Have you ever wondered how to make your marriage last? I’m sure that if you have been married for any more than a day, you have asked yourself if there are things that you can do to make your marriage successful. You could figure this out by yourself. However, I would recommend that you learn from others that have established long-lasting marriages themselves. My husband and I have been married for over 15 years and, although we are not experts on every marriage, we have learned quite a few things that make us experts in our marriage. I’d say that we are strong bond marriage practitioners. The keys that we have learned and shared with other couples, have help them grow in their marriages, over the years. Today, I’d like to share 10 keys to making your marriage last.
Why you shouldn’t just figure it out on your own
I’m sure that I’ve shared this with you before, but when I was a young adult, I had this idea that I wanted to learn from my own mistakes and not from other people. I was convinced that learning from other people would somehow mess up the understanding that I had for my own life. I want to be honest with you, that was not wise thinking. It is best to learn from the mistakes of others, that it is to learn from personal pain, struggles, and trauma. However, I had to learn this the hard way.
If I were wiser in the early years of my marriage, I would have sought wise counsel regarding the role of a married Christian woman. When I say this, you may think that I mean, I would have talked to women that I knew, so that I could do life better. However, that is not what I mean. Looking back on my early years of marriage, I would have prayed more, studied the word of God more, and sought the counsel of wise women who had been in and still remained in lasting godly marriages. I would have watched the more and asked more questions of these women. Instead, I spent at least three years of my marriage trying to figure it out on my own. Those three years were really hard for me because I was stuck in my own way. I wanted to learn from my own mistakes.
I was constantly saying things like, “that may have worked for you, but I don’t think it will work for me.” I didn’t know that there are specific keys to making marriage last that are applicable to every marriage. I had to learn this the hard way, through my mistakes and trial and error.
You don’t want to make this same mistake. Trust me. It took a lot of praying, crying, and painful lessons to get these principles into my mind and heart. You don’t want to sit up late at night feeling rejected because you weren’t willing to seek God and wise godly counsel about your situation. You don’t want to experience heart ache and pain because you have chosen to learn the hard way, through your own mistakes. You don’t want to reject wisdom.
What does the Bible say about seeking wise counsel?
You may think that seeking counsel will mean that all of the intimate intricacies of your relationship will be exposed to another person and uncover your relationship. However, you need to understand that you must have someone to talk to. You must have someone who is willing to hold what you tell them in confidence, pray for you, and offer you wise counsel. This person must also be willing to hold you accountable for your part in your marriage. She has to exhibit fruit in her own marriage that tell you she is a godly woman of wisdom that can teach you how to love and respect your husband. She must be able and willing to help you be self-controlled, pure, a homemaker, kind, and submissive to your own husband. (Titus 2:4-5)
If you still aren’t convinced that you should seek counsel from other trustworthy, godly women, take a look at what the bible says.
Proverbs 1:5 “A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,”
Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise.”
Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.”
Proverbs 20:18 “Plans are established by counsel; by wise counsel wage war.”
Proverbs 24:6 “For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and a multitude of counselors there is safety.”
I pray that you take into consideration what the Word of God is saying about the value of godly wisdom. It is a necessity to a successful life and marriage.
10 Keys to Making Marriage Last
Now that you have an understanding of what the Bible says about wise godly counsel and the risk that you take in learning from your own mistakes, I hope that you are ready to receive these keys that my husband and I have learned over the years. We have to continually apply these keys because being married doesn’t make being married easier.
Life adds pressure and stretches us as people. If we want to remain married, we have to pray and work harder to remain married. I say this because I don’t want you to think that once you start applying these keys, that you will be able to sleep on the enemy of our souls and marriages. Satan will continually try to ambush your marriage, but you have to be wise and prayerful. You have to continually invite God into your marriage, bedroom, and your heart. Take authority over what is not like God, rebuking it from your relationship, and use the keys that He gives you for success in your marriage.
A lot goes in to making marriage last. Start with these 10 keys and watch your marriage begin to transform. You may not like all of these keys, but they are affective and will help your marriage last, if you are prayerful in applying them.
1) Remember that you husband loves you
2) Decided that you don’t always have to be right
3) Spend time, just being there, with your husband
4) Commit to being silent sometimes
5) Never go to bed angry and always say goodnight
6) Commit to frequent occasions of intimacy with your husband
7) Don’t forget to laugh
8) Say thank you and express your gratitude in different ways
9) Determine in your mind that you can take constructive criticism from your husband
10) Challenge him and require him to challenge you.
Bonuses: 11) Commit to remain married and never stop praying
I pray that you found these helpful and will prayerfully apply these 10 keys to making your marriage last to your marriage. If you have any questions or comments, I’m just a message away, so don’t hesitate to reach out.
