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Mommy Intergration

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Over the past couple of weeks I have found that the same topics are coming up in my conversations with other moms.  I am married with four children and I do a lot.

I blog, crochet, knit, sew, go to school, moderate various groups, and so much more.

I know!  That list doesn’t seem like a lot, but I kinda cut it short and used words to summarize my activities.

(I digress) 🙂

The point in saying all of this is that often times people think that because I have four children I have very little time to do much of anything else.

They say things like, “How do you find the time?” and “I don’t have four children and I can’t seem to get what I want done.”

Well, here are my thoughts on this.

First, let me say that I did not learn this over night.  It took a some time for me to get what I am about to share with you.

We have to learn to integrate what we love and what we do with who we are.

I get it…that seems confusing, but let me explain a bit.

You and I are both individuals that are very complex.  We aren’t as simple as the titles that we carry.

Simply put…you are not just a mother or a wife.  You are so much more.

You are the woman that God has created you to be.

The truth is that whether we accept it or not we are who we are.  Learning who we are is a great part of this process.

I had to learn who I am.  I had to learn what I like and what I don’t like.  I had to learn what makes me tick.  What makes me smile?   What helps & encourages me and what can stop me right in my path.

Again I say, this was a process.

I spent time looking at my life when it was consumed with only being a mother and a wife.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother and a wife, but without the “me” part, it can all become a bit robotic.

I learned that my family apprecieates my creative abilities and they take joy in watching me do what I do.

Hence the “Mommy Intergration.”  It is the act of incorperating mommy into my life and not the other way around.  I am first myself.  I am a woman that loves and serves God.  I am also a wife who loves her husband.  I am also a mother that loves her children.  Yet still, I am a woman that enjoys crafting, speaking, reaching out to others, and making a difference in this world. (Or at least trying to)

As I mother, I make time for the things that I enjoy.  I sit down to watch the television shows that I like and I allow my children to watch them with me.  (This being said, I don’t watch anything that doesn’t promote a healthy godly lifestyle) As my children watch television with me, they learn what its like to just be.  Not to be a mother, but to be themselves.

I do this same thing with crafting.  I allow my children to sit and watch or at times participate in my crafting activities.  This allows them to see that there is a creative side to who I am.  They also learn that there is a creative side to who they are as well.

I’m sure you see the pattern here.  I take time every month, every week, and everyday to do something that I love and enjoy.  I find a way to incorperate what I do with mothering. My children don’t always have to be napping for me to do what I enjoy.  They can sit with me as I do it.  We can talk about it.

As I do this daily, I find great fulfillment in my life.  I am constantly asking God to help me live a life that is fulfilling, pleasing to Him, and encouraging to others, including my children.

As my children see me living as me…not just mom…they learn who they are.

So, if you were to visit my home, you would find lots of singing, dancing, reading, crafting, cleaning, making a mess, playing, taking time out for self, making time for others, and just…well, being…

I hope that I was able to communicate my thoughts on this in a way that is understandable.  This is a topic that I have a lot of passion about, so I have so much more to say about it.  I just wanted to take a moment a speak on it.

Perhaps in the future I’ll write on it more.

I want to encourage you to find out who you are and to integrate your mommy-ing into your life.  I pray that your mothering experience will be as pleasurable as mine is.

Do you every think on this topic?  What are you thoughts, challenges, obstacles?  Have you found mommy integration an easy thing to do?  Leave a comment so we can discuss it.

It’s Not An Easy Job But It’s Mine…

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As a mother, I get to have fun with my children.  I get to love on them and see them grow.  I get hug and kiss them and say good night.

I also get to make the hard decisions that they don’t like.

As I sat with my children last night, I thought of all of the different things that present themselves to my children on a daily basis.  My boys go to school and so this means that they see and hear a lot.  Think of the children that come to school and talk about the things that they see at home. Then there are the teachers with their thoughts and opinions.  While teaching my boys, I’m sure that their opinions are injected at times.

Then there are the things that present themselves through various types of media…tv, radio, movies, books, video games, internet, ect..

As parents we are the filters that stand between our children and the content.  We get to inspect and decide if the content is of a quality that we wish for our children to be exposed to.

I don’t want my children to be like ostriches that have to stick their heads in the sand, but I want to present them with wholesome options for entertainment.

We are training them and preparing them for their lives outside of our homes.  What we allow to infiltrate the small minds today, will take up residence in their adult minds later on in life.

So, it a must that the content that my children take in, line up with the things that we believe and teach in our homes.  As they grow older, we expose them to certain things and explain the various concepts to them.  We have to help their minds develop in a healthy way.  We don’t allow the world to train our children because the world won’t always tell the truth, especially when there is money involved.

Our children may not understand now, but one day they will. It isn’t an easy job to do, but I am honored that it’s mine and I’m proud to be their filter.

Today it is my prayer that God would help my husband and I to train up our children in the way that they should go, so that when they are old they will not depart from it.  In Jesus’ name. ~Amen

What do you think of this topic?  Do you find yourself being a filter for your children or do you allow them to be their own filter? Share your thoughts on this topic…

 

Purpose…

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This morning I sat down to write out my to do list. I decided to stop for a moment and think about the reason why.

“Why am I doing all of this?” I asked myself.

I don’t know if you are anything like me, but I have to have purpose in all that I do or else it becomes mundane and vain.

As I thought, I reached for one of my favorite books. “A Book of Prayer” by Stormie Omartian.

I prayed this guided prayer.

Lord give me a vision for my life.  I put my identity in You and my destiny in Your hands.  Show me if what I am doing now is what I am supposed to be doing.  I want what You are building in my life to last for eternity.  I know that all things work together for good to those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28).  I pray that You would show me clearly what the gifts and talents are that You have placed in me.  Lead me in the way I should go as I grow in them.  Enable me to use them according to Your will and for Your glory.

With purpose, I made my to-do list.  With confidence, I carry out my tasks.  I know that I am called to great things and being a mother and a wife are two of them.

Hold Up…

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I don’t know about you, but with the new year beginning, I have a ton of things that I want and need to get done. I have to go grocery shopping, exchange/return a gift for someone, pick up a new calendar, and much more.

Although I have to do all of these things, it seems that I won’t be doing them the way that I planned today. Why?
What’s the hold up?

My baby is a bit cranky and teething…

She is normally smiling and very calm. However this teething, like with all babies, has changed her temperament.

I haven’t been a working mom in a very long time, but as a stay at home mom, we get a bit off schedule when one of my kids isn’t feeling well. So, we have to take things a bit slower today. That may be a good thing. As you see, I had a list of things to do today.

I tried everything this morning to make her feel better. No matter what I did, she just looked at me. But that’s what happens when kids begin teething.

One of my friends went through something similar. Her son was teething and the doctors thought he was having an upper respiratory issue. They put the baby through all sorts of tests. Nothing solved the issue until she gave him some teething tablets.

I remember feeling concerned about my first son when he began teething. He had diarrhea, a fever, a runny nose, and he cried a lot. My mother inlaw told me to get him some teething tablets, Humphries, and that cleared up most of the symptoms.

I’m just going to wait for a while before I head out. My baby needs some rest. It must be hard producing teeth.

Do you remember what it was like having a teething baby? What did you do to help the baby cope?

My Job

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I have a friend that is trying to decide what she wants to do right now.  She is trying to figure out if she wants to be a stay at home mom or if she wants to go to work outside of the home.  This inspired me because I have found that working outside of the home right now would mean working two jobs, for me.  Now some people may not agree with me, but I don’t sit at home twiddling my thumbs everyday.  There is a lot of work to do around here.  Did I mention that there are six of us?  That means that there is a never ending load of laundry here.  There are always dishes to wash, food to cook, diapers to change, and a person that needs some sort of help with something.

For me, at this stage in my mothering, to work outside of the home would be draining.  One of my jobs would suffer.  It would either be my family and home, or my job outside of the house.

 When my time comes to work outside of the home, my kids will be older and I will be able to handle the load of both responsibilities.  I think that will be when all of my children are in school.  I know many women can do it and they do it everyday, but I feel it is beyond what I can handle right now.  I want to give my family my best and this is how I do it.

To all of the mothers that do it outside of the house, may God bless and strengthen you.

To all of the mothers like me who do it inside of the house, my prayer is the same. May God bless and strengthen you.

To the mothers that are in the process of deciding, may God help you to make a wise decision as you contemplate the two.

We all need prayer, patience, and a bit more wisdom.