-WOMEN!!! We are not, but through God we are mighty and powerful. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Do you want to change the world? Fall on your face and pray.

Do you want the massacres to stop? Seek God and cry out for the children.

Turn off the television. I’m not saying that you can never have fun, but while we are busy playing, the enemy is executing his plan for our children. Yes! I said our children.

What are we going to do when they look at us and ask us to explain why their world looks the way that it does? When our grand parents are gone and are no longer able to be held responsible, the burden falls on us. What will you say? How will you help and still be in their lives? How will you answer God when He says that He gave you a work to do, but you never did it and children died.

Even if you don’t have children, you have a calling.

We have to do something! It goes beyond what we can see and into the unseen. It goes into what we eat and drink. It goes into what we hear and speak. It goes into our spiritual and relational lives. It has to do with God.

Woman, wake up from your slumber and do the work of the Lord! Your responsibility is great and you must answer the call!

Should you consider seeking God for wisdom?

February 15, 2018 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

Have you ever felt overwhelmed in your decision making? Perhaps you were at a place where life felt unbearable. Have you ever experienced situations that threw you out of your comfort zone and left you wondering how you were supposed to handle life, live with joy, or even move forward? If you know this feeling or have experienced it for only a short period of time, then you have also wondered how you could acquire the wisdom that you need to move forward in life. You may not have contemplated these words exactly, but you have tried to determine the steps that were necessary to make good decisions in your life. You began, in some way, to seek wisdom.

This may cause you to feel a bit distraught because everyone else seems to have it together, but the truth is that everyone is searching for wisdom. They are searching in books, movies, people, social media, and in so many other places. However, there is one place where we, as people should turn first. We should turn to God. Yet, many don’t because they believe that it is inconceivable to ask the Most High God for wisdom. They wonder if He would even consider their request. For this reason, they continue to utilize the wisdom of men.

Should you consider seekingGod for wisdom?

The wisdom that comes from men, that is mankind, is sensual and wicked. It derives from the flesh and stirs up strife. If you want to know how to destroy your life and relationships, just seek the wisdom of ungodly people, who have no desire to seek God or encourage you to do so, either.

That being said, if you desire to be successful in life and to have some sense of fulfillment, you must turn to the Lord. When you do, He will give you wisdom and send people your way that are full of godly wisdom, as well.

Let’s pause for a Biblical account

I know I’m doing a lot of talking on this topic, but let’s visit the Bible for a moment to get clarity on the subject.

Have you ever heard of Solomon? He was the son of King David. Prior to his birth, his mother and father had a child that died, due to the sins of his father. As a result, his father promised his mother that he, Solomon, would be the successor of his thrown. However, there was a problem. David had other sons that were older than Solomon. They wanted to be king and had no knowledge of the promise that had been made to Solomon’s mother. Just before King David’s death, while bed ridden, one of his son’s took it upon himself to establish his kingdom, and in his father’s name. Solomon became aware of this fact, but he remained patient because he loved the Lord and kept the statutes of his father, a wise man. (1 Kings 3:3).

In 1 Kings 1-3, we see the situation unfold, where God sent the elders to work out the situation for Solomon. As he waited on God to establish his place on the thrown and his father to fulfill his promise to his mother, and essentially to him, he simply trusted God. When the kingdom of Solomon was established, he was a young man. He had to be younger than 30 and some believe that he could have even been 12 years old. Can you imagine what it would be like to rule over a kingdom as a young person? I don’t think that overwhelming explains how he may have felt at times. Yet, this is how he handled it.

⁷Now, O Lord my God, You have made Your servant king instead of my father David, but I am a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. ⁸And Your servant is in the midst of Your people whom You have chosen, a great people, too numerous to be numbered or counted. ⁹Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”

¹⁰The speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing. ~1 Kings 3:7-10

One translation says that he asked God for an “understanding mind to govern.” This type of request takes great humility, but it also takes great faith in God. Solomon clearly felt that he was incapable of fulfilling the call of king on his own, thus he did what he knew his father, a wise man of God, would have done. He asked of God.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ~James 1:5

God is pleased when we go to Him with our requests. He is a loving Father waiting to give to His children. He wants us to lack nothing and this includes wisdom. When Solomon asked God for wisdom, the Bible says that this pleased the Lord. Not only was God pleased, but He also responded. He confirmed to Solomon, that He would indeed give him the wisdom that he desired and so much more. (1 Kings 3:10-14)

And God gave Solomon wisdom and exceedingly great understanding, and largeness of heart like the sand on the seashore. ~1 Kings 4:29

Now if God gave Solomon the wisdom that he requested, you have to know that He will also give it to you. He doesn’t look at you or me and determine that He isn’t going to give us wisdom. His word says that if we are lacking wisdom, we are supposed to turn to God and He will give it to us.

What is required to be able to ask?

Sure! I understand that you aren’t seeking God to rule over a people as queen. You may be asking Him for wisdom in your marriage, finances, or as a mother. Perhaps you desire to be wiser in life. Please make sure not to minimize your request because you aren’t being crowned as a queen. You don’t have to be in a specific earthly position to ask of God. You just need to have the position of a humbled heart.

A moment of clarity

Today, I want you to take a moment to think about how you have struggled in your mind and decision making. It is important that you and I take the time to realize that without God, we fail miserably. People that don’t have godly wisdom may appear to be successful, but the truth is that they are miserable and striving to achieve pleasure that will sustain them for a mere moment. This earthly wisdom leads them down a path of destruction. You and I cannot be like the people of the world. We are called out and set apart, so we have to do things differently. We have to seek God for wisdom. When we do, He is faithful to supply wisdom and godly resources that are full of His wisdom.

If you feel lost and confused, turn to God. If you are unsure and afraid, turn to God. If you need wisdom and direction, turn to God. He is faithful and will respond to your request because He loves you and wants you to succeed more that you do. If you are still wondering if you should consider seeking God for wisdom, you know my answer. Don’t hesitate! Seek God for wisdom today.

‘Tis the Season to Be Wise

December 5, 2017 By Mrs. Mom 2 Comments

It’s that time of year again. We are celebrating the birth of Christ, the love of family, and making sure that our hearts are merry and bright. Still, let’s not forget all of the other things that we are doing. We are decorating, planning, and shopping. However, in the midst of everything that we are doing, we need to realize this one thing. ‘Tis the season to be wise.

Why Now?

You might be wondering why we are looking at wisdom during the holiday season.

Well, if we are honest with ourselves, wisdom is the one thing that can be lacking at this time of year which will leave a lasting impact on the next year or so of your life.

It can sometimes feel like the real reason for Christmas has been lost in all of the ads, purchases, sales, gadgets, trinkets, lists, and things to do. We can easily forget about the birth of Jesus, being thankful for the gifts of God, and even having a festive occasion with loved ones.

When walking out of the house and into any store, we are bombarded with the sales of things that we really don’t need. When turning on the television, we are shown the latest gadgets and promised happiness.

Now is the time for us to use wisdom.

We have to be diligent to focus on what is important and lasting.

I’m not saying that we can’t shop. I’m not telling you not to go to the stores. I’m just saying that now is the time for you to think before you leap.

How can you use wisdom today? Do these 5 Things …

When considering the season, be excited about all that is happening. There is no reason why you should be stressed about life, if you view it the right way. Truthfully, you could go all out and spend as much money as you want, trying to make everyone happy. You could put up all of the decorations and lights needed to feel like Christmas is coming, but at the end of the night, you have to make sure that you feel good about what you’ve done.

I want to encourage you to use wisdom today and everyday of this season by doing these five things.

Encourage those that you meet and encounter to “Have a Merry Christmas.” It is a small thing to smile at another person and ask how they are doing. You’d be surprised how many people are having a horrible day, month, and even year. Smiling at them might make a difference. Asking how their day is going and waiting for an answer might help them feel like they matter. Saying “have a Merry Christmas” might give them hope. This is the first part to using wisdom because it’s about you pouring into another person. It gets you out of your own head and situation, so that you can see what life is like for other people. Not everyone is happy that it’s December.
Make lists of things that you want to purchase for family and friends, prior to spending. While there are sales going on, you have to remember that the advertiser is not aware of your budget. Even if they were, I’m not 100% sure that it would matter. The sales are going to be there and everything is going to look like the perfect opportunity to get a great deal. However, it’s your job to make sure that you are staying focused on why you are in the store. When you don’t have a list, you can exceed your budget and if you are not careful, that could impact your life next year. Be careful with accumulating debt for Christmas. Those bills will still need to be paid, so don’t spend beyond your means.
Evaluate your spending before you get to the register. This might seem a bit tedious, but it’s important that you look at what you have in your cart or hands prior to getting to the register. You may not have realized all of the things that you put in it, while walking through the store. You can keep a calculator with you and tally up your estimated bill, so that you can spend according to what you can afford. Don’t worry about the people around you. We should all take a moment to do this, so that we aren’t stressing later on about the money that has been spent on impulse. You also want to make sure that things ring up at the price that they were listed on the shelves. Many people are over charged by the stores because the system didn’t charge them the listed or sale price. Don’t worry about how long it takes. If the person behind you is in a hurry, he or she can go to another line. If the cashier is in a hurry, that’s ok. He or she isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so make sure that you are being charged the correct price.
Be realistic in expectations from others for gift giving. This might be confusing, so let me explain. You might have told someone that you want something very expensive. Perhaps you said that you didn’t want anything at all. Yet in reality you are expecting the most expensive, high quality item that money could buy. It is important that you don’t encourage excessive spending from loved ones. You don’t want them to go into debt paying for items that they could not afford, just to make you happy. Plus, that happiness will only be temporary. If you know that you and your husband have a budget, don’t tell him that you want something that is out of the budget. You know what you want to do for your children or other family members. You know the bills that you have to pay. As a woman of wisdom, you should find something within an acceptable price range to add to your lists of desired gifts. Even if you don’t tell anyone what you want and receive items that were contrary to what you expected, make sure that you have a thankful heart. They thought about you and gave you something that they thought you would like. It’s nice to have expensive items, but expensive doesn’t always mean that it’s the best. It just means that it costs a lot.
Let your communication be in a loving and uplifting manner. Earlier I mentioned that you should pour into other people and you should. However, you should also work on cultivating healthy relationships and conversations with other people in a loving and uplifting manner. It is easy to get into an argument with someone during this time of year. People are stressed about finances, relationships, health, and so much more. They are even stressed because they feel like they should be happy and are not. Many people have lost a loved one, are experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts, feel lonely, and lost. They may never tell us what they are experiencing, but we want the love of God to be shared in our lives, even more at this time of year. In your relationships make a point to let people know that you care. Your gift for them could just be a call or an email. Try your hardest to make peace with all people and not to hold grudges within your heart. Remember the “Reason” for the season and share the love of God with others and with yourself.

I hope that you found this encouraging. I pray that God would help you see the multitude of ways that you can walk as a woman of wisdom during this season. Be blessed.

7 Quotes the Inspire Healthy Marriages

November 28, 2017 By Mrs. Mom 2 Comments

As a married woman of today, I’m sure that you’ve noticed the trend that I have noticed. More people are getting divorced, separated, and remaining single. There are more people encouraging us to take care of ourselves than there are inspiring us to nurture our marriages and relationships with our husbands. People want us to be busy fulfilling our roles outside of the home, in ministry, and in the community, but often times the calling of wife goes without encouragement. There are many reasons as to why this is so rampant, but today I want to encourage you with 7 quotes that inspire healthy marriages.

Pulling Away to Scoot Closer

I’ve spent over 15 years with my husband and I know from experience that what I listen to, read, and pour into myself will affect my relationship with him. If I am struggling within myself with issues, it takes a tole on my marriage. If I am to busy cultivating other relationships and forget about my husband, our relationship will feel distant. However, when I am balanced in my efforts and attentive to his needs, the needs of our marriage, and my call as a wife, our relationship blossoms.

Let’s be honest. Sometimes we get to busy to stop and think about what we could be doing to make our marriages better. We get too busy parenting and doing other things. When we go to bed at night, it is too easy to lie down next to our husbands, while on the phone, watching television, or even reading a book, all the while forgetting that there is someone next to us that we need to connect with. We have to be attentive and conscious of this and force ourselves to turn off the devices, put away the book, remove any fear, and turn to that man to just spend sometime cuddling. Who knows where that will lead, but quality time is what your marriage needs.

Today, I want you to spend sometime reading and pondering over these quotes. Make sure that you consider every detail of what is being said. Prayerfully dissect the statements and figure out how you can apply them to your life and marriage.

7 Quotes that Inspire Healthy Marriages

“A great marriage is mostly about two people committing to each other and then employing principles such as love, acceptance, patience, forgiveness, sacrifice, and unselfishness, to enrich that committed relationship. Marriage is more about work that divine luck, more about finding someone to love than about finding someone to meet your laundry list of personal needs.” ~Mark Gungor from Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage
” I can honestly say that I have become a better wife -and a better Christian- when I became a better helper. Realizing I am on assignment from God to help my husband opened my eyes. According to God’s plan I was not to compete with Jim. Instead, I am to be solidly behind him and supportive of him. He is the one who is supposed to win, and I am supposed to help make his victory possible.” ~Elizabeth George from A Woman After God’s Own Heart
“What your husband wants is your acknowledgement that he is the leader, the one in authority. This is not to grind you under or treat you as inferior. It is only to say that because God has made your husband responsible (review Ephesians 5:25-33), he needs the authority to carry out that responsibility. No smoothly running organization can have two heads. To set up a marriage with two equal at the head is to set it up for failure. That is one of the big reasons that people are divorcing right and left today. In essence, the marriages do not have anyone who is in charge. God knew someone had to be in charge, and that is why Scripture clearly teaches that in order for things to work, the wife is called upon to defer to her husband. Wives often tell me that if they submit to their husbands, it means burying their brains and becoming a doormat. If you want to work with your husband to reach mutually satisfying decisions most of the time, follow this principle: GO ON RECORD WITH YOUR HUSBAND THAT YOU SEE HIM AS HAVING 51 PERCENT OF THE RESPONSIBILITY AND THEREFORE, 51 PERCENT OF THE AUTHORITY. Tell Him that you see him as having more authority because he has more responsibility before God -the responsibility to die for you, if necessary. My prediction is that the nature of your arguments and disagreements will change dramatically. Once you go on record about his authority, he will not feel you are trying to be the boss. As you submit (which simply means recognizing his biblically given authority), you will not be a doormat. ~Dr. Emerson Eggeriches from Love & Respect
“You don’t have to agree with your partner to be a good listener.” ~Markman, Stainley, and Blumberg from Fight for Your Marriage
“See, marriages have issues because there are two people involved, growing together. If there were never issues, someone should be concerned because that would mean that stagnation is present. Marriage makes you better and it makes him better too. Just look at the issues, chew up the meat and spit out the bones because some of it is just hogwash.” ~Makeda Rodriguez from Being Mrs. Mom: A Christian Woman Wife and Mother Living in the 21st Century
“People who stay married live four years longer than people who don’t” ~John M Gottman, PH. D., from The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
“Taking Time to listen means putting aside your plans and concentrating on what the other person has to say. Don’t get defensive if he or she wants to point out a short coming. If you do the other person will stop being honest and communication is lost.” ~Phil & Susy Downer from Optimize Your Marriage

These are just a few quotes from the books that I have in my personal library. I would encourage you to purchase and read them. Also pray over these quotes and ask God to help you understand the message at their core. Seek to grow as a woman, so that you can be a better wife.

My prayer for you is that God would give both you and your husband godly influences that would inspire you to cultivate a long and healthy marriage.

10 Keys to Making Your Marriage Last

November 14, 2017 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

Have you ever wondered how to make your marriage last? I’m sure that if you have been married for any more than a day, you have asked yourself if there are things that you can do to make your marriage successful. You could figure this out by yourself. However, I would recommend that you learn from others that have established long-lasting marriages themselves. My husband and I have been married for over 15 years and, although we are not experts on every marriage, we have learned quite a few things that make us experts in our marriage. I’d say that we are strong bond marriage practitioners. The keys that we have learned and shared with other couples, have help them grow in their marriages, over the years. Today, I’d like to share 10 keys to making your marriage last.

Why you shouldn’t just figure it out on your own

I’m sure that I’ve shared this with you before, but when I was a young adult, I had this idea that I wanted to learn from my own mistakes and not from other people. I was convinced that learning from other people would somehow mess up the understanding that I had for my own life. I want to be honest with you, that was not wise thinking. It is best to learn from the mistakes of others, that it is to learn from personal pain, struggles, and trauma. However, I had to learn this the hard way.

If I were wiser in the early years of my marriage, I would have sought wise counsel regarding the role of a married Christian woman. When I say this, you may think that I mean, I would have talked to women that I knew, so that I could do life better. However, that is not what I mean. Looking back on my early years of marriage, I would have prayed more, studied the word of God more, and sought the counsel of wise women who had been in and still remained in lasting godly marriages. I would have watched the more and asked more questions of these women. Instead, I spent at least three years of my marriage trying to figure it out on my own. Those three years were really hard for me because I was stuck in my own way. I wanted to learn from my own mistakes.

I was constantly saying things like, “that may have worked for you, but I don’t think it will work for me.” I didn’t know that there are specific keys to making marriage last that are applicable to every marriage. I had to learn this the hard way, through my mistakes and trial and error.

You don’t want to make this same mistake. Trust me. It took a lot of praying, crying, and painful lessons to get these principles into my mind and heart. You don’t want to sit up late at night feeling rejected because you weren’t willing to seek God and wise godly counsel about your situation. You don’t want to experience heart ache and pain because you have chosen to learn the hard way, through your own mistakes. You don’t want to reject wisdom.

What does the Bible say about seeking wise counsel?

You may think that seeking counsel will mean that all of the intimate intricacies of your relationship will be exposed to another person and uncover your relationship. However, you need to understand that you must have someone to talk to. You must have someone who is willing to hold what you tell them in confidence, pray for you, and offer you wise counsel. This person must also be willing to hold you accountable for your part in your marriage. She has to exhibit fruit in her own marriage that tell you she is a godly woman of wisdom that can teach you how to love and respect your husband. She must be able and willing to help you be self-controlled, pure, a homemaker, kind, and submissive to your own husband. (Titus 2:4-5)

If you still aren’t convinced that you should seek counsel from other trustworthy, godly women, take a look at what the bible says.

Proverbs 1:5 “A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,”

Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise.”

Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.”

Proverbs 20:18 “Plans are established by counsel; by wise counsel wage war.”

Proverbs 24:6 “For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and a multitude of counselors there is safety.”

I pray that you take into consideration what the Word of God is saying about the value of godly wisdom. It is a necessity to a successful life and marriage.

10 Keys to Making Marriage Last

Now that you have an understanding of what the Bible says about wise godly counsel and the risk that you take in learning from your own mistakes, I hope that you are ready to receive these keys that my husband and I have learned over the years. We have to continually apply these keys because being married doesn’t make being married easier.

Life adds pressure and stretches us as people. If we want to remain married, we have to pray and work harder to remain married. I say this because I don’t want you to think that once you start applying these keys, that you will be able to sleep on the enemy of our souls and marriages. Satan will continually try to ambush your marriage, but you have to be wise and prayerful. You have to continually invite God into your marriage, bedroom, and your heart. Take authority over what is not like God, rebuking it from your relationship, and use the keys that He gives you for success in your marriage.

A lot goes in to making marriage last. Start with these 10 keys and watch your marriage begin to transform. You may not like all of these keys, but they are affective and will help your marriage last, if you are prayerful in applying them.

1) Remember that you husband loves you

2) Decided that you don’t always have to be right

3) Spend time, just being there, with your husband

4) Commit to being silent sometimes

5) Never go to bed angry and always say goodnight

6) Commit to frequent occasions of intimacy with your husband

7) Don’t forget to laugh

8) Say thank you and express your gratitude in different ways

9) Determine in your mind that you can take constructive criticism from your husband

10) Challenge him and require him to challenge you.

Bonuses: 11) Commit to remain married and never stop praying

I pray that you found these helpful and will prayerfully apply these 10 keys to making your marriage last to your marriage. If you have any questions or comments, I’m just a message away, so don’t hesitate to reach out.