Feelings

Reflecting and Preparing

September 28, 2015 By Mrs. Mom 4 Comments

Have you ever had a situation in life that you did not want to deal with?

Maybe you felt like you could just wait it out and time would bring a solution…

Let me be the first to say that I know that feeling.

I’ve dealt with somethings in the past few years that I, honestly, considered burying deep within my heart and a secret treasure box somewhere.

Yet, I found that the more I considered not dealing with it, the more it changed me.

Now this wasn’t a single occurrence. It was something that happened a few different times in various situations. As it happened, I kept wondering how I was supposed to handle the problem.

What I found was that I had to deal with it. I had to take the time to allow myself to feel the emotions. Those feelings became the beginning of my process.

From there, I had to talk with someone I trusted. This was someone who I knew would not only listen, but also pray for me and encourage me along the way. I had to begin to reflect on my life so that I could grow and change.

Reflecting

Reflecting, not simply on the occurrences of the past, but also on the situations that had transpired within me. I had to bring myself to a place where I knew how the things that were said and done affected me.

This process of reflecting was not an easy one. There were times, during reflection, where I wanted to avoid the pain of remembering what happened. For the memories seemed to harvest the feeling that caused me such great pain.

Although I did not want to go through the process, I knew that I would have such great freedom after I did.

Cast your cares on God, for he cares for you. ~1 Peter 5:7

One of the reasons why reflecting and self-reflection are so important is that you cannot cast upon God, what you do not know exists.

See, when we give our concerns, fears, anxieties, heartaches, and heartbreak to God, He will take care of them. However, when we do not know or refuse to identify the cares that are driving us crazy, we also choose to hold on to the cares. We decide that we are more powerful alone and don’t need God to solve the problem.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. ~Psalm 55:22

If you can see this clearly, reflecting is a tool of freedom. Without it, we are unable to see primary aspects of ourselves, needed for liberty. Without seeing those areas, we cannot submit our selves to God so that He can free us. Our hearts have to go through the reflection process in order to begin preparing for what is next.

Preparing

After reflecting on the situation and coming to terms with the emotions, thoughts, and feelings that have been experienced, it is imperative that we begin to prepare ourselves for freedom.

Freedom is a choice.

That statement is the first one that we must accept as we prepare ourselves for liberty. See, we can each choose to be prideful, stubborn, hard-hearted, impatient, and fearful. No one will stop us from feeling this way.

Honestly, it is our right to feel anyway that we desire.

However, if I am to move forward on my journey of healing and freedom, I must choose to be humble, tender-hearted, patient, willing, and full of courage. You have to make the same choice if you want freedom.

Freedom will also require us to forgive others. Although it is very hard, each of these choices will unlock the door to our future and prepare us to walk in the place God calls us to.

Now I started this conversation with you by asking if you had ever found yourself in a situation that you didn’t want to deal with. My question for you now is, do you think you are a little better equipped to deal with it, after reading this?

I hope your answer is yes.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you found it helpful.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please share them with me in the comments section.

Expecting the Unexpected

September 21, 2015 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

There are times in life where you know exactly what to expect.

You prepare yourself and those in your life for the event or thing that is about to happen. During those times, there is such excitement and confidence in the way that things are going to go.

Do you know the feeling that I am describing? I’m sure that many of you reading this do.

Then there are times when you know that something is going to happen. You can feel it, but you are not aware of the exact event that is about to take place. With great expectation, you await the moment of revealing, when your eyes will be opened to…it.

That’s how I feel right now.

Over the summer, I had a series of experiences that caused me to be emotionally drained. There were moments where I was very happy and others where I was not. I had so much to do and still nothing to do, at the same time.

With all of this chaos, I could feel that it was a type of attack that was coming my way to get me off track.

I really mean that. My character and relationships were challenged in various ways. All I could do was hold on to God.

Have you ever heard of a three-fold cord that is not easily broken? Well, it’s mentioned in the Bible (Ecclesiastes 4:12) and that is what I held on to all summer. I thank God for keeping me and His Holy Spirit for comforting me.

Now that we are in the fall, things are slowing down, but I have this feeling…this expectation of greatness in my heart.

I don’t know what is about to happen or what God is doing, but I can feel a rising up in my heart for something…something good.

God is about to do something in my life and in me…I can feel it.

So, I am looking forward to that new thing.

With all of the difficulties that I have experienced, good news sounds great!

I am patiently waiting…I really am.

Can you feel my excitement? I am expecting the unexpected.

Have you ever experienced something like this? Can you relate to these emotions?

I’d love to hear about it, so leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading…

When It Seems Easier To Pretend

August 6, 2015 By Mrs. Mom 2 Comments

There is a saying that goes something like this, “when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade…” Have you ever heard of it? I’m sure that you have.

That sounds like a great saying, but have you ever wondered what is going on between the receiving of the lemons and the making of the lemonade? Well I have.

I have wondered what the person is thinking and feeling. I have also wondered when it becomes clear that it is time to make some lemonade.

While dealing with these thoughts, it may be hard to focus on the good, to wait for things to get better, or to even know how to feel. At times like this, I think it might seem easier to pretend.

Upset and frustrated, I have often looked at a situation without knowing what to do or how I was supposed to feel.

Naturally, I am an optimist. Still there are times when I cannot see the bright side and I feel lost. It is at these times that I start to wonder if it would just be easier to pretend that I am not going through anything at all.

Have you ever felt like that?

Pretending means that you get to ignore the situation. You don’t have to talk about it, think about it, or acknowledge anything is happening at all. However, this does not magically stop us from feeling the stress and emotions of the situation. In fact, I think it would make it worse.

By pretending, we would be telling ourselves that the situation did not occur the way that it did. We would also be denying ourselves the right to feel the way we do about what occurred. Denying ourselves of our emotions is not wise because acknowledging our feelings allows us to process situations. Processing the situations, stimulates growth in our lives.

There have been many times when I have wanted to stop thinking about a situation. I have wished that it never happened. I have also tried to ignore my feelings about it all. The result is…well ugly.

When I have tried this in the past, I have become very nonchalant and emotionless about various aspects of my life. It is as if ignoring the situation allowed a totally different process to start in my life…I became cold and despondent.

Generally, that is not me. I care, I feel, I wonder. Yet, ignoring situations and my feelings about situations change me.

When I allow myself to see the situation, no matter how painful, I feel the emotions attached to it; when I feel those emotions, I process them. In processing them, I begin to learn from the situation. Learning from situations offers wisdom and helps me to trust in God.

I used to ask why God would allow me to go through somethings. I could not see with my eyes, why He would, in all of His infinite wisdom, allow me to endure such situations. It wasn’t until I read Romans 5:3-5

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I realized that the tribulations, no matter how big or small, make me better. They encourage me to a place of being better and hoping in God more.

Now do you see why it is never good to pretend. We don’t have to treat others badly and act in a way that is unbecoming, but we should recognize the tribulation and allow the process of feeling, becoming, and overcoming to take place in our lives.

Today, I want to encourage you, as I have been encouraged myself. We have been given some lemons and it’s time to make some lemonade.

Sometimes, you may not know how to feel, what to think, or how to act, but continue to trust God. He knew what would happen and He has something great prepared for you in the end. Recognize how the tribulation produces perseverance in you. Take note of how the perseverance produces character in you. Understand how the character produces hope in you. When it is all said and done, look back and see how you are better and the hope that you have in God has not failed you. Remember that it never will.

I hope you have found this helpful and that you will remember these things.

When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade…

Until next time…don’t pretend and be blessed.

Thoughts on Today

August 3, 2015 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

I have been sitting here thinking of what to share with you about my day.

It was very busy and full of emotional ups and downs.

The ups were about my day. The downs were about my past month.

There were things that happened, conversations that I had, and questions that I asked, which are still on my mind.

Today, I realized, more than ever, that we may not get to choose the circumstances of our lives, but we do get to choose our reactions to them.

So this is what I want to share with you today.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8

The things that we think will help us act in a way that we can be proud of. The actions of others may cause us to consider doing things or saying things that are out of character, but prayer and proper thinking will help us to see life in a different light.

So try to make good decisions and have a good day.

Until next time…

On Matters of the Heart: The One Who is Hurt

July 28, 2015 By Mrs. Mom 1 Comment

In all of my years upon this earth, I have come to learn a few things on matters of the heart. Today I am going to discuss hurt.

It may seem like a very broad topic, but hurt, when it comes to matters of the heart is like a double-sided coin. You just can’t win.

If you have been living for longer than 5 years upon this earth, which I suspect that you have, if you are reading this, you have either hurt someone else or have been hurt by someone.

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, tear drops and laughter, pleasure and pain. Just remember, there was never a cloud that the sun couldn’t shine through. ~Unknown

I set this quote here because I am going to talk about this topic of hurt and it is no easy feat. However, I think it is important to remember that it won’t last forever, no matter which side of the equation you are on.

Alright…now let’s get into it.

When it comes to this heart thing it is either hurt or be hurt…wait! Let me explain.

I am not saying this as a thing that should be done; you either hurt someone else or you get hurt.

Nor am I saying that you have to make a choice, right now, about which person you should be.

No!

I am saying this as an observation; I want you to think on this, as I explain.

Throughout the duration of a having a personal relationship with anyone upon this earth, there will come a time where either you or the other person will become offended. This is inevitable. Even Jesus said that it would happen. “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!” Luke 17:1

Did you catch that?

He said that it is impossible that no offenses should come, so the first position that I would like to deal with is the one whom the offense has come to.

The One Who is Hurt

Hurt…hurt comes. It comes in different fashions and forms. It can look many different ways and be very unexpected. There are even times when you can see it coming and attempt to protect yourself, but somehow, it still makes its way to your heart.

If you have ever been hurt, you know that there is a blow to the heart that reminds you that you are more that flesh and bone. I say this because it is not a physical pain that we feel when we are hurt, but instead it is one that goes beyond the physical realm and hits our emotions.

When you are hurt, you can feel like you have done something wrong; you could feel rejected, confused, and even angered by the pain that someone else has caused you.

Yet, in the midst of all that you are experiencing you have a choice to make.

What are you going to do?

Various choices can begin to come to your mind. While some options may involve retaliation, I urge you not to make those choices.

Yes, I understand that there is only so much that a heart can take and you may feel that you have taken enough, but let me tell you, there is nothing that you will ever do that will not produce some sort of fruit, whether good or bad, that you will not have to eat some day. You will reap what you sow.

Do you want the fruit of hurting another in retaliation?

Hopefully you answered wisely and said no.

So what is it that you are supposed to do? Nothing?

Now I am not suggesting that you do nothing. Instead I am suggesting that you not be quick to anger or quick to act; Don’t be quick to speak either, for that matter. (Ecclesiastics 7:9; James 1:19)

Take a moment, whether in a heated discussion or in the privacy of your own thoughts, to take wise Counsel with God. He is near to you, if you draw near to Him, in any moment that you desire and He will give you wisdom on how to act. (James 4:8; James 1:5)

Once you have taken a moment, realize that your actions are very important from here on out. We teach people how to treat us, by how we allow them to treat us and by how we treat others.

If a person has hurt you, it is imperative that you first realize the importance of setting some boundaries.

What has this person said or done, or the lack there of, that has caused you to be hurt.

*STOP!!! YOU ARE NOT MAKING YOURSELF PROMISES AT THIS POINT!* Don’t say things like I will never allow you to hurt me in that way again.

Making yourself promises is not what I am encouraging you to do.

What I am encouraging you to do is to set up some boundaries.

See it

Let’s pause for a moment to get a visual…

Two neighbors live with open fields. They are friends and they often travel to one another’s houses for fun, festivities, and personal conversation. Crossing the property line has never been a problem. However, both of these families have dogs. When the families cross the property line the dogs have gone with them, in the past. Yet on occasion, when there friends are not going to one another’s houses, the dogs cross the boundary line anyway. One family has a garden in the back yard. The other family has a family play set and activities set up in their back yard. When the neighbor’s dog crosses the property line, it often leave its mark. It goes to the bathroom, rummages through the garden, or bites & scratches up the family play set. Both families have noticed the problem. Without allowing the emotions of being upset to get to them, they simply decide that there is a need for a fence to be placed between the two homes. The dogs have no ill intent, they are just being dogs. Yet there is a need to set a boundary for the dogs, so that each yard can remain as the families would like it to. Each family takes the necessary steps to set this up as they, each, see necessary. Once the fence is set up, the dogs remain where the owners have left them, the yards remain intact, and the families continue to grow in their relationship together.

Getting an understanding

Did you get the visual? I hope so…

Did you get what you need to do? I hope so…

You need to decide what the fence is that will allow you to keep your property in tact.

Now, fences are not walls. They are fences that simply say to other people, this is my property and I would like you to respect my property line. Your dogs are not allowed to go rummaging in my yard; nor can they tear up my family play set.

This is not an easy task, but it is one that needs to be done in order for you to remain unoffended.

The offenses will come, but you have to decide how to handle them.

Making the right choice

There will be many options for you, but I suggest that you take time for yourself, so that you can get a grip of how you are feeling and seek God, to know what you need to do.

Just don’t make any rash decisions. Choose not to accept the offense as it is, but instead to reevaluate why you are hurt and how you can not be offended. There will be times when you can see why you are hurt, but cannot see how it is that you cannot be offended. When this happens, you have another option, just forgive. If you have to, forgive yourself for anything that your feel responsible for. Then forgive the person, so that you can move on.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Nor does not forgetting mean always rehashing the painful events. Instead it means that you learn from the experience and see how things can work out better next time.

Side Note: Sometimes God allows us to see the character of people. When you see it, pray, and act in a way that honors God, is wise, and is confirmed in your conscience. Pray for the other person because hurt people hurt people.

It is my prayer for you that in the midst of all that you are feeling and experiencing, you would have peace through seeking God and acting in a way that glorifies Him.
Things happen in life, but remember there is no cloud that the sun cannot shine through…more importantly, there is no situation that God cannot fix. We just have to trust Him in it.

I’m Overwhelmed…

June 12, 2015 By Mrs. Mom 8 Comments

We all have these days…

You know them…

Days where it’s hard to move forward…

Hard to smile…

Hard to function…

Not because of the weather, or something that just happened, but because something is bothering you…

Something is causing you to be emotional…

Something that makes you want to quit…

To say, “I’m done.”

It makes you vulnerable and turns everything else into a big deal too…

Capable of snapping on someone…

You hold back…

Shut down…

Pull back the tears…

And run inside where no one but God can see you…

And while there…you say…

“God why?!”

Everyone around you thinks they know, but they have no clue…

If you are like me, you realize…

THIS IS OVERWHELMING!!!

STOP!!! STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

What is the problem? Who is the problem? Why is there a problem? Why such great turmoil, pain, agony…Why?

We don’t wrestle against flesh and blood…No

We wrestle against the principalities in this life, against rulers, against the powers, against the world forces in this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places… That’s what Ephesians 6:12, 13 says.

They make themselves known and affect us by whispering things in our ears, throwing destructive darts at our minds, and aiming their blows at our hearts…

But we have a choice…

Say this with me…

OVERWHELMED!!! YES, I AM OVERWHELMED!!!!

I am overwhelmed with emotions, but I will decide why I am overwhelmed… and it is not because of what these forces have to dish out against me…

NO!!!

I am overwhelmed because I serve a great God that is more than able to take care of me and everything that attempts to overwhelm me.

I am overwhelmed because of His great salvation. I am overwhelmed because of His love. I am overwhelmed because of His heart for me.

I am overwhelmed because of His power and His might…

I am overwhelmed because in the midst of my emotions, He makes Himself known…through the trees, the wind…

Through the birds…

Through the color of everything around me…

He whispers in my heart…

FEAR NOT!!! I AM HERE AND I HAVE ALREADY OVERCOME THEM!!! HAVE COURAGE AND HOLD ON TO ME…I AM HERE AND I’VE GOT THIS…

You just don’t know how completely overwhelmed I am right now…

I can feel His love…can you?

In the mist of my brokenness…in the midst of my ache…I know He is all-powerful.

My husband said “Don’t let anyone mess up your day! Have a good one…”

That was God, speaking through Him…

The “let” in his statement said “take authority…don’t let it have power over you…put on the armor of God and stand”

Today, I stand on my knees…worshiping HIM.

I will choose what overwhelms me. It will not be the cares of this life, or the problems…or the people…It will be God! He will overwhelm me…

Have you ever felt overwhelmed?

How do you handle it?

Are you able to take control of your emotions and focus on Him?

Try it! Next time let Him overwhelm you…it may take a minute, but whisper “God help me to be overwhelmed by you.” and I promise you will experience a great and powerful overwhelming that you will yearn for again…

Watch these two videos…