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My Identity

Be You

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Over the years I have learned that it is in the moments when I least expect to have an impact on another person’s life that I actually do.

These are the moments when I’m not trying, struggling, or pushing for an impact.

I am just natural and being myself. Whether that is caring a lot, too much, or not caring at all…it doesn’t matter. Being myself in those moments seems to change everything.

It is because of this realization that I want to encourage you to be you.

God placed some really great things inside of you. He gave you the ingredients to impact someone’s life for His purpose.

By trying and striving, sometimes, we mess it all up. We have to just let go of being perfect and simply be out best by trusting God and living as the wonderful creations that He made us to be.

I know it may be hard to just trust yourself, but trust the Holy Spirit in you and know that if you allow God to do great things in you, you’ll impact the world around you.

So today, I encourage you to smile and be great! You never know, someone around you may need to see your smile.

Mommy Intergration

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Over the past couple of weeks I have found that the same topics are coming up in my conversations with other moms.  I am married with four children and I do a lot.

I blog, crochet, knit, sew, go to school, moderate various groups, and so much more.

I know!  That list doesn’t seem like a lot, but I kinda cut it short and used words to summarize my activities.

(I digress) 🙂

The point in saying all of this is that often times people think that because I have four children I have very little time to do much of anything else.

They say things like, “How do you find the time?” and “I don’t have four children and I can’t seem to get what I want done.”

Well, here are my thoughts on this.

First, let me say that I did not learn this over night.  It took a some time for me to get what I am about to share with you.

We have to learn to integrate what we love and what we do with who we are.

I get it…that seems confusing, but let me explain a bit.

You and I are both individuals that are very complex.  We aren’t as simple as the titles that we carry.

Simply put…you are not just a mother or a wife.  You are so much more.

You are the woman that God has created you to be.

The truth is that whether we accept it or not we are who we are.  Learning who we are is a great part of this process.

I had to learn who I am.  I had to learn what I like and what I don’t like.  I had to learn what makes me tick.  What makes me smile?   What helps & encourages me and what can stop me right in my path.

Again I say, this was a process.

I spent time looking at my life when it was consumed with only being a mother and a wife.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother and a wife, but without the “me” part, it can all become a bit robotic.

I learned that my family apprecieates my creative abilities and they take joy in watching me do what I do.

Hence the “Mommy Intergration.”  It is the act of incorperating mommy into my life and not the other way around.  I am first myself.  I am a woman that loves and serves God.  I am also a wife who loves her husband.  I am also a mother that loves her children.  Yet still, I am a woman that enjoys crafting, speaking, reaching out to others, and making a difference in this world. (Or at least trying to)

As I mother, I make time for the things that I enjoy.  I sit down to watch the television shows that I like and I allow my children to watch them with me.  (This being said, I don’t watch anything that doesn’t promote a healthy godly lifestyle) As my children watch television with me, they learn what its like to just be.  Not to be a mother, but to be themselves.

I do this same thing with crafting.  I allow my children to sit and watch or at times participate in my crafting activities.  This allows them to see that there is a creative side to who I am.  They also learn that there is a creative side to who they are as well.

I’m sure you see the pattern here.  I take time every month, every week, and everyday to do something that I love and enjoy.  I find a way to incorperate what I do with mothering. My children don’t always have to be napping for me to do what I enjoy.  They can sit with me as I do it.  We can talk about it.

As I do this daily, I find great fulfillment in my life.  I am constantly asking God to help me live a life that is fulfilling, pleasing to Him, and encouraging to others, including my children.

As my children see me living as me…not just mom…they learn who they are.

So, if you were to visit my home, you would find lots of singing, dancing, reading, crafting, cleaning, making a mess, playing, taking time out for self, making time for others, and just…well, being…

I hope that I was able to communicate my thoughts on this in a way that is understandable.  This is a topic that I have a lot of passion about, so I have so much more to say about it.  I just wanted to take a moment a speak on it.

Perhaps in the future I’ll write on it more.

I want to encourage you to find out who you are and to integrate your mommy-ing into your life.  I pray that your mothering experience will be as pleasurable as mine is.

Do you every think on this topic?  What are you thoughts, challenges, obstacles?  Have you found mommy integration an easy thing to do?  Leave a comment so we can discuss it.

What About Respect?

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I am at this place in my life right now where being a woman, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a cousin, a niece…whatever role I fit in is about the level of respect that I give and receive in return. In this place, being treated any kind of way is not acceptable. It all matters. I am even convinced that I feel this way because I don’t want anyone to disrespect my children. Yet how can I properly teach them boundaries and what it means to be respected if I have never truly made my boundaries known and had people respect me, the way I desire?

For years, I’d make excuses for the actions of others that hurt or changed my life in detrimental ways. I never held them accountable for their actions or wrong doings. Instead by making excuses, I simply excused them. Seeing and understanding this now, I am saddened. I can’t blame people for the way in which I allowed them to treat me. It was my responsibility to say that I had enough or felt disrespected. I believe I always felt that I needed some sort of validation from those people because of my lack of self acceptance.

Even now I deal with this, wondering what people will think. Will they think I’m right or wrong? Will they see my point or misunderstand me? We they see purpose in what I am saying or find me to be another voice speaking into the wind without an ear to listen.

I don’t know or understand my reason for feeling this way, but I plan to find out. I care about people but I want to be respected for who I am as well. I don’t want to demand that respect, but I believe that I, like all other individuals, actually deserve it as a human being.

My tendency is to feel that I will have to make someone respect me, but the truth is that I am not responsible for another individuals actions. This makes me wonder what God says about respect and how he defines it… I should look into it. Then I’ll know what He says.

 

The Way I See Myself

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Challenging myself to see me the way that God sees me.

Everyday, we are bombarded by images on the television and in the media of women that are flawless. Their faces have a perfect airbrushed magnificence to it. Mostly their hair is straight and falls properly in place. With all that I see, there is constantly a challenge to see myself the right way. There have been plenty of times that I have compared myself with those images. At those times, I found myself conforming to the images in the media. Not only did I conform on the outside, but I conformed on the inside as well. I am not proud of this fact, but it’s true. In all of this conforming to the world and finding my identity in it, I lost sight of who God created me to be.

“God, who created everything, created everyone-including you. You may look in the mirror and see flaws. But God designed every freckle, every wrinkly, every crinkle, and even numbered the hairs on your head (Luke 11:27). When He created you, he considered it “very good.” Do you?” ~True Identity Bible.

There is a certain way that He sees me. When He looks at me, He smiles. Since I was already created by Him, in the image of Christ, I need to make sure that I conform to that image because that is my true self. Now this is very hard, but I am definitely up for the challenge. It’s not about my hair or my makeup, but about my inner beauty and allowing it to be displayed on the outside.

Still the outer me does count. I want to make sure that when I look in the mirror, I see beauty. Not according to the world’s standards, but according to God’s. That being said, today, I challenge myself to see myself the way the creator sees me…as good, lovely, and beautiful. I choose to take my kinky curly hair and all of it’s tangles and call it beautiful. I choose to take my chocolate brown skin and all of its splendor and call it splendid. I choose to take my voice and the way that it sounds and call it lovely. I choose to take all of me, as I conform into the image of Christ, and call it good.

Your skin may not be the same color as mine, you hair may not be the same texture, and your voice may not be the same. We may not be the same height or weight, but I challenge you, as I have challenged myself, to call it all “good.” Find pictures of yourself and make a collage. Post it on your Facebook, twitter, instagram, the being mom 3 facebook page, post a comment, or do whatever you want to proclaim today that you are “good” because God create you that way. And remember to smile because its true, you really are…

 

The Way I See Myself

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20130102-093633.jpg
Challenging myself to see me the way that God sees me.

Everyday, we are bombarded by images on the television and in the media of women that are flawless. Their faces have a perfect airbrushed magnificence to it. Mostly their hair is straight and falls properly in place. With all that I see, there is constantly a challenge to see myself the right way. There have been plenty of times that I have compared myself with those images. At those times, I found myself conforming to the images in the media. Not only did I conform on the outside, but I conformed on the inside as well. I am not proud of this fact, but it’s true. In all of this conforming to the world and finding my identity in it, I lost sight of who God created me to be.

“God, who created everything, created everyone-including you. You may look in the mirror and see flaws. But God designed every freckle, every wrinkly, every crinkle, and even numbered the hairs on your head (Luke 11:27). When He created you, he considered it “very good.” Do you?” ~True Identity Bible.

There is a certain way that He sees me. When He looks at me, He smiles. Since I was already created by Him, in the image of Christ, I need to make sure that I conform to that image because that is my true self. Now this is very hard, but I am definitely up for the challenge. It’s not about my hair or my makeup, but about my inner beauty and allowing it to be displayed on the outside.

Still the outer me does count. I want to make sure that when I look in the mirror, I see beauty. Not according to the world’s standards, but according to God’s. That being said, today, I challenge myself to see myself the way the creator sees me…as good, lovely, and beautiful. I choose to take my kinky curly hair and all of it’s tangles and call it beautiful. I choose to take my chocolate brown skin and all of its splendor and call it splendid. I choose to take my voice and the way that it sounds and call it lovely. I choose to take all of me, as I conform into the image of Christ, and call it good.

Your skin may not be the same color as mine, you hair may not be the same texture, and your voice may not be the same. We may not be the same height or weight, but I challenge you, as I have challenged myself, to call it all “good.” Find pictures of yourself and make a collage. Post it on your Facebook, twitter, instagram, the being mom 3 facebook page, post a comment, or do whatever you want to proclaim today that you are “good” because God create you that way. And remember to smile because its true, you really are…