Woman, Wife, Mother
This week on Cultivating Life Wisdom Series, we are taking a look at God’s invitation to His people to come into the light and love wisdom. We learn about things that are important to God and a key concept that can be found throughout the Bible.
You will be challenged to accept God’s invitation. What will you choose?
Watch the video below and don’t forget to subscribe to my Youtube Channel for updates
Sometimes, while going through life, it is easy to feel burned out and overwhelmed. This is even more common when we haven’t spent the time necessary for rejuvenation, alone with God in His word or in prayer.
So many people say things like, “I don’t have time to read the Bible,” or “I don’t know how to pray.” However like anything else in life, we must invest in what we want.
Do you ever say these things?
If not, what do you say?
Do you take the time that you need to spend with God?
Do you want a better relationship with Him?
Do you want to hear His voice, for yourself?
Do you want to know His will and plans for you?
Do you want freedom from stress and peace of mind?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, the answer you desire is found in God and His word.
I encourage you to take some time to read the Bible.
Yes, it’s a big book, but you don’t have to read it all in one sitting. You could read it one chapter at a time. You could start at Genesis and just read.
I’m currently in a group and we are studying the Bible one chapter at a time. However, if you’ve never read the Bible, from cover to cover, I suggest that you start with reading the books of the Bible, first. If you feel like you could handle both, you could read and study it at the same time, but if the idea of this feels overwhelming, just pick one thing.
My suggestion is that you start out by reading the word, one chapter at a time and that you journal about your observations and thoughts. Write out how you could apply your readings to your life and situations. At the end of each journal, write out a prayer to the Lord, that was inspired by your readings.
Yes, if you journal a prayer, you are still praying. That’s actually how I got started praying. I’d sit and journal out my prayers. I was afraid that someone would hear me and I only wanted God to hear me, so I would journal. After building a relationship with Him and reading more of His word, I became more confident in my prayers. I started saying them out-loud, but I still journal prayers. The prayers that I would journal always started with “Dear God,” and ended with “In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
I encourage you to take the time to invest in your relationship with our Heavenly Father. You’ll feel more refreshed and encouraged than you ever have. He will rejuvenate you, while you are in His presence.
If you are dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, and frustration, this is the place to start. Enter into the presence of God and allow Him to fulfill your needs. You have a God sized hole inside of you that longs to be filled. You might be filling up on the wrong things, and that’s why you feel the way that you do. If you take the time to fill up on Him on a daily, and even throughout the day basis, you will find that your life will change. Your anxiety will go away. You won’t feel depressed. You will be less frustrated.
Think about it, but don’t just think about it. Do it. Invest the time necessary to build yourself up in the Lord, establish and continue a relationship with Him, and be strengthened through prayer.
This week, on Cultivating Life’s 3-5 minute video, be encouraged to pray in faith. We take a look at what Jesus said about prayer. We are encouraged not to doubt, but instead to tell the mountain to move, in faith.
Watch this video below and don’t forget to subscribe to my Youtube channel for more updates.
It’s been pretty busy on my end for the past few months, but that’s nothing new. I’ve spent a lot of time praying, seeking God, and writing. As I look at the world that we live in today, and continue to be prayerful, I realize that more women need to understand and receive the call of God on their lives. Not only do they need to receive the call, but they need to step up to the plate, with the bat in hand, ready to answer the call and hit the ball out of the park.
Did you like my analogy?! I really mean it though. So many women have forgotten the true call of God on their lives because they are too busy trying to be Super Woman. They are trying to do it all and be it all for everyone. They are wearing themselves out because they are all over the place, trying to accomplish every goal, and do every activity. At the end of the night, they are worn out, but they still can’t sleep because there is too much on their minds.
Can you relate to this woman?
If you do, I understand. I used to be right there with you. I just wanted to do what I had to do, and I really had a lot to do. I wasn’t sure what was God-given or Makeda given. I couldn’t stop going or moving, long enough to hear the Lord tell me the right direction to move in. I was working so hard, that I almost missed my call. Today, I know how to be busy doing the Lord’s work and being about my Father’s business.
I know you’re wondering what call I’m talking about, right?!
I’m talking about the call to be one of the Not So Average Superwomen that God has so graciously placed in the world.
You may not know who she is or why her call is so important, but after I explain it to you, you’ll see why I talking to you about this woman.
Titus 2: 3-5 says “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
In this, the admonishment and call are to the women of God. It is first, an admonishment, to the older women to make sure that they are living the way that God has called them to live. Then they are called to admonish the young women and teach them how to…
This implies that the older women had to first know how to do the thing that they are going to be admonishing the younger women to do. This is not a just talk of what to do, but an actual type of mentorship in how to do it.
Next the word is for the young women. They are called to make a difference, first, in their homes by loving their husbands, loving their children and being homemakers, and obedient to their own husbands. Second, it is to maintain their character in accordance to the word of God. They are admonished and called to be discreet and chaste so that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
Later on, the young women would become the older women, called to younger women and the cycle would continue. What’s important to notice here is that the women are first called to their homes and to their own personal development, before they are called to the world.
I think that today’s woman has it backwards. Many women are taking the time to help others and working outside the home, but are forgetting their commitment and call to their own families and personal development.
When we first work in our homes we are a support and pillar to our families. We establish an environment in the home that makes it a place of dwelling that they always want to come home to. Nurturing our relationship with God and our family also builds a strong foundation for the woman and understands her value, as she takes her place.
Look around at the broken world today and you will see that the place of women has not be fulfilled in the home, thus the family is missing a key member. Women have done great things for society, but they have also left the foundation of society empty, the home.
The call to be the Not So Average Superwoman is to lay hold of that calling once again and answer it with a “yes.” It is to be diligent to be different from the women of the world that only focus on building their positions and the facilities of the world. It is to stop trying to find your strength in yourself and other things, so that you can find your strength in God. It is to drop your cape at the door, so that you can put on the armor of God.
I know that this is a lot and it feels like a big challenge. You can see what I’m saying, but need more information. That’s what I’ve been busy doing. I’ve been putting together the book to help you with this. It’s called “Being Mrs. Mom the Not So Average Superwoman: Find Your Strength in God, Drop the Cape, and Put on the Armor of God.” I encourage you to get your copy today from Amazon, so that you can make sure to answer the call of God, today.
It’s the beginning of the week and there is a lot to get done. Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed with the mere thought of planning your week? Well, come with me, for less than five minutes, to think through the process and make sure that you no longer feel stressed when it comes getting it together.
Watch this video below. Make sure to leave a comment and take a moment to subscribe to my new YouTube Channel. I’ll be posting weekly videos to inspire and encourage you to take action and transform the way that you think. Let’s Cultivate Life, by looking at how you plan and execute your week.
Have you ever looked up to someone that inspired you?
If you are like the rest of us, then the answer is yes. You have been working hard, your whole entire life, aiming to emulate someone and at different seasons, for different reasons, and this person changes to a different character, frequently. What I mean by this is that depending on what you’re working on, or what the subject matter is, your inspiration can change.
I want to tell you something though. The person that you are looking to has someone that they look up to as well. They do the same thing that you are doing, search for inspiration. They struggle just like you struggle. They work hard, trying to figure out their next step too.
What you may not even realize is that in some situations, the very person that you are looking to for inspiration, is looking back at you. We live in a big world that has been brought down to size by social media, travel, and technology. You could be following someone on social media and they could be reading what your posting as well. There’s a good reason for this.
The truth is that no one has made it yet.
We all may feel like we have achieved something that we were aiming for, but we are not finished with the work that we are supposed to be doing on this earth. If we were, we would no longer need to be here. We each have a purpose to fulfill and we glean from one another the ways by which we can do this, but there is something that we do as humans, especially as women, that needs to stop.
We tend to think that we are at the bottom of the todempole and that we can’t help anyone. Well, I want to tell you something. That’s a lie.
The truth is that we each have been given a specific sphere of influence. You may not realize this, but you’ve been influencing people the whole time that you’ve been on this planet, even if you didn’t mean to do it.
I am honored to say that I’ve had people that I know and look up to come to me for advice. I’ve had business inspirations come to me for inspiration. What I have learned from this is that we are all doing our best. Even the person that has a million dollars is still looking for someone to inspire them as a parent. The person with the degree is looking for an inspiration in being creative. The woman with the business is trying to stay innovative and productive. She’s looking for someone to encourage her to stop procrastinating.
Why are you telling me this?
We’ll I’m glad that you asked. The answer is simple, but very important for you to know. I’m telling you this because I want you to stop living below your calling. I want you to stop hiding in the dark, running away, and holding back. I want you to realize that it is important for you to be yourself because there is no one else like you on this earth. Sure, we all have some similarities, but none of us are just a like; That’s because of our God given purposes.
More that I want you to know these things, God wants you to know them.
You have to stop trying to be someone else. The world needs you to be you.
I hope that you are having a good week. I’ve been thinking about you and your experiences. Not only have I been thinking about your experiences, but I’ve also been thinking about the effect that your experiences have had on you.
I’ve had some of my own…well, truthfully, my life has been jammed packed with experiences that left me spiritually wounded. At every step of the way, I had to pull through or else, I’d be numb to life and dead spiritually, maybe even naturally too.
When I’ve spoken to women in the past about how I have overcome, they often tell me that they think I’m strong, different, and somehow more blessed than they are. They believe that this is the reason why I have overcome as I have. Well, I beg to differ.
I mentioned, previously, that there are mechanisms built into us, as humans, by God, that cause us to heal and survive. The thing about this is that those mechanisms are only activated when necessary. If you have lived a life where you didn’t need to heal and survive on a constant basis, this process is new for your life’s ecosystem. You have to begin healing from every new injury, as they come. This is especially true of spiritual wounds, but even more so of wounds that transcend across the natural and spiritual boundary.
Recently, it has been made clear to the public that professional football players that have sustained head injuries for long periods, since childhood, have a layer of tissue that develops around their brain, as a protective mechanism. Because they have sustained numerous concussions, their brain is attempting to prepare for the lifestyle that they live, by developing a cushion. Although this is how the brain is attempting to protect itself, it also ends up causing a bit of brain damage, which is why we see football players involved in so many situations where they should have used better judgement. However, there may be a lack of ability to do so because of the current structure of their brain. Many doctors have overlooked their injuries, unaware of the trauma that was occurring during each and every football game.
When I was growing up, as an only child, I dealt with certain emotional hurts that caused me to develop ways of surviving. My mother was a single parent and, although I saw my father, I dealt with feeling rejected many times because of his absence from my home. There is more to this story, but what I want you to understand is that when you live with an injury, your brain, body, and spirit attempt to develop ways of making you immune to the injury. It develops cushions that buff the fall, so that the next time that you are injured, the pain isn’t so bad. That being said, that cushion can sometimes have a side effect.
For me, I was an emotional child. I wasn’t sure how to handle the things that were coming at me and causing me pain. I couldn’t figure out why everyone else had their father in the home, but I didn’t. Why did my mother and I experience such friction in our relationship. I understood that they both loved me, but as a child, I was an emotional wreck. I longed to just be happy, like all of my other friends, but no matter how hard I tried, I was hurt.
As I grew up and began to develop relationships with people outside of my home, I learned that all relationships are not traumatizing. I learned to trust and love, in spite of my fear, but I was still emotional. My wounds just kept opening up. I don’t know how I kept myself from crying in front of my friends, but on the inside, I was a mess. Then once my husband and I got married, my emotions were so jumbled up and confused. I had to figure out how to maintain my emotions and allow my heart to heal.
I really did not want to go through the process, but it was unavoidable. You can’t escape your healing process and make it out alive. You have to choose to heal in order to heal effectively.
As I started going through the process of healing, there were times when my pain was simply unbearable. I got to the point where I could literally feel the emotional pain in my chest, like a physical pain. I didn’t want to go through the process, but I really wanted to heal. I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to stop being afraid that I was not truly loved.
I dove in to fictional books, trying to run away from my problems and found that the problems where there too, they just had solutions of how they could be fixed. Every morning, I’d get up before my husband and my son. I’d go in to a room and give my heart to God. I’d sit down with my journal and discuss everything that was happening within me. With every stroke of the pen, I gave my problem, my pain, and my worries to the Lord. As I wrote, I began to process the injuries. I read my bible in search of the answers and day by day, I was healed a little bit more.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I now know that I was seeking God for strength.
Living broken, prepared me for a lifetime of healing. Some women don’t understand this because they didn’t grow up broken. Maybe you are one of those women. Maybe your brokenness happened when you hit a certain age and traumatized you. Maybe you were hurt at a young age, but blocked out the pain.
I think that’s the thing that you have to understand though, you can’t just decide that you aren’t going to feel the pain. Not feeling the pain tells your body that there is no need for healing. When you do that, the signals aren’t sent for the healing process to begin.
I couldn’t escape my pain. I almost always felt it. In some ways, my pain taught me that love is real, but so is pain, and we all feel it, but when we choose to feel and process it, we can overcome it.
Those women that tell me that I am somehow different, more blessed, stronger than they are have not walked with me through my weakest moments. They have not felt what I felt as I tried to stay alive emotionally. They have not known the need that I have had to stay alive daily as the words of another human being attempted to destroy me daily. Feeling rejected caused me to crave love and I knew, somehow that I could not survive without it.
I did not escape my process of healing because it was God-given. It was what kept me alive as I grew and matured. It was also what allowed me to see the pain of others and have compassion on them.
Well, as I was thinking about the next phase of this healing journey, I realized that there are going to be some of you, maybe even you, specifically, that will attempt to run out on the process. You might be thinking that you don’t need to do all of this. You might feel that you can just take steps 2 and on because all of this other stuff is just excessive and unnecessary.
I need you to understand that it’s not unnecessary, it is imperative to your well-being. You have to choose to go through the process. As you journal and think about what you experienced, you have to journal about the pain. Identifying what you experienced, will allow you to properly evaluate your needs.
Now, I’m not a doctor. I’m a woman who has been through some experiences that I’ve learned from. God has also brought me multiple women that have needed to heal and I’ve helped them through this process. Everyone’s process is different, you have to choose to follow God through the process.
When you understand how you feel and think about the things that I mentioned in my last post, then you can move on to the next step.
My childhood pain allowed me to be stronger as a woman, wife, and mother. Without my experiences, I believe that I would be a different woman. However, those experiences alone were not what made me who I am. I had to trust God, go through the process, and allow myself to heal. There are somethings that I’ve had to let go of. Yet there are others, that I have had to decided to give myself time to process .
So, ask yourself a few questions today, right now. Do you really want to heal? Are you willing to go through the process of healing? How bad could the pain really be? Do you believe that God is bigger that your pain? Do you believe that He is capable of healing you?
If you answer is yes, please make a committment to yourself and to the Lord to go through the healing the process. Decide that you are not going to avoid doing what is necessary to be healed.
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another step towards healing
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