Being Mrs. Mom™

Woman, Wife, Mother

You are here: Home / Archives for Encouragement

Encouragement

Expecting the Unexpected

By Leave a Comment

There are times in life where you know exactly what to expect.

Time For Something New

You prepare yourself and those in your life for the event or thing that is about to happen.  During those times, there is such excitement and confidence in the way that things are going to go.

Do you know the feeling that I am describing?  I’m sure that many of you reading this do.

Then there are times when you know that something is going to happen.  You can feel it, but you are not aware of the exact event that is about to take place.  With great expectation, you await the moment of revealing, when your eyes will be opened to…it.

That’s how I feel right now.

Over the summer, I had a series of experiences that caused me to be emotionally drained.  There were moments where I was very happy and others where I was not.  I had so much to do and still nothing to do, at the same time.

With all of this chaos, I could feel that it was a type of attack that was coming my way to get me off track.

I really mean that.  My character and relationships were challenged in various ways.  All I could do was hold on to God.

Have you ever heard of a three-fold cord that is not easily broken?  Well, it’s mentioned in the Bible (Ecclesiastes 4:12) and that is what I held on to all summer.  I thank God for keeping me and His Holy Spirit for comforting me.

Now that we are in the fall, things are slowing down, but I have this feeling…this expectation of greatness in my heart.

I don’t know what is about to happen or what God is doing, but I can feel a rising up in my heart for something…something good.

God is about to do something in my life and in me…I can feel it.

So, I am looking forward to that new thing.

With all of the difficulties that I have experienced, good news sounds great!

I am patiently waiting…I really am.

Can you feel my excitement?  I am expecting the unexpected.

Have you ever experienced something like this?  Can you relate to these emotions?

I’d love to hear about it, so leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading…

Who Can You Trust?

By 2 Comments

Everyday we go through things. Life is filled with ups and downs. When we are hurt, we can begin to wonder, who we can trust…

No matter what there is one thing that we must remember.

IMG_0721.JPG
That’s right!!!

We must trust in Him because He will never, ever, fail us.

There are so many people that will let us down. There are so many people that will forget…

They will turn and walk away. They may give up. They may say things that are hurtful, but there is One that will never treat you this way.

He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords. He lives up to being the Best and will always exceed our expectations.

Today, I want you to remember as I am reminded…our God is great.

Never wonder again who you can trust in…Trust God because He will never fail us.

When It Seems Easier To Pretend

By 2 Comments

There is a saying that goes something like this, “when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade…”  Have you ever heard of it?  I’m sure that you have.

That sounds like a great saying, but have you ever wondered what is going on between the receiving of the lemons and the making of the lemonade?  Well I have.

I have wondered what the person is thinking and feeling. I have also wondered when it becomes clear that it is time to make some lemonade.

While dealing with these thoughts, it may be hard to focus on the good, to wait for things to get better, or to even know how to feel.  At times like this, I think it might seem easier to pretend.

Upset and frustrated, I have often looked at a situation without knowing what to do or how I was supposed to feel.

Naturally, I am an optimist.  Still there are times when I cannot see the bright side and I feel lost. It is at these times that I start to wonder if it would just be easier to pretend that I am not going through anything at all.

Have you ever felt like that?

Pretending means that you get to ignore the situation.  You don’t have to talk about it, think about it, or acknowledge anything is happening at all.  However, this does not magically stop us from feeling the stress and emotions of the situation.  In fact, I think it would make it worse.

By pretending, we would be telling ourselves that the situation did not occur the way that it did.  We would also be denying ourselves the right to feel the way we do about what occurred.  Denying ourselves of our emotions is not wise because acknowledging our feelings allows us to process situations.  Processing the situations, stimulates growth in our lives.

There have been many times when I have wanted to stop thinking about a situation.  I have wished that it never happened.  I have also tried to ignore my feelings about it all.  The result is…well ugly.

When I have tried this in the past, I have become very nonchalant and emotionless about various aspects of my life.  It is as if ignoring the situation allowed a totally different process to start in my life…I became cold and despondent.

Generally, that is not me.  I care, I feel, I wonder.  Yet, ignoring situations and my feelings about situations change me.

When I allow myself to see the situation, no matter how painful, I feel the emotions attached to it;  when I feel those emotions, I process them.  In processing them, I begin to learn from the situation.  Learning from situations offers wisdom and helps me to trust in God.

I used to ask why God would allow me to go through somethings.  I could not see with my eyes, why He would, in all of His infinite wisdom, allow me to endure such situations.  It wasn’t until I read Romans 5:3-5

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.  Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

I realized that the tribulations, no matter how big or small, make me better.  They encourage me to a place of being better and hoping in God more.

Now do you see why it is never good to pretend.  We don’t have to treat others badly and act in a way that is unbecoming, but we should recognize the tribulation and allow the process of feeling, becoming, and overcoming to take place in our lives.

Today, I want to encourage you, as I have been encouraged myself.  We have been given some lemons and it’s time to make some lemonade.

Sometimes, you may not know how to feel, what to think, or how to act, but continue to trust God.  He knew what would happen and He has something great prepared for you in the end.  Recognize how the tribulation produces perseverance in you.  Take note of how the perseverance produces character in you.  Understand how the character produces hope in you.  When it is all said and done, look back and see how you are better and the hope that you have in God has not failed you.  Remember that it never will.

I hope you have found this helpful and that you will remember these things.

When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade…

Until next time…don’t pretend and be blessed.

Thoughts on Today

By Leave a Comment

I have been sitting here thinking of what to share with you about my day.

IMG_0440.JPG

It was very busy and full of emotional ups and downs.

The ups were about my day. The downs were about my past month.

There were things that happened, conversations that I had, and questions that I asked, which are still on my mind.

Today, I realized, more than ever, that we may not get to choose the circumstances of our lives, but we do get to choose our reactions to them.

So this is what I want to share with you today.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8

The things that we think will help us act in a way that we can be proud of. The actions of others may cause us to consider doing things or saying things that are out of character, but prayer and proper thinking will help us to see life in a different light.

So try to make good decisions and have a good day.

Until next time…

Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

By Leave a Comment

Now, I am going to say that this will not be an easy pill to swallow.

Not just for you, but for me too.

Don't be so hard on yourself

This morning as my husband was leaving the house, he kissed my youngest daughter and told her that she was beautiful.  Then he leaned over and gave me a kiss.  He looked at me and told me that I was beautiful too.

With all of my stinky morning breath, crusty eyes, and messed up hair, I said “Not right now, I’m not.”  In response to my awkward response to his affectionate and loving words, in which I had rejected myself and him, to a degree, he said… “Yes, you are!  You’re my wife.”

Ok…wait!  Did you get that?! Or did you miss it?!

He not only disregarded what I had said, but he also took it and turned it around by implying that because I am his wife, I am beautiful.

After he left, I read a devotional that illustrated how often we take the time to treat strangers and those that we don’t really know, very well.  Yet, we fail to treat ourselves and, sometimes, the ones we love, with that same kindness.

Normally I would have told a friend or someone who I didn’t know, that they should not be so hard on themselves. Yet I was doing it.

So I took some time to think about this.

How does the way that I treat myself affect my relationships with others and more importantly, my relationship with God?

There are enough people and ads out there that tell me that I am not beautiful, too dark, my hair isn’t straight enough.  They say that I’m not smart enough, not tall enough, short enough, bold enough.  They say that I’m too feminine and too masculine.  They tell me that I need to be more independent, but that I’m not dependent enough.  You know…I smile too much, but don’t smile enough.  How about this one?  I’ve been told that I am too organized, but not organized enough.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that I should listen to these voices.  They don’t seem too sure of the standard.

Then there is me…I am really hard on myself.  I often hold myself to a very high standard.  In many ways, I deal with perfectionism.  We all know that I will never be perfect, in this life.  In all actuality, I am aiming to be pleasing to God, but that ends up translating into trying too hard.  I keep trying to do what is right in His eyes, but I hear the voices of people. I hear them rejecting my application.  I hear them telling me that now is not the time and I’m not it.

My heart believes that He loves me and that I am accepted, but this head of mine…its always fighting with my heart.  Telling me that I am not special and most often, I am not wanted.

With all of this, I think I hear God saying that I am not good enough and He is not pleased…

But wait!!! That’s not the truth.

He never said that.  That’s not even His character.

Much like my husband, He looks at me, in all of my mess.  He has said “You are beautiful. You are mine.” (see Isaiah 43:1)

He has said that his kindness would not depart from me; that he would have mercy on me, and that his covenant of peace would not be removed from me. (See Isaiah 54:10)

He has created me as I am supposed to be and he loves me. He will never leave me.

He has said the same thing to you.

Don’t believe me?

Let’s look at what the Bible says.

1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.
2You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.
3You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.
4For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.
7Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
11If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me;
12Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.
17How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
18If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.
19Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God! Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20For they speak against You wickedly; Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21Do I not hate them, O Lord, who hate You? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties;
24And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.
~Psalm 139

Are you able to see it?  Have you realized why it is important not to be so hard on yourself?  Meeting the expectations of the world is impossible because they don’t know what they want.  The world is tossed in every which way depending on the culture climate.  However, our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  The woman who He created you to be is the woman that He wants you to be.  He gave you that hair, that skin, that smile, those teeth and all of your qualities.  He has said that He would never leave us or forsake us. (see Joshua 1:9)

He has created us and in rejecting ourselves, we, in turn, reject Him.  We are made in His image and with His love.  He made us in a way that is magnificent and pleasing to Himself.  All He wants is our love, obedience, and worship.

This in itself is another post, but let me leave you with this.  If you don’t love God with all of your heart, another god will sit on the throne of your heart and you will love it.  If you don’t obey God, you will submit to another authority and obey it.  If you don’t worship God, you will find something else to worship.

So, what am I getting at?

All of those other things, that will attempt to take the place of God and desire you, will never ever do what God has done for you.  They have never taken the time to piece you together and they will never love you.  They are not totally dedicated to seeing you at your best…only God can, has, and will do those things.  He sent Jesus Christ to die for your sins and to wipe your slate clean.

Have you ever lied?

Have you ever stolen something?

Have you ever used the Lord’s name in vain?

Have you ever looked at a man with lust in your heart?

Have you ever been jealous of what someone else had and wanted it?

Before Jesus, we were all liars, adulterers, and covetous thieves at heart.  There was nothing left for us but to try hard and burn in eternal damnation away from God.  Yet, Love paid the ultimate price and has now given us a chance to have life more abundantly here on earth…no more trying, just be who He has called you to be and walk with Him.  You are also now able to have eternal life.

If you don’t already know Jesus Christ as your  Lord and Savior, please take a moment, in your heart to speak with the One true and living God.  Accept His free gift of salvation, repent of your sins, and make Him the Lord of your life.

I can’t promise you that there won’t be days when you wake up feeling like I did.  I can’t promise you that you won’t or that the world won’t be so hard on you, but I can tell you that you don’t have to be.  I can tell you that God is there at the door and He wants to walk with you through your roughest times.  This applies to you whether you have known the Lord for years or are just meeting Him.

My prayer for you today is that you would have peace in Him.

Have a great day and be blessed.

On Matters of the Heart: The One Who is Hurt

By 1 Comment

In all of my years upon this earth, I have come to learn a few things on matters of the heart.  Today I am going to discuss hurt.

 

It may seem like a very broad topic, but hurt, when it comes to matters of the heart is like a double-sided coin.  You just can’t win.

If you have been living for longer than 5 years upon this earth, which I suspect that you have, if you are reading this, you have either hurt someone else or have been hurt by someone.

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, tear drops and laughter, pleasure and pain. Just remember, there was never a cloud that the sun couldn’t shine through. ~Unknown

I set this quote here because I am going to talk about this topic of hurt and it is no easy feat.  However, I think it is important to remember that it won’t last forever, no matter which side of the equation you are on.

Alright…now let’s get into it.

When it  comes to this heart thing it is either hurt or be hurt…wait! Let me explain.

I am not saying this as a thing that should be done; you either hurt someone else or you get hurt.

Nor am I saying that you have to make a choice, right now, about which person you should be.

No!

I am saying this as an observation; I want you to think on this, as I explain.

Throughout the duration of a having a personal relationship with anyone upon this earth, there will come a time where either you or the other person will become offended.  This is inevitable.  Even Jesus said that it would happen. “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!” Luke 17:1

Did you catch that?

He said that it is impossible that no offenses should come, so the first position that I would like to deal with is the one whom the offense has come to.

The One Who is Hurt

Hurt…hurt comes.  It comes in different fashions and forms.  It can look many different ways and be very unexpected.  There are even times when you can see it coming and attempt to protect yourself, but somehow, it still makes its way to your heart.

If you have ever been hurt, you know that there is a blow to the heart that reminds you that you are more that flesh and bone.  I say this because it is not a physical pain that we feel when we are hurt, but instead it is one that goes beyond the physical realm and hits our emotions.

When you are hurt, you can feel like you have done something wrong; you could feel rejected, confused, and even angered by the pain that someone else has caused you.

Yet, in the midst of all that you are experiencing you have a choice to make.

What are you going to do?

Various choices can begin to come to your mind.  While some options may involve retaliation, I urge you not to make those choices.

Yes, I understand that there is only so much that a heart can take and you may feel that you have taken enough, but let me tell you, there is nothing that you will ever do that will not produce some sort of fruit, whether good or bad, that you will not have to eat some day.  You will reap what you sow.

Do you want the fruit of hurting another in retaliation?

Hopefully you answered wisely and said no.

So what is it that you are supposed to do? Nothing?

Now I am not suggesting that you do nothing.  Instead I am suggesting that you not be quick to anger or quick to act; Don’t be quick to speak either, for that matter. (Ecclesiastics 7:9; James 1:19)

Take a moment, whether in a heated discussion or in the privacy of your own thoughts, to take wise Counsel with God.  He is near to you, if you draw near to Him, in any moment that you desire and He will give you wisdom on how to act. (James 4:8; James 1:5)

Once you have taken a moment, realize that your actions are very important from here on out.  We teach people how to treat us, by how we allow them to treat us and by how we treat others.

If a person has hurt you, it is imperative that you first realize the importance of setting some boundaries.

What has this person said or done, or the lack there of, that has caused you to be hurt.

*STOP!!! YOU ARE NOT MAKING YOURSELF PROMISES AT THIS POINT!* Don’t say things like I will never allow you to hurt me in that way again. 

Making yourself promises is not what I am encouraging you to do.

What I am encouraging you to do is to set up some boundaries.

See it

Let’s pause for a moment to get a visual…

Two neighbors live with open fields.  They are friends and they often travel to one another’s houses for fun, festivities, and personal conversation.  Crossing the property line has never been a problem.  However, both of these families have dogs.  When the families cross the property line the dogs have gone with them, in the past.  Yet on occasion, when there friends are not going to one another’s houses, the dogs cross the boundary line anyway.  One family has a garden in the back yard.  The other family has a family play set and activities set up in their back yard.  When the neighbor’s dog crosses the property line, it often leave its mark.  It goes to the bathroom, rummages through the garden, or bites & scratches up the family play set.  Both families have noticed the problem.  Without  allowing the emotions of being upset to get to them, they simply decide that there is a need for a fence to be placed between the two homes.  The dogs have no ill intent, they are just being dogs.  Yet there is a need to set a boundary for the dogs, so that each yard can remain as the families would like it to.  Each family takes the necessary steps to set this up as they, each, see necessary. Once the fence is set up, the dogs remain where the owners have left them, the yards remain intact, and the families continue to grow in their relationship together.

Getting an understanding

Did you get the visual?  I hope so…

Did you get what you need to do? I hope so…

You need to decide what the fence is that will allow you to keep your property in tact.

Now, fences are not walls.  They are fences that simply say to other people, this is my property and I would like you to respect my property line.  Your dogs are not allowed to go rummaging in my yard; nor can they tear up my family play set.

This is not an easy task, but it is one that needs to be done in order for you to remain unoffended.

The offenses will come, but you have to decide how to handle them.

Making the right choice

There will be many options for you, but I suggest that you take time for yourself, so that you can get a grip of how you are feeling and seek God, to know what you need to do.

Just don’t make any rash decisions.  Choose not to accept the offense as it is, but instead to reevaluate why you are hurt and how you can not be offended.  There will be times when you can see why you are hurt, but cannot see how it is that you cannot be offended.  When this happens, you have another option, just forgive.  If you have to, forgive yourself for anything that your feel responsible for.  Then forgive the person, so that you can move on.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting.  Nor does not forgetting mean always rehashing the painful events.  Instead it means that you learn from the experience and see how things can work out better next time.

Side Note:  Sometimes God allows us to see the character of people.  When you see it, pray, and act in a way that honors God, is wise, and is confirmed in your conscience.  Pray for the other person because hurt people hurt people.

It is my prayer for you that in the midst of all that you are feeling and experiencing, you would have peace through seeking God and acting in a way that glorifies Him.
Things happen in life, but remember there is no cloud that the sun cannot shine through…more importantly, there is no situation that God cannot fix.  We just have to trust Him in it.