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Encouraging Myself

Am I Enough?

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I’m not sure if I’m the only mom that thinks this way, but with my fourth baby on the way, I find that I keep asking myself…”Am I enough?”

It’s not that I feel like a bad mother or anything, but there are times when I wonder if I am fully equipped to raise my four children. I thank God that I am not doing it alone. I have my wonderful husband walking alongside me as we bring up these four children.

I think part of my thinking this morning comes from watching too much Law and Order yesterday. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a show, but yesterday there was some sort of marathon on. Since I wasn’t feeling very well, I laid in my bed and watched the T.V.

With each episode, came another devastating situation. With some I wondered what could be done, but with others I asked…how could they? I’m not sure how many I watched, but the various topics got me thinking about life and the consequences of wrong doings. I could go through all the topics, but I’m not. Truthfully, I remember why I stopped watching the show on a regular basis.

Watching the show, yesterday, helped me to see that there are things that we as parents tend to project on to our children. Whether good or bad, these projections affect our children and the adults that they become.

It is my aspiration to raise my children to be responsible, respectable, and reasonable adults. I want to be proud of them, but I also want them to be proud of themselves.

So…back to my question…Am I enough?

Like the cup of juice in the photo, there is a certain amount of juice in it, but it’s up to the observer and their perspective to determine whether the glass is half empty or half full. I am choosing to look at my life and skills that I have been equipped with as…equipped. With that piece of knowledge I don’t stop equipping myself with the tools that I need to continue to improve as a mother an wife, but I am equipped for the time.

I have to remind myself that God would not put more on me that I can bear and these four children are gifts from Him. He must have seen in me what I could not fully see yet, but still chose to make me a mother of four.

I’m not sure what makes good moms go bad or do bad things to their children, but I know that I trust the moral compass and Holy Spirit within me. I will continue to read, study,research, and enquire about the different parenting techniques of raising healthy children. I won’t simply seek the teachings of the world, but that of the Bible because I know that the world is constantly changing its mind, but the Bible remains the same and so does God. As I grow and learn as an individual, it is my prayer that I will continue to be enough for my children.

If you are feeling the same way, I would encourage you to do an evaluation of yourself and then measure yourself through the word of God. If there are any ways in which you believe that you need to improve, ask God for the help. Seek the tools and answers to become better and move forward.

The more we work on being healthy people, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically, the better parents we become for our children. In essence our becoming, becomes enough for them.

When Loving Is Hard To Do

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Let me start off by saying that I have not thought this post through. I am just writing because I feel like it. I have no idea where I’m going or how this will end. What I do know is that I feel this.

There are times in life when things just don’t make much sense. The events that occur are not pretty or pleasant, but they happen. When that time comes, we are faced with a serious decision…

How to handle it?

Seriously…I feel like tht question has slapped me in that face. How will I continue to be myself and love those I love without changing. Some people change in the midst of making this decision. They become harsh and mean. Some become arrogant and prideful. Others become so broken by the situation that their life is drastically affected, by the event and the decision.

I know that God loves us even when we are wrong. Yet, He does not turn a blind eye to our sin. He sees it for what it is and deals with us accordingly, but with mercy. This is how He loves us. Our prayers may be hindered, we may have to walk through some hard places, but the truth is that it could all be over quicker that a twinkle of an eye. That all depends on us. All God is waiting on to meet us, help us, and forgive us is repentance. If we decide that we are beyond repentance, He take a few steps back because the Bible says that sin effects people in steps. The ultimate step is death. He longsfor us to live abundant lives and to continually be connected to Him, but the choice is ours.

I said all that to say, God never changes and since God is love, I want to love they way that He loves. There is no magic formula as to how to love someone when it gets hard besides, love like He loves. With this knowledge, I have chosen to seek Him about my current situation. I have to understand how to love someone that has hurt me without destroying who they are or becoming someone else, myself. I want to imitate God and love the way He does. I just see His way as freeing to both the lover and the lovee.

I am almost positive that this will not be easy. I kinda think this is going to take a while. With the little inlking that I have, I pray for the dedication to remain loving throughout this whole process. I realize that this is natural…sometimes loving is hard to do

Course Update…

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On Saturday, I wrote a post about encouraging myself to finish a course quickly.  I finished another course, but not the one that I mentioned in that post.  In fact, I read all day.  I didn’t have the energy or the strength to complete all of the assignments.  My husband had to drill, so the kids and I were here as I tried to accomplish that feat.  I think sometimes I expect too much from myself.  I often times forget that I’m human… 🙂  I try to think that I can do it all.  Then slowly, I am brought back to reality and shown that there is only so much that I can do.

Yes I admit it, my body gets tired and so does my mind at times.  For this reason, I didn’t finish the class by Sunday, but my professor gave me more time.  The Lord knows that I needed that.  Now I’m finishing up the book that I had to read for my final paper and I’ll be working on it all this week.  I’m trying to stay encouraged.  School has been one of the hardest struggles of my life, but I’m doing it.  I have a goal and I will accomplish it.  The time frame may be moved forward or backward, but I still have the goal in my sight and I giving it my all.

Well, that’s my update…

Getting to It Now

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I was feeling a little stuck. Now that I’m unstuck, I’m posting this to put myself on blast. That way I have to finish my work. I’ll be back once I get done to do an update…here goes nothing. I mean everything I’ve got. 🙂

Reminding Myself

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There are times when I am going through things and I just feel…some kinda way. Those are times when I have to encourage and remind myself of the truth. The first truth that I am reminding myself of today is this…love never fails. And just n case I almost forget, I’ve added it to my screensaver.

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It is so easy to forget sometimes. I want to do things my way at times and treat others the way that they have treated me. You know all the pain and the time spent crying can feel really horrible, but then I have to remember that love endures. That makes me question my motives and…my heart. Am I only thinking of myself in the situation or is this about the ones that I love.

The truth is that I have to continue to think on and remind myself of these things so that I can become better at loving those that God has given me to love.

This can even be true with my kids. After a long stressful day, I’m tired and ready to go to bed. Sometimes they are not. They want to sit and talk or cuddles and play. When your tired, it’s hard to have fun. Well, I know it is for me, but I have to give them what they need. When my oldest has been at school all day and needs his mama, I have to muster up the energy and give him what he needs. For a moment that is hard, but God has equipped me for that very moment. Within seconds , he smiles and I’m not tired anymore. I have a burst of energy because I see and understand what the love that I have for him does to him.

This same frame of mind has to be used when it comes to my husband, mother, father, friends, siblings, cousins…you get the picture.

Truthfully, I just have to remind myself of the effect that love has on people. It’s not always about me being loved. Instead it’s about me loving. With a warm heart I love when it’s easy and…when it’s hard.

Bringing Up Children

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Have you ever thought about what it takes to bring up children? How are parents supposed to help children become responsible educated adults?  Have you ever wondered what kind of time and effort it would require or the amount of commitment that it would take?

The truth is that not to many people do.  Many people may even say, “There’s nothing to it, but to do it. Right?!”

WRONG!!!

That’s right!  I used all capital letters and three exclamation points.  I want you to think about this.  There is more to it than just doing it.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  ~Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child.  Think about training and all that goes into it on the part of the trainer and the trainee.  That means that a lot of hard work, preparation, educating, correcting, and patience will be needed.  Now, that is a lot to be required of parents, but there is more that will be needed.  Parents have to be willing to make choices and to stand behind them.  They have to teach their children right from wrong and be willing to discipline them when they are wrong.  With all of that, there is more…

The world will come up against everything that a parent attempts to instill in a child.  Here are a few examples of what parents will encounter:

Parent:  “Wear you coat.”

Child:  “I don’t want to wear my coat.  Bobby, Susan, and Jane don’t have their coats on.”

Parent: “I’m not their mother.

At this point the parent will have to decide what to do.  Will the parent give in or stand behind the decision that was originally made.

Parent: “We don’t use that type of language!”

Child: “Why not?  I heard it on t.v…”

Parent: “Because it’s wrong and foul.”

Child: “But Jane talks like that all the time and her mother doesn’t say anything.”

The parent has to decide how to handle the situation.

Parents have to talk to their children about drinking, drugs, sex, friendships, faith, morals, and so much more.

It is our responsibility to teach and train our children.  When they leave our homes, they are supposed to be responsible, educated, morally good, adults.  If you are a Christian, like I am, then our children should also leave our homes filled with faith, knowing how to pray, and trust God in all situations.  They should not be afraid to make hard choices.  In fact they should expect to and realize that making those choices will change the lives of those around them.

Training up children is not easy, but it is an honorable job.  What the world wants for my children is not what is important to us.  Instead we focus in on what God wants for them.  As a mother, I teach them to be children that will one day grow into individuals of integrity who, by their lives, will  change the world around them, for the better.

So the next time you are confronted with making a hard decision as a parent, know that you are fully equipped to do so.  The decisions that you make for your children will determine who they become and who they will be when you are long gone.

It is a parent’s job to bring up their children…