I am at this place in my life right now where being a woman, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, a cousin, a niece…whatever role I fit in is about the level of respect that I give and receive in return. In this place, being treated any kind of way is not acceptable. It all matters. I am even convinced that I feel this way because I don’t want anyone to disrespect my children. Yet how can I properly teach them boundaries and what it means to be respected if I have never truly made my boundaries known and had people respect me, the way I desire?
For years, I’d make excuses for the actions of others that hurt or changed my life in detrimental ways. I never held them accountable for their actions or wrong doings. Instead by making excuses, I simply excused them. Seeing and understanding this now, I am saddened. I can’t blame people for the way in which I allowed them to treat me. It was my responsibility to say that I had enough or felt disrespected. I believe I always felt that I needed some sort of validation from those people because of my lack of self acceptance.
Even now I deal with this, wondering what people will think. Will they think I’m right or wrong? Will they see my point or misunderstand me? We they see purpose in what I am saying or find me to be another voice speaking into the wind without an ear to listen.
I don’t know or understand my reason for feeling this way, but I plan to find out. I care about people but I want to be respected for who I am as well. I don’t want to demand that respect, but I believe that I, like all other individuals, actually deserve it as a human being.
My tendency is to feel that I will have to make someone respect me, but the truth is that I am not responsible for another individuals actions. This makes me wonder what God says about respect and how he defines it… I should look into it. Then I’ll know what He says.