There are times in life where we may feel rejected by family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, children, and even God. This is a feeling that so many people experience, but what we have to learn is how to overcome the rejection that we feel. It isn’t easy but its something that we have to do in order for us to live a healthy, happy life and to have good, healthy, happy relationships as well.
When rejection is something that a person normally faces, there is a tendecy for that same individual to expect rejecition in life. Actions of other people become signals that rejection is on its way. This feeling can also lead to fear of expression, openess, and honesty. A person doe snot fear these things alone, instead they fear the reproccusions of the things…rejection. If this is the truth, what is a person in this situation supposed to do?
After recognizing that this is an issue and the effects that it has on their life, the person must decide whether or not they are going to be committed to themself in overcoming the fear of rejection or even dealing rejection itself. See, this person has to say “overcoming this fear isn’t about anyone else, except me.” They must ask themself if they are willing to go through the process of overcoming. Are they willing to head to head in a boxing match with the challenges that they are going to face ahead? Are they commited to this for themself, only? Hopefully the answer is yes…If so…make the commitment.
A few weeks ago I decided that I was going to allow myself to feel how I feel and be honest about it. Not to be rude or just blunt, but to be honest. I would first be honest with myself and God about my feelings. Then I would, prayerfully, be honest with others. This commitment has led to freedom in so many ways that I could not have imagined. After having a long conversation with my best friend about it, I have realized that this fear of rejection has often shaped the way that I view things. This leads to the next step…
A person must be willing to recognize that although they may feel a certain way about things, their reality isn’t a complete picture of what is really happening. There are other perspectives to take into account and understand. Sometimes, the feeling of rejection, that comes from someones actions, is just another person’s way of setting up a boundary. They aren’t attempting to reject you, they are just setting a boundary or dealing with things in their own way.
There are people like myself, who express everything. In some form or fashion, I have to express my feelings and thoughts. Yet, there are other people who sit and contemplate on things. They take time away to reflect on matters of importance. What might seem like a push away could really be that particular person’s way of saying, “I need some time to think on this.” That can be really hard to understand. We all want to talk on the phone, hang out, or spend time with people, but when someone decides that they cannot do those things because they need time to reflect, and don’t communicate that to us, it can feel like a world of rejection. So, it’s very important to understand that what may feel like rejection, may be something totally different.
Now if the rejection is real, we must ask ourselves why this person is rejecting us. Are they really saying, “no, I don’t want you?” If so, that’s their choice, but don’t take that to mean that something is wrong with you. This person may be dealing with so many things in their life that this is what’s best for you and them. If you are feeling rejected for this reason, make sure that you find and understand your worth. Affirm yourself!!! Let you know that you are worth more than gold. Tell yourself how great you are and what your best attritues are. Make sure that you understand that it’s not you who is missing out, it’s the other person. This may seem crazy, but if you don’t love you, who will, besides God? This is apart of the commitment that you made. It is to help yourself overcome. You have to see that you are truly worth it and be willing to say and prove it, to you!
Now, I want to reinerate the fact that I am not saying that a person cannot feel rejected. I am simply saying that whether or not they are truly rejected may or may not be the case. Whether it is the case or not, this person has to decide not to react in away that rejects the other person in return. This way of acting only causes a person to feel the same way that you do and besides the selfish reasons, who would want that? We must learn to love others the way that we want to be loved and not to react to them with the same treatment that we have recieved. I once heard someone say, “How you treat someone is not a reflection of their character, it’s a reflection of yours.” We don’t should not treat other people with the amount of respect that they deserve. Instead we should treat them with the amount of respect that we would want to be treated. We honor them because we honor ourselves and the Lord.
Over time rejection will become less of an issue as we learn to be committed to ourselves in our emotions and communication with others, see things from the right perspective, and remain a person of integrity. I, personally, know that this is a challenge, but it is worth it.
