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On This Day

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Today is Thanksgiving…there is a lot to be thankful for. Like many people we will be sitting down to a table filled with food and saying that we are thankful for family and friends. There is another aspect of my Thanksgiving that I want to write about right now, my school work.

I am five days away from completing my degree. It was just a year ago that I was filling out my application to continue my education. Now here I am, just 5 days away from finishing. In four days the bulk of my work has to be submitted and then on Monday and Tuesday I have to submit a few papers. I am really excited, but it really just hit me. I’m not nervous, but this Thanksgiving will be very different for me. We are going to a friend of my husband’s house for Thanksgiving. The great thing is that I can focus on my work, we’ll kinda. I don’t want to be rude and I will definitely talk and have fun, but I’m bringing my books, my ipad, and my laptop.

I am praying that God would help me complete all of my work on time. I am really excited about closing this chapter of my life and moving on to the next. Last night, I had a dream that I was in a classroom with a bunch of other students. We were all working on a project and then the professor or teacher, announced that there was a job opening on the staff. They were looking for a new teacher/professor. I could feel myself get excited. I raised my hand, to let him know that I was interested. Before I could see what was happening, I woke up to the sound of Leo barking because he wanted to go outside. Got to love Leo. I do…

That was a really great dream. I am super excited! I know, I’ve said that already, but I am. I have been working on my degree for a long time. I’ve been back and forth between degrees as I worked on my double major. Then finally when we moved to Utah, I decided to simplify it into one degree. Now I am finished, well almost.

The amount of work that I have to do is a lot, but I am going to give it my all and finish it up. No procrastinating or waiting until the right moment to read or work on the papers. The time is now! Then I’ll get to eat some great food and meet some nice people. I do look forward to the activities of this day.

Real Friends

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Today I was  on the phone with a friend.  Not a person that just sits and listens, but a real friend that talks back.  She knows me.  She knows how I think and often times what I’m going to say.  She is married and a mother of multiple children, just like me.  She normally understands my struggles and my triumphs.  When we got off the phone, I was refreshed as always, when I speak to her.  Our conversation got me to thinking of what a real friend is.

There are a few things about her that I know are qualities of my other good friend…

They listen to me

They talk to me about the good and the bad

They call me on my mess because they love me and are honest

They pray for me

They tell me what the word of God says about my situation

They know when something is wrong and try to do something about it

They are trustworthy

Neither distance  nor time  separates us

Now this is not the full list of qualities of a real friend, but the truth is that with real friendships, both parties prosper. Real friends are those people who are willing to invest in you.  They invest whatever they have to give.  Even if the only thing they have is their heart. (And what a great investment…) When you are married, you husband knows who your real friends are…even if you don’t know yet.  I know my husband does.

I have felt alone at times, but I know it was for the purposes that God has planned ahead of time.  Those times have been for me to grow closer to Him and to grow as a woman, but I also know that my real friends have been sitting in the background praying for me.

Thank God for real friends…

Realizing That I Miss Him

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For the past year, I have been on this wild roller coaster ride of emotions. I have been happy, sad, emotional, tired, and a times I felt hopeless. Now when I think about these things, I am a bit disappointed in myself because I have such a great God who has made such great promises and kept, that I should never feel hopeless, but I did.

“I think an unhappy Christian is an oxymoron. It shouldn’t even be in the same sentence.” ~Joyce Meyer

The truth is that the past year has been really hard. My family and I moved away from all that we knew, besides each other and God. We’ve had to adjust to a new state and way of life. We have been blessed in so many ways by God, but at times the adjusting period was hard. Now, I have not hated life, but I have found myself in a couple tight corners that I could not see my way out of, but God is faithful. He helped me each and every time to come out.

In the past year I have forgotten who I am and who God created me to be. I would even dare to say that I have, at times forgotten how big, strong, powerful , faithful, and loving my God truly is…and because of that I have not exactly enjoyed the rollercoaster of life. I have hidden myself at times because of fear of rejection or even fear of being misunderstood. Yet, like the word of God says, all things work together for our good…so, now I look back and I see that there was a reason for my unhappiness. There was a reason why I was unsatisfied with life. There was a reason why I had forgotten. I had done all that I could do to stay positive, to smile, and look happy, but the truth is that I was in and out of happiness. I could not understand why before, but a few weeks ago, it was brought to my attention that I missed God. I didn’t realize how much I missed Him because I had filled my life with all the things I had to do and the places I had to be. The woman I had to be, consumed my time and, like a busy spouse, I was too busy to realize how much I missed Him.

Missing God, meant that although I talked to Him sometimes, the amount of time that He longed to spend with me and that I used to spend with Him wasn’t there anymore. There were times when I did other things instead of spending time with Him.

Picture this…

A husband works long and hard shifts. He leaves home every morning and kisses his wife goodbye. He tells her he loves her and then walks out the door. He doesn’t have time to stop and embrace her nor look in her eyes and say something sweet because he’s on a schedule and has to go. He comes home every night and lays down in the bed with her as he watches his favorite program on tv. They say goodnight, roll over, and go to bed. They never go on a date or do anything alone, without the children. This same cycle continues day after day as the husband works hard, everyday, doing what he feels needs to be done to take care of his family, but what he doesn’t realize is that his wife misses him. She misses the time that he would take to look into her eyes as he said “I love you.” She misses the way that he used to pull her close at different times of their day and kiss her on her forehead, cheek, or hand. She misses the text messages during the day that were simply to say, “I thought about you.” She misses the nights when they would sit and talk and he would ask her what she thought about things…and actually listen for an answer. He didn’t realize how much she missed him because she didn’t say it. She understood how much he had to do at work and what it took for him to accomplish those things. She knew how focused he was on what he was doing. She knew how busy he was and she stayed by his side because she loves him. He could not and would not see how much she missed him until she backed up a little and gave him the space that he demanded. Although she continued to love him, cook dinner, wash clothes, greet him at the door, kiss him goodnight, watch tv with him, and have small surface conversations with him. She remained committed and faithful, but she backed up a bit. When he began to miss her embrace, her kiss, her text messages, he realized that something was wrong. Not terribly wrong, but wrong. His wife missed him and he missed her…now something needed to be done.

This is how it is with God. He remains in our lives because He loves us. He is committed and faithful. He’s there when we need to talk and when we need guidance, but like the wife, He longs for…intimacy. When we become to busy or too preoccupied with life, He doesn’t decide to forsake us or leave us. Instead he backs up a little and gives us the space that we have asked for and declared that we need, with our actions, but He misses us. It’s not until we begin to feel a void, within ourselves, that we miss Him.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. ~James 4:8

This tells us that there is a time when God backs away, just a little, because we have told Him in some way that we need space. Much like the husband, once we realize what is happening, we are a bit shocked because it didn’t seem to be such an issue before, but with the process occurring over and over again, intimacy is lost and the issue is, well an issue that needs to be fixed.

Today I listened to a podcast by Joyce Meyer and was reminded of what it takes to maintain a relationship with God. I was reminded of what I was missing and I knew ,know I want Him in my life constantly. I want to have an intimate relationship with God because He is the source of my joy. Happiness is dependent upon what happens in my life and the way that I see it, but real joy will last because He is the source. I can look at life through a different perspective when I have spent quality time with God and be happy and full of joy.

With realizing that I miss Him and the He misses me, I commit to spending more time with Him. Time talking, being honest, listening, and enjoying His presence. The intimacy that I have with God cannot be replaced. It’s helps me to be a better mom, wife, friend, and woman.

…And today I smile…for real!

Heart Breaks of Sandy: A Heart to Help

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Hurricane Sandy took place last week. The aftermath of the disaster is still affecting tons of Americans. When watching the news, I can’t help but to feel compassionate for the people that have lost everything. Many of them have no where to go. Others are walking around cold and hungry.

As I watch the news, I wish that I had so much more to give. It would be nice if I had homes to give away or food to feed everyone. I’ve realized that I want to do something. Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop wishing and do something.

I enjoy knitting and crocheting. I am going to take yarn that I have in my stash and make some hats, scarves, gloves, and fingerless gloves. Then I’m going to send them to my aunt in New York so that she can give them out to people in need. She told me that she is going to hand them out to the kids at school as well.

I was reminded yesterday that there is a lot that one individual can do in the world to make a difference. It may not seem like a lot, but the truth is that everything starts with one person. I am choosing to do what I can for the people that I am thinking of. The gifts and talents that I have could really help some people. Can you feel my excitement?!

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Not Invited…

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There are times in life that we will have to make decisions.  We will have to take a stand and even say no.  With this we must understand that our opinions won’t always be accepted.  Everyone won’t want to be sour friends and sometimes we just won’t be invited to the party.

That being said, I am sitting here right now and I know that there is a birthday party/ semi-celebration taking place a couple of doors down.  My son found out and got upset.  I had to help him understand that we won’t always be invited.  What a hard lesson for a kid to learn.  Learning this is not easy.  As children, adults…people, we all want to get along with others.  We actually want the whole world to love us, but the reality is that some people won’t like us.  Some people won’t want to be around us.  Especially if we are upholding a standard.

Now that is something that we do.  There are a few issues that I have had to talk to this other mother about.  If I were anything like her, my children would be over there uninvited, but I’m not.  I am teaching my kids manners and it’s hard some times, but they are also learning to respect other people.

The truth is that I would rather be here in my house with my kids than in another’s house, that doesn’t believe the same things that we believe.  If we were there, I’m sure that my children would be exposed to things that are against God, our beliefs, and our lifestyles.  Life is just like that sometimes.  Sometimes things seem unfair, but it is the best thing for us.  This is what’s best for us…its ok, even good, that we’re not invited.

What About Halloween? More information

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For the past couple of days, I have had a lot going on. I want to make sure that I put the information that I promised out. Since tomorrow is Halloween, I wanted to get right to it. I could easily spend many words explaining why I don’t celebrate Halloween, but I have decided to allow someone else do the explaining. This article is very thoroughly written. The writer is able to drive the point home so much better than I am. Here is the link to The Dark Side of Halloween.  I hope you find this article helpful and that you make a very important decision for both yourself and your family.