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being a mom

Will You Answer the Call and Fulfill Your Purpose?!

February 21, 2018 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

When I first became a mother, I had no idea what it was going to be like.  I couldn’t imagine the amount of responsibility that I was going to feel for the lives of my children.  I went to a class for a few months that taught me a few things that I needed to know about taking care of my newborn baby.  I then acquired the “What to expect when you’re expecting book.”  However, that book stopped once the baby became one years old.  There have been other books and resources come out since then, but the truth is that many of us are still learning what is required of us when we answer the call of being a mother.  Yet, as you find out, will you answer the call and fulfill your purpose?

Yes!  It is a call.  

It’s not just flower peddles and roses.  It’s a calling.  If you are a mother, you were purposed to birth and raise your children.  (If you are not a mother, please keep reading because you may have a mothering spirit.)  Now that is the most general way to put it, but it encapsulates so much more.  It starts from day one of conception.  If I am to be real with you, it actually starts before our children are born, with taking care of ourselves.  I could go really deep into this, but let’s just briefly think about it for a moment.  

Your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health are all time stamped in your child, when they are conceived.  These are the things that will be a part of their reality, when they are born.  Once you find out that you are pregnant and begin to make the necessary changes, your child has a greater chance at living a healthy life.  Still, there is a lot that falls on our shoulders as mothers.  I don’t say this to remove fathers from the picture, but I am talking to you…the mom. 

From day one, we are feeding our children.  We are training them how to be emotionally fit.  As we listen to music and experience life, our children in the womb have those experiences.  None of this goes away once the children are born.  They are just no longer housed within our bodies.  Instead, we see them and have now gained the ability and responsibility of teaching them how to live, apart from our physical bodies.  We are still responsible for the feeding and nurturing of our children.  

No matter what the world wants to tell you about the relationship between a mother and her child, the truth is that mothering is one of your highest callings. 

I could sit here all day discussing some of the things that are required of us as mothers, and I can add to this at another time, but today I have one primary focus.  I want to sir you up in your innermost parts.  I want to call you to a place where you realize that you are needed inside of your household.  You may feel like you are called to do many other things, but they should never take you away from the call of being a woman of God, wife to your husband, and mother to your children.  You have a very high calling, sister.  

You and I cannot get distracted with the things of this world, that we are not able to recognize the ways in which God has assigned us to build up His kingdom.  Your children are apart of His kingdom.  Your calling is to man the post of your home.  You are supposed to cover your husband and children in prayer.  You are supposed to oversee what comes in and goes out of the home.  You are supposed to pay attention to what they are eating and taking in one a daily basis.  You are supposed to recognize the struggles that they have and go to war for them in prayer. If it’s required, you’re also supposed to go to war for them in the natural. 

When you feel like the burden is too heavy, you are supposed to wail for your children.  When you recognize that the future is too harsh for them, you are supposed to cry out to God, asking Him to fix it.  I know that you are probably saying that prayer doesn’t fix everything, but let me tell you God does and prayer is how we connect to Him. 

In His word, God makes it very clear.  He tells us that He wants to help us and gives us exactly what we should do.  

If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. ~2 Corinthians 7:14

Children are dying everyday.  We hear about the shootings, killings, cancers, diseases, and so much more.  Beyond that, they are being exposed to things that enable a slow deaths and are robbed of the blessings that God desires for them to have. 

The truth is that when we take the blinders off, our world isn’t so beautiful.  I tell you to find the beauty in this life, but don’t turn a blind eye to what is wrong in it.  It is too easy to be entertained and forget that our world needs us.  You and I can’t just sit by and watch what is happening.  I’m not calling you to request gun control.  I’m not telling you to leave the country and feed the hungry.  No!  I’m telling you to stay home and fight on your knees.  Start where you are, with what you can do.  Give your children a change.  Start there, and from there do whatever else God calls you to do.  

Pray that you are forgiven of your sins and the sins of your mothers and fathers before you.  Seek the face of God and ask Him to make a way for your children.  

Look!  You and I are not SUPER-WOMEN!!! We are not, but through God we are mighty and powerful.  (Ephesians 6:10-18)

Do you want to change the world?  Fall on your face and pray.  

Do you want the massacres to stop?  Seek God and cry out for the children.

Turn off the television.  I’m not saying that you can never have fun, but while we are busy playing, the enemy is executing his plan for our children.  Yes! I said our children.  

What are we going to do when they look at us and ask us to explain why their world looks the way that it does?  When our grand parents are gone and are no longer able to be held responsible, the burden falls on us. What will you say?  How will you help and still be in their lives?  How will you answer God when He says that He gave you a work to do, but you never did it and children died.  

Even if you don’t have children, you have a calling.  

We have to do something!  It goes beyond what we can see and into the unseen.  It goes into what we eat and drink.  It goes into what we hear and speak.  It goes into our spiritual and relational lives.  It has to do with God.  

Woman, wake up from your slumber and do the work of the Lord!  Your responsibility is great and you must answer the call!

Filed Under: Encouragement, Faith, Living Honestly, Mothering Tagged With: being a mom, calling, fulfill your purpose, mothering, parenting, the call of a mother, the call of God

Q & A: Do you struggle with being a stay at home mom?

July 31, 2015 By Mrs. Mom 2 Comments

Q & A

Happy Friday everyone.  As I announced yesterday, I will be doing a Q & A every Friday.  Our first question comes from Elizabeth.Q & A

Hello! I, too, am a grateful SAHM. But, I am in what seems to be a very small group of SAHMs with older children (one tween and one teen) who does not homeschool. Lately, I’ve had several conversations with moms my age who’ve said, “What would I do with myself if I didn’t work?” I, personally, don’t have any problem finding things to do (two words: band mom). But what is your perspective on this subject? It seems it’s acceptable to be a SAHM of babies: so much to do there. And of preschool and elementary kids: hello, PTA mom! But I’m feeling a little lonely here in SAHM/public-school/older children land! 🙂

Well, that is a question that I think most stay at home moms think about and may never actually discuss.  Yet, it is something that I have often asked other stay at home moms about because I am interested in their answer and would like to see what plan they have for life.

In today’s society, women are pressured to have a duality that can often be frustrating.  They are supposed to be strong, but feminine.  The strength that they are expected to have is an emasculating strength (it takes away from our men) that says things like “I don’t need a man to be ok,” or “I will pursue my career and take care of my family.”  While there isn’t anything wrong with these statements in themselves, the implication is that the woman is on an island by herself, having to make decisions for herself and her family because there may be an absence of a man or the man might not be present, even when he is.  This lack of trust in the men that are in our lives, socially, leads the 21 century woman to struggle with being dedicated to her God, her husband, her children, her church, her career, and so much more.

All of these pressures and ideas lead to the destruction of the family.  Who has time and energy to tend to the needs of the family, ward off dangers, and nurture home life, when they are bombarded with these types of ideas and worries.?

I have said all of this because I believe it is at the root of why we struggle with these questions in the first place.

When I first became a mother, I worked.

You know, I need to back up a bit…before I became a mother, I worked.

I had seen my mother work my whole life and I assumed that this was what I was supposed to do.  She took care of me and worked; and I never saw nor understood her struggle.  That “struggle” would become very apparent as my husband and I came to expect our first child.

I was in the military and was expected to do everything that I did before I was pregnant.  Now, if you have never been in the military, you might be thinking, “yes, you should be able to do it all.”  However, I want to challenge your thinking a moment and place you in my pre-mother, military woman, new wife shoes…

As a new wife, I had not yet learned the ins and outs of taking care of my home, nurturing my marriage, or meeting the needs of my husband.  I was supposed to be learning how to maintain my home and make it a place that he wanted to come home to.  It was supposed to be a sanctuary where he could unwind after work and our marriage could grow; a safe haven for me and my young family.  Instead of doing what I was called to do, I was trying to be like my mother, who was a single woman and mother.  I was nurturing myself, keeping my house clean, preparing for work , and taking care of me.  I took tended to my husband and children, but I was very distracted.  This me, had no clue…

As we came to expect our first child, the military did not tell me that I would not have to get up at 6am to go do physical training.  By physical training, I mean run, do crunches, and even push-ups until my belly was too big to do so.  Now this sounds great to the superstar mommy that wants to get back in a bikini right when she has the baby.  She gets on stage and dances, like she has no morning sickness.  Yet I am not, nor have I ever been that woman.  I had to continue to do most of the things I had done prior to expecting a child.

I was 19-year-old GI Jane, but I was tired moody, with occasional morning sickness and life confusion.  I began to wonder, at 3am as I put on my uniform to report for a urinalysis, how anyone could or would expect me to be a mother and a wife while being in the military.  I saw mothers that had 6 month old children deploy, leave the country for one year or more to fulfill military duty. Fulfilling their duty to the country meant leaving their children with families and friends.  My frustration with all that I was handling led me to realize that I could not do all of this.

By this, I meant be everything to everyone.  A few years later, I had gotten out of the military, I was pregnant with our second child, and trying to adjust again.  I had worked outside of the military, placed my oldest son in daycare and left many of my relational needs with my husband stagnant.  I did not have time to nurture a healthy relationship with my son or my husband because I was so busy working and trying to meet the worldly standard of “becoming somebody.”  Now don’t get me wrong, I tried to maintain my relationship with them…I did what I knew to do, but I was divided.  I was trying to focus on to many things at one time

The pregnancy of my second child led me to decide that it was time for me to put my family first.  The needs of my family and the pressure of the worldly standard were in competition due to my desire to be a godly woman, wife, and mother.  I could not see how I could do it all without not doing it all.  Something would be lacking.  I had to make the decision. I decided to pursue my degree in preparation for the future, but I would remain conscious of the needs of my family.  More than I would be conscious of their needs, I would tend to them.

That was 9 years ago.  I have had three more children since then and seen my family grow in such great measure.  I have a healthy relationship with my husband that I believe we are both pleased with, although always a work in progress. 🙂  I have, with much struggle completed my bachelors degree; and have had to be dedicated with a focus on what’s important, as I walk through this current season of working on my masters degree.  This personal history of struggling within myself to do it all has stayed with me throughout the years.  Some women can do it all, but I have found within myself that I cannot be the mother, wife, and woman of God that I desire to be or that God wants me to be if I am also a full-time working woman.

My decision has been a progress.  Currently I have three of my four in school.  My fourth child is two years old.  However, I have found that my 12, 8, and 6 year olds have needed me to be able to be available to them during school hours and when they get home.  If I were working outside of the home, they would not be able to have my full attention, neither would my husband.

As a homemaker, there are a lot of things that go into maintaining my home and relationships with my family.  The culture is crumbling, but my family has a strong foundation in Christ,  so that they can be people of integrity.  I admire the Proverbs 31 woman who did it all, but I have to know my limitations and do what I can.

For each woman, that will look differently.  Currently I am working on my masters degree in Life Coaching, for this very reason.  One of my desires is to help women transition in and out of the workplace in a way that they find will meet the needs of their families and the desires of their hearts.  Part of my journey is maintaining a balance that allows me to be available to my family and to be effective in my education.  My education is preparation for the next season of my life, but it should not take away from the season that I am in.

I believe that it takes great strength to be both of these women, a homemaker and a full-time working mother.  We just have to know our limitations and understand the calling that God has given each one of us.  For me, I feel that I sacrifice something to do everything.  When I am being paid to work outside of my home, my family suffers and I am not answering my first callings as a godly woman, wife, and mother.

I do not struggle with not knowing what to do while I am at home.  I stay very busy with my education, my hobbies, the actual homemaking process, and maintenance of my relationships.  Although, this frame of mind is a struggle because I am a 21st century woman, I seek to be pleasing to God in all that I do and look for his guidance.  There may come a time where I will be a full-time working woman, but God will work that out.

For the woman who is reading this, I want to say that things happen in life that show us what our families need.  There may come a time when you will need to help out in various ways, by working, but there will be other times when you will need to be to your family, what no one else can be.  This season is between you, God, and your husband.  Don’t allow anyone to put pressure on you to be on either side of this equation.  Let God lead you.  Pay attention to the needs of your family.  Do you see, as I did, that my relationship with my husband would have been better if I weren’t distracted with the needs of my job?  Do you see your children wanting you to be more involved or do they need you at school?  Are you available to help with homework and to be at the games?  If you find that you can do it all and still have peace…do it.  However, if you struggle with any aspect of what I am saying, take the time to pray, talk to your husband, and decide what is best for your family.

Each season will have its beginning and will come to an end.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven

~Ecclesiastes 3:1

I hope this has answered your question. 🙂

If you have read this today and would like to submit a question, please visit the Q & A page.

Filed Under: Mothering, Q & A Tagged With: being a mom, being a mother, being a wife, education, homemaker, Life Coaching, military mom, Q 8 A, SAHM, school aged children, stay at home mom, struggle, working mom

What to expect when…

April 26, 2011 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

Wow! What a day?! It was an action packed adventure. There were ups and downs. I had me a couple ins and outs. As I sat down tonight, with all of the kids asleep, I wondered if there is a seminar, book, dvd, or cd that could help us when it comes to raising our kids. I remember that book “What to expect when you’re expecting,” or even “What to expect during the first year.” Those are great books, but there should be one called “What to expect when parenting…period” Let me tell you, I need a copy! It should say something like…
Expect to be challenged
Expect ups and downs
Expect messy clothes and poopy diapers
Expect dirty faces and possible poopy hands
Expect booger eating
Most of all expect the unexpected…

Man, what is a mom to do? I just know that there should have been a class in high school that would give women a realistic view on raising children older than one. Now, I love my children, I am just tired. Honestly after a day like the one I had…I should be tired. I must say, I am learning what to expect from my children. Maybe I should write the book…What to expect when parenting…PERIOD!!!

Filed Under: Daily, Early Mornings & Late Nights, Mothering Tagged With: being a mom, daily living, expect, kids, raising kids, what to expect

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