There are times where you know where you fit it. Then there are times when you don’t.
This weekend I spent some time looking at the world, my life, and ministry.
As I looked and thought, I wondered where I fit in. I started thinking about the big picture and how God wants to use me.
God has placed, in each one of us, gifts and talents. He has given us to our families, friends, ministries, and the world. Yet, we cannot do it all, all of the time.
I say this because there are times, when I want to do it all and be all to all people, but truth be told, that is now wise nor possible.
I have to look at the things that are going on in my life and be prayerful about how God desires for me to be productive in a situation.
All of this thinking, for a short time, caused me to feel like I had no place. I saw myself as a speck of sand on a beach full of sand…where did I fit in and what was the point.
I saw all of the problems of the world and wanted to be a part of the solutions. I saw all of the pain and wanted to be a part of the healing. I wanted to be a help…
Here’s what I mean…
I don’t just want to be a replica of some other mother, wife, woman…I want to be who God created me to be. In all of my uniqueness…and I am very unique and still I am commonly, uncommon…I stand out in various ways that are not always comfortable. This caused me to ask…should I be. Should I stand out because I am just like the others or should I be comfortable being uncomfortable because I stand out as me…just the way God created me to be.
I hope this makes sense because I am not trying to confuse you.
I want you to know, as I am realizing, that God has called each one of us to be very different in this world. We may have certain qualities or circumstances that are similar to our sisters in Christ, or even have some stories that the other women in the world may relate to, but we are not supposed to look like, sound like, and dress like them.
Our identity must rest in Christ. This must be our resting place…a place of comfort.
As I thought of these things, I felt inadequate…as if I could not handle those things that God has brought me to handle. I had, for a brief moment lost my sight. I could not see where I fit in…
But God…
As I thought…I contemplated…I read my Bible…I prayed…I waited…and I prayed some more…
He reminded me that I fit in Him. He is my source and my purpose. He is the reason why I am alive and my reason for being. I had to stop thinking on how big the world was and all that was going on in it and focus on how great my God is. Realizing His awesomeness, allowed me to grasp hold of his purpose for me…
In this I rested…
As I rested, it was revealed.
Perfectionism, is not the way to go.
Being like everyone else is not the way to go.
Being recommended or recognized…even honored, are not the ways to go.
The way to go is by His grace, as I trust His leading…
In that moment, as I dwelled on Him…I was at peace. I could see that none of my own expectations or the expectations of the world may add up, but His will…would.
In this…I found peace.
I realized, through His revelation that all of the things that He reveals to me through various avenues, He will put to use, in time…
What He gives me to use, when He gives me to use it..can be utilized, as long as I trust in Him…
In this, I heard His voice…
Calling me to listen harder and pay attention amongst all of the noise…
In this…I found my place in all of this
