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Woman, Wife, Mother

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One Moment

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On a normal bases there is so much for a mother to do. There the cooking and the cleaning. The tending and the mending. There are always things that have to be done. It can get a little bit overwhelming at times and that’s the truth. Yet I am also reminded that there is another truth. God will never put more on me than I can bare. Yes times may get hard and we may struggle, stumble and fall. Do you know what we must remember? There is someone readily available with outstretched arms to pick us up at any time.

It is so hard sometimes to remember that we are not alone, but it’s true. We are not alone in anything. There isn’t anywhere that we can go away from the presence of God. Now I don’t say that to sound cliche. Instead I say that a recognized truth in my own life. I have been through some hard times. Afraid to discuss them I hid and felt alone, but He was there. He was always tugging on me to take a minute to come to Him. I was kind of afraid. I had been hurt by so many people that I didn’t want Him to hurt me too. What I needed to realize was that He would never hurt me. In spite of all that I had ever heard from another individual, God isn’t like that.

He cherishes me. I am special to Him. He says that I am the apple of His eye. Do you know what that does to the life of an individual that feels like everything is falling apart? If not, I’ll tell you. It give them hope. It says that someone cares and that is important. There were times when I felt so small and wanted to give up, but He just won’t let me quit. What a loving God! He always finds a way to encourage me.

Today I want to encourage you to stop and realize that you are loved. You are not alone. If you need anything ask the One who can provide it. He is faithful. I can’t even count how many times He has helped me. There have been so many times where He would just tell me that He loves me. I know you may be wondering what I mean. But in my heart I would hear the sound of the Lord telling me that He loves me. The great thing is that He has enough love to share. He loves you too!

Not Easy, but I’m Gonna Try

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Its not easy…
It never has been.

When there are things to on my schedule, the first thing that I do is take care of my family. There isn’t anything wrong with that. The problem comes in when I have other things to do that are a little intimidating and I procrastinate. I start looking for other things to do. Not purposely, but it happens. I really want to do the really hard things. I really want to just “knock them out,” but the truth is, its not that easy.

When faced with a the hard tasks, I end up lagging behind because I am intimidated. They become extremely daunting. Here is the thing that puts the icing on the cake, the tasks aren’t that hard. The problem is that I have put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, that I can’t reach this goal.

Now this isn’t something that is abnormal for many people. I am just choosing to admit it openly. In the past I have wanted to deal with it privately, but I am realizing that it is something that many people deal with. I have found that mind mapping helps me a lot. I downloaded an app on my iPad that allows me to freely mind-map anything.

This school work isn’t going to kick my butt. The laundry isn’t going to knock me down. Any other task that I desire or need to do, will have to take a step back because I’m going to overcome this. I am going to take a deep breath, open my calendar, mind map, and get started. It doesn’t matter how long it takes me. The important thing is that I’m doing it.

I remember a time when I wasn’t like this. I had no problem with starting and finishing. I still had really high standards, but at that time life was a little bit different. At that time, I had one or two children. When my third child came, it became really hard for me to achieve my goals. It isn’t because of my child. Oh no! It’s because of the amount of things that I became responsible for over night. It has taken some time for me to regroup.

Little things are no longer an issue. What is an issue thought is my school work. I used to be an “A” student. I still am, but with an “A” comes tons of pressure from no one else, but me. I pressure myself so much, that it almost becomes impossible to complete my work. I received a graded paper from one of my professors recently. Now I am a senior in college working on a degree in English. Here I am waiting on a response. She tells me that my paper was good, but it should have been put together better. It was chopped to bits by her compute.r. I almost cried when I read it. I thought it was really good, but I guess she thought otherwise.

No, I don’t normally take the time to really express my thoughts here, but this is my site. I need to find a way to express myself in a way that is positive and progressive. This may be the last time I do it…well, we’ll see about that. I do know that I won’t be really intimate because it may be too much, but as a mom, honestly I need to do this…as a woman. It may seem like I’m rambling and I just might be, but I need to ramble for a bit. I have a paper to do and a discussion board to post. I am trying to get this out so it isn’t in my mind anymore.

Yes this is me, encouraging myself. It isn’t going to be easy. Nothing worth anything ever is…but I am going to give it all that I’ve got and pray for guidance and strength to get the job done…

You can do it too!

RigIt?!

(Photo from KAPPBOOM)

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Big Move, Big Opportunity…

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Less than a month ago I was in another state.  All of my belongings were tucked away in their own spaces and normal was something that my family had been used to for the past 6 years.  Today, the same cannot be said.  We are clear across the country in a western state, 1/3 of our belongings are still in boxes, and normal is something that we are creating now.

I must say that this is a beautiful place to live.  There is a constant scenery of the mountains in every direction that I turn.  The people who I meet here are very kind and friendly, which is always a plus.  As long as I’m here, I’ll never be able to say that I can’t find a store to shop in or that I need to order something online.  There are malls about 10 minutes away in all directions.  How exciting right?!  I’m looking forward to shopping for myself and my family…not to mention our new apartment.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to be walking into coming over here.  Now we didn’t just decide to pick up and move clear across the country.   No, this was a career move and what a move it is.  We thought that we could possibly move to New York, Massachusetts, Maryland, and other east coast states, but that wasn’t the case.  The good thing is that my husband and I welcomed the opportunity to venture into another land with high hopes and great expectation. I heard such wonderful things about this place, Utah.  I was told that I would love living here.  Many people told us that it is a very family oriented state with lots of things to do.  Since we are from the east coast we were curious to see what it was like living in the west. What no one failed to mention was the fact that it isn’t very diverse.  They would say things like, “It’s a great place to live, but you don’t see very many black people.”  Now that would have scared me if I came from a place where the black population was very high, like Georgia, perhaps.  Instead it just intrigued me.  I mean race isn’t really an issue for me.  My husband is Puerto Rican, my pastor back home was white, and I have friends of all different races and cultures. I wondered what type of adventure was awaiting me on this side of the US.  Now that we are here I am glad that I’m not the person that takes what everyone says to be gold.  We moved to a very nice place where, like I said earlier, the people are very nice and it is pretty diverse.  Although I am the only dark face that is seen in many of the places that we go, I am happy that God gave me an optimistic look on life.  I see such great potential for me and my family here.  We will be here for a couple of years and I plan to make the best out of it.

You know, it’s a blessing to be the way that I am.  Nothing gets in my way.  I think that there is good in everyone and there is always potential for greatness around the corner.  So what, there is only a 3% black population in this state and, yes, I am aware of the fact that the majority of the culture around here is Mormon.  I’m a Christian woman, who is ok with being different. I choose to stand out for Jesus, with a big heart and a smile.  I enjoy meeting people and hearing what they have to say.  I want to see more of Utah.  I want to learn of its culture and I a curious to find out why it’s people believe what they do. I enjoy history and this place is full of it.  I am excited because I am sure that God has something here for me and my family that we are not expecting.  I hope that the people who I come in contact with will get a taste of God’s love in an unforeseen way.

My house back home no longer has its family, but my apartment here has a new one.  I know that is a weird way of looking at things, but everything looks so bright and full of opportunity.

On another note, my children are not used to living in an apartment at all.  They are used to running and jumping and ring free…but that’s a post for another time.