Being Mrs. Mom™

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Feelings

Mom-Works, Mom-Student, or SAHM

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From the beginning as a mom we are faced with choices that we never had to seriously stare in the face. One of those choices is to work/go to school, or to stay home.

There are some that will tell us that the best thing to do is to stay home and there are others that will be adamant about us going to work. The truth of the matter is…

when it all balls down too it, it’s our choice as the mom

We as mothers have to decide what’s best for our families and for ourselves. I have had my moments when I’ve felt that it was best for me to stay home and others when I felt that it was best for men to go to school. Each of the times, besides this last one, I felt extreme pressure from the people around me to move I one way or another. These pressures at times, debilitated me. I became unable to perform in any capacity.

Laundry would not be done, food would not be cooked and other areas of my life would be lacking. Ive had to make my own decision. With noses flared and disappointed tones, my loved ones would tell me that I should go back to school, but I knew what the result would be. So I waited

Now that I am back in school, I’ve determined that my schooling will not suck the life out of me so that I cannot take care of my family.

If you want to know my opinion. What would I tell a mom that was facing this daunting dilemma? I’d tell her to be realistic about your desires and you abilities. Don’t overwhelm yourself or allow others to dictate what you should do. The fact is that some will look up to you and some will look down at you. Others will stare you straight in the face as I am and encourage you to be the best mom and woman that you can be whether you work or stay home. No matter what give it, mothering, all that you’ve got.

From Moving Day 1 to Day 2

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Today we began our moving process, with the movers that is. They were at the house and they were packing, which, I must say, I am so thankful for. The only thing was that although they were making progress, at times it didn’t feel like it. Now moving from day 1 into day 2, I am expecting that they will move at an even quicker speed and pack up the truck so that they can come to my new house and unload.

From yesterday to today, I realized how much I’ve enjoyed my house. I have enjoyed the space and the freedom that it offers my family. There are are so many options for us. My kids can watch tv in their own rooms or they can play outside in the back yard. They can be together as a family or they can have som personal “me” time.

The other thing that I enjoy about this house is…wait, you really are not going to believe it, but it’s my laundry room. I enjoy it so much that I have done multiple loads in there in the past two days and have spent a few hours in there listening to music and folding clothes. No, I’m not crazy. If you saw it, you’d stay in it longer as well.

So from day 1 to day 2, I still have an excitement and anticipation about the upcoming events and my family’s new space.

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Packing Up

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The movers are here and that are packing up my whole house. Can you tell that I am excited?! If you can’t tell, let me just say it now.

I am super excited to be moving!

One great thing is that I don’t have to pack myself. They are doing it all. From the top to the bottom, all the ins and outs, they pack it all. That makes me super happy. There enough to do and be concerned about when moving, that this makes it a little bit easier.

So I’ve been super quiet in here for the last week and now you know the reason. My family is transitioning. We’ve been living in this apartment long enough and now , we happily get to move into a house.

Oh joy!!!

So as I sit here on the couch reason for my Ernest Hemingway class, that I am so behind in, they pack all of our belongings and I am elated.

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I’m Just Going to Write…

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I am sitting here in my Utah apartment. It is 1:31 am and my eyes feel like they are about to shut at any moment now.

So, why an I still awake?

Why am I sitting here listening to the sound of my fingertips clonking down on the buttons of the keyboard?

Because, honestly, I simply enjoy writing…in this case typing.

There are times when there is so much going on in my head, that the sound of a fire truck passing by could not tune out my thoughts. I think about things all of the time. I’m not exactly sure that it’s a bad thing to think all of the time. 🙂 Still, the fact is that I do. I am always contemplating or analyzing or deciding…something.

Thus writing is a way to get all of those things that I am meditating on out of my head. It is a way to quiet the noise. I find it extremely relaxing. Even when I am not writing about anything in particular, but simply experiencing a stream of consciousness. I enjoy it. It is as the river of my thought flow that I feel as if I am taking in deep breaths of air…Selah

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Those are the moments when I feel God releasing me from the chains that have kept me bound, whatever chains they are…doesn’t matter. I feel His presence as I sit and I write…again…Selah

Yes, I had another moment and I absolutely loved it! To feel the words leaving my being and the presence of God all around me as I effortlessly do one of the things that I was created to do is splendid.

So, at 1:39 am, I have found my rest. I have taken a moment, well 7 of them, and experienced the peace of God in my life trough my writing.

I am glad that I decided to write.


Being Mom Blogs…

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When I wake up in the morning in Utah.  I still consider it to be a strange place.  Although I have lived here now for more than a couple of months, it still feels strange.  I haven’t exactly made friends and my life sometimes feels a little foreign.  These are the times when I really need to relate to someone else, another woman.  When I search for blogs that may allow me to connect with other women, I normally find ones that are so positive that they seem unreal.  I have been a mother for 10 years now and I know personally that everything isn’t always great.  No! They are not always horrible, but honestly it’s a wild roller coaster ride.

I originally started my blog with the intention of being honest about my life, but the more blogs I read by other mothers, the harder it became to be honest.  I really needed to do this, be honest.  Not for anyone else.  It was simply for me.  I was reading stories that sounded like the perfect pictures that accompanied their posts and I thought that my blog would stand out like a sore thumb in a way that I didn’t want it to.  I thought that I wouldn’t have any readers and that everyone would think that I was being extremely negative, when all I really wanted was an outlet to be honest and connect with other women like myself.

Well, that was a little over a year ago and now I need to blog more than ever.  My family’s life has changed in so many ways that sometimes its hard for all of us.  I normally enjoy writing and talking, but blogging is just different.  I know that my thoughts will be read and that someone may respond.  That is good for me because I want to converse about these things.  I just don’t always want to converse with my family, my mom, or  friends back home who just don’t understand.  I don’t want to post my every thought on Facebook for my mom and everyone else that I care about to see.  Yes, I know that my blog is public and that’s ok.  But the difference is that I’m not typing all of these things for the people that I know to read, I’m doing it for that same reason that a writer writes a book, because they have something to say and this is how they do it best.  This is a type of therapy for me and I know that other women feel the same.  So many blogs are created per day…blogging speaks for itself.

So, I have realized my needs and I have begun to look for blogs that are not overly negative, but that are realistic.  I want to read the stories of women like myself who don’t want to reveal all of their family problems, but who are not afraid of talking about somethings that are on their minds and in their hearts.  This morning I really needed this.  It was like being in group therapy.  Sometimes we as women, human beings, wives and mothers need to know that we are not alone.  I need to read, hear, or know, that I am not the only person dealing with anxiety in some areas of my life.  Yes, the Lord said that we should be anxious about anything, but as a human it’s hard and I strive to move past it, while I trust Him. I need to understand that I am not the only person dealing with relational issues with friends.  I need to grasp the fact that I’m not the only person that may not have a clean kitchen, right now.  I don’t want total negativity, but I do want realism.

I plan on cleaning my kitchen, making my relationships better, reading all of the books on my list, being the perfect mom and doing my best to be positive…but in the meantime, I’m going to give myself permission to feel and express what is really on my heart and mind.  If I don’t I may go crazy and nobody wants that. 🙂

So I have something to say to all of you moms out there that are being honest and still having integrity (allowing your family some privacy) on your blogs.  Thank you.  You help me accept myself as a woman.  You help me have the courage to be myself at all times.  You help me to see what reality is in my life.  You encourage me to be better as you strive to be better.  You encourage me not to fear the my emotions, but to realize that I feel them and find ways to deal with them.  You help me understand that no one is perfect.  Thank you so much for your courage, honesty, and the faith that you have in God to know that He will help you get through it all.

This is why I enjoy being a momblogger and reading other momblogs.

Until next time~


A Bit Satisfied

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Over the past couple of weeks, I have been very busy. Cleaning, cooking, taking care of my children, being a loving wife, and going to college have been my daily chores. Now when I say that, I don’t mean that I had to do each one of these things one day at a time. Instead, I’m saying that I had to do all of them in the same day. Many times it felt like I had to do them all at one time. Now, please know that I am not complaining. I am so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mother. I get to assist my husband in ways that I wouldn’t be able to if I were working right now. Not only that, but I get to be available whenever my children need me.

Now when I’m stressed, it doesn’t seem this way. It feels more like a trap and I’m stuck with so many responsibilities that I can’t breathe. Thank God for reality. Really!!! I’m not trapped, I’m extremely blessed.

Well, being a student has been really hard. There are times when I don’t want to do any work at all. I just want to sit and do life as usual. I have wondered how I would have time to read the books that are required of me and make sure that my family eats dinner. Honestly, I have not had to make sure that anything got done besides my school work. Once I stopped trying to do everything in my own strength, God empowered me, and everything moved smoothly.

For a while, I had fallen behind in my school work. I wasn’t sure how I was going to catch up, but my husband just told me to give it all that I had. He said that I should email my professors and submit the work. I am so thankful that I listened to that wise man of mine. I ended up getting really good grades in my classes. That is the story for last semester.

This semester was the same story, but with a little twist. Instead of being in two or three classes, I was in five. Yes, five. I didn’t think that my school would allow me to take that many at one time, but it happened. I scheduled my classes wrong and they overlapped. Honestly, I was extremely overwhelmed. The good news is that no matter how overwhelmed I was, God still took care of me and my family. Again I had to learn not to do things in my own strength, but to be honest with the Lord about that fact that I didn’t feel like I could do it, but that I was going to put my hand to the plow. I trusted that He would make it happen. Guess what?! He did.

Yesterday, I finished up two of my three classes. One of my good friends texted me with an encouraging note that she was praying for me to get my work submitted on time. It really helped me and I did. I got my work submitted by the deadline. It was like a breath of fresh air. On the way to this point, I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. No, everyone did not always eat at our scheduled dinner time and laundry wasn’t always folded and put away, but my husband still encouraged me to give it my all. As I did, he helped by washing laundry, dishes, and taking care of our children. I must say it again. Thank God for my wonderful husband!!!

That’s right! Now that I have completed that work, I am a bit satisfied. I am satisfied with my life, position, calling, duties, gifts, friends, family, and all the other blessings that I have. I guess it just took a little work for me to see things from the proper perspective. Well, not only work, but trust as well. I had to trust that God would give me all that I needed to get to where I needed to go.

I do have more work to do. The laundry continues, of course. Dinner needs to be cooked. Life does go on, but I’m perfectly fine with that.

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