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A New Season

October 25, 2014 By Mrs. Mom 2 Comments

The past two weeks have been a bit of a trying, yet enjoyable, time for me. There have been times when I have experience very high levels of stress and others when I have experience high levels of pleasure. If I had to sum it up, I would say it was like a wild roller coaster ride.

This summer my grandmother and great-grandmother passed away. After dealing with such great loss, my husband and I had decided that we needed to take a few days to get away. We took our kids to Hershey Park for one weekend. I must say, it was a needed mini vacation.

While there another family member and I, both having a small baby and had being under a lot of stress, decided to get on one of the most extreme rides at the park. It was about 20 minutes before the park was set to close, but we had been saying all day that we were going to get on one of those crazy rides.

It was dark and this ride was at the back corner of the park. We watched as a group of young people ran to the stairs ahead of us. In a moment of sheer excitement, we speed walked to the stairs. Once we got there we realized that we were about to do something very extreme.

Plastered all over the bright-colored walls were warning signs about what to and what not to do. This was different because other rides didn’t have this. The signs told us things like hold on, hold your head back, and keep your arms in. As I stood second in line, I looked away from a sign to see a man getting strapped in the seat. We begin to talk with a woman who was going on the ride for a second time. As she told us how fast it went, the ride took of and I could feel my nerves telling me not to try it. Before she could get to say three sentences and I could get to calm down, the man was back. That’s right it was a matter of seconds, or so it seemed.

Filled with adrenalin, I climbed into the seat. As I struggled to pull the harness down, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I looked over at my partner in the crazy endeavor and nervously smiled. Looking up at the caution signs, I held my head back and tried to remember what to and what not to do. I could hear my kids and my husband cheering me on…nervously I smiled. Then suddenly the ride took off.

I was slung through the air like a sling shot. All I would do was close my eyes and scream. I opened my eyes for a second and we were upside down. I closed them back and gripped the harness as I tried to keep my head pulled back. Up, down, and around I went, but before I could get my barring, the ride was over and I was laughing. Yes laughing. I could not believe what had just happened. What was I feeling? Well, really, what had I felt? It was over.

Full of the rush, we ran down the stairs as my husband looked at up puzzled at to how it was over so soon. He had just sat down to change the baby’s diaper and had not finished, but we were done.

That’s how life feels right now. A 72 mile per hour ride in just 2 seconds. There is no time to lolly gag. It’s either I’m with it or I’m not. I’ve been given such great opportunities, but I realize that if I’m not careful, time will fly by and I would have missed the experience and opportunity. That’s why I have given myself some ground rules.

It’s either I can or I can’t, no in betweens. I have to commit myself. If I find that I can’t complete the task in a certain about of time, then it’s time to pick up the pieces that I’ve dropped and move on. I have to hold on to the harness and enjoy the ride.

I don’t have time to strive aimlessly at achieving goals that don’t fit into my life plan or the path that God has laid before me. I will not take on more what I can not bear and somethings have to be cancelled.

I must admit, there are times when I’m afraid. There are moments when I’m intimidated, but God is greater that all of my emotions. I am in my new season, full of excitement and adrenaline. I’m nervous and last night I wanted to quit. Yet I can hear the Holy Spirit encouraging me and I have to continue to move forward. There is a lot to do and a lot of ground to cover, but like the ride, I am equipped to do the unthinkable as long as God is with me.

Confession #1

November 17, 2013 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

I have a confession.

I need to do this now.

I can’t keep it in any longer.

Here it goes…

No matter how much I like school, and I do like school…I don’t like to do the work.
I do it because I have to…and that in itself is a struggle.

Whew!!! That felt good!

Remaining Calm

June 4, 2012 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

Sometimes throughout the course of life, things happen and stress can come knocking at your door at any moment. Throughout the process of transitioning sometimes and dealing with people, things don’t always go as planned. Since I have moved to a new state, I have had to get used to the way that things are done around here. For instance, in North Carolina a child would have to be checked in to school by a parent. In Utah, well the school that my son attended that is, a child could check him or herself into school without an adult. There are other things that are not as structured that I have a problem with because I’m not used to them. Well, truthfully, it’ s not just because I haven’t gotten used to they yet It’s also because I understand that the reason for some of the policies that were in place in North Carolina, were for the safety and protection of the students. Things are a lot different out here.

Today I had a little trouble grasping the policies that are in place at my son’s school. I listened as that administrative assistant attempted to explain the procedure to me. It seemed the more she said, the less satisfied I was with the answer. The more she explained, the more I wanted to know how much the administration had fully thought through the policy. The rules and regulations of the policy didn’t affect the parents, facility, or administration. Instead they greatly affected the students. It seemed like another child would be left behind. I really contemplated taking the issue to the principal for further understanding and discussion, but then I realized that it probably wouldn’t have done any good because I was upset. This isn’t normally what I’d do. I would normally take the situation further and do what needed to be done in order to work out the situation, but I decided not to do that this time.

Sometimes, it’s hard to just let things go. When upset about a thing it is often easier to talk or think about it and then try to remedy the situation. This time it took a lot for me to just let the situation work itself out on its own. I decided to stay calm, rational, and ultimately…unresponsive. You may not understand the point in reacting this way, but this was just not worth it. If you knew the situation, you’d understand why, but more discussion of it isn’t even worth it right now. I guess I just needed to write it out. I had to get this off of my chest and this was how I decided to do it. So, what’s next???

Now we just remain calm and move forward.

A Bit Satisfied

June 2, 2012 By Mrs. Mom Leave a Comment

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been very busy. Cleaning, cooking, taking care of my children, being a loving wife, and going to college have been my daily chores. Now when I say that, I don’t mean that I had to do each one of these things one day at a time. Instead, I’m saying that I had to do all of them in the same day. Many times it felt like I had to do them all at one time. Now, please know that I am not complaining. I am so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mother. I get to assist my husband in ways that I wouldn’t be able to if I were working right now. Not only that, but I get to be available whenever my children need me.

Now when I’m stressed, it doesn’t seem this way. It feels more like a trap and I’m stuck with so many responsibilities that I can’t breathe. Thank God for reality. Really!!! I’m not trapped, I’m extremely blessed.

Well, being a student has been really hard. There are times when I don’t want to do any work at all. I just want to sit and do life as usual. I have wondered how I would have time to read the books that are required of me and make sure that my family eats dinner. Honestly, I have not had to make sure that anything got done besides my school work. Once I stopped trying to do everything in my own strength, God empowered me, and everything moved smoothly.

For a while, I had fallen behind in my school work. I wasn’t sure how I was going to catch up, but my husband just told me to give it all that I had. He said that I should email my professors and submit the work. I am so thankful that I listened to that wise man of mine. I ended up getting really good grades in my classes. That is the story for last semester.

This semester was the same story, but with a little twist. Instead of being in two or three classes, I was in five. Yes, five. I didn’t think that my school would allow me to take that many at one time, but it happened. I scheduled my classes wrong and they overlapped. Honestly, I was extremely overwhelmed. The good news is that no matter how overwhelmed I was, God still took care of me and my family. Again I had to learn not to do things in my own strength, but to be honest with the Lord about that fact that I didn’t feel like I could do it, but that I was going to put my hand to the plow. I trusted that He would make it happen. Guess what?! He did.

Yesterday, I finished up two of my three classes. One of my good friends texted me with an encouraging note that she was praying for me to get my work submitted on time. It really helped me and I did. I got my work submitted by the deadline. It was like a breath of fresh air. On the way to this point, I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. No, everyone did not always eat at our scheduled dinner time and laundry wasn’t always folded and put away, but my husband still encouraged me to give it my all. As I did, he helped by washing laundry, dishes, and taking care of our children. I must say it again. Thank God for my wonderful husband!!!

That’s right! Now that I have completed that work, I am a bit satisfied. I am satisfied with my life, position, calling, duties, gifts, friends, family, and all the other blessings that I have. I guess it just took a little work for me to see things from the proper perspective. Well, not only work, but trust as well. I had to trust that God would give me all that I needed to get to where I needed to go.

I do have more work to do. The laundry continues, of course. Dinner needs to be cooked. Life does go on, but I’m perfectly fine with that.

Staying On Task?

February 7, 2012 By Mrs. Mom 4 Comments

Making a schedule isn’t the easiest thing to do when you are a mother, wife, and a student. There are just to many variables. So, I sit down, plan it out, and start moving forward. I may or may not do exactly what the schedule says, because of the potty dance interruptions and the requests for scissors and glue, but I do my best.

Today was my second day back at school and my professors have given me a lot to do. I think they want to make sure that my every waking moment is filled with Literature and Language. I was up all night reading the syllabi and scheduling my tasks. Well, I tried to anyway. I was doing fine until about 2am when I could no longer function. I found myself looking at the planner and paper wondering what to do next. Finally, I went to bed.

This morning I knew I had school work so I did some house work before and my hair before I got started with my reading assignments.

Eventually,I sat down and began reading and although the story was very interesting, I was tired…so, I took a nap. I did get a lot of work done, but I have other things that I need to do in order to make sure that my family is on task. Thats the thing about being a mother. Staying on task isn’t just about me. Its about my whole family. I’ll make it work. I think I am going to try and apply a technique that I have been learning about. I am going to put my big rocks in first. That means that I am going to attack all of my important tasks first thing in the morning so that I have the energy do them instead of waiting until later on in the day when I’m tired. This should be very helpful.

Well, I’m off to the grocery store.

Not Easy, but I’m Gonna Try

January 16, 2012 By Mrs. Mom 4 Comments

Its not easy…
It never has been.

When there are things to on my schedule, the first thing that I do is take care of my family. There isn’t anything wrong with that. The problem comes in when I have other things to do that are a little intimidating and I procrastinate. I start looking for other things to do. Not purposely, but it happens. I really want to do the really hard things. I really want to just “knock them out,” but the truth is, its not that easy.

When faced with a the hard tasks, I end up lagging behind because I am intimidated. They become extremely daunting. Here is the thing that puts the icing on the cake, the tasks aren’t that hard. The problem is that I have put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, that I can’t reach this goal.

Now this isn’t something that is abnormal for many people. I am just choosing to admit it openly. In the past I have wanted to deal with it privately, but I am realizing that it is something that many people deal with. I have found that mind mapping helps me a lot. I downloaded an app on my iPad that allows me to freely mind-map anything.

This school work isn’t going to kick my butt. The laundry isn’t going to knock me down. Any other task that I desire or need to do, will have to take a step back because I’m going to overcome this. I am going to take a deep breath, open my calendar, mind map, and get started. It doesn’t matter how long it takes me. The important thing is that I’m doing it.

I remember a time when I wasn’t like this. I had no problem with starting and finishing. I still had really high standards, but at that time life was a little bit different. At that time, I had one or two children. When my third child came, it became really hard for me to achieve my goals. It isn’t because of my child. Oh no! It’s because of the amount of things that I became responsible for over night. It has taken some time for me to regroup.

Little things are no longer an issue. What is an issue thought is my school work. I used to be an “A” student. I still am, but with an “A” comes tons of pressure from no one else, but me. I pressure myself so much, that it almost becomes impossible to complete my work. I received a graded paper from one of my professors recently. Now I am a senior in college working on a degree in English. Here I am waiting on a response. She tells me that my paper was good, but it should have been put together better. It was chopped to bits by her compute.r. I almost cried when I read it. I thought it was really good, but I guess she thought otherwise.

No, I don’t normally take the time to really express my thoughts here, but this is my site. I need to find a way to express myself in a way that is positive and progressive. This may be the last time I do it…well, we’ll see about that. I do know that I won’t be really intimate because it may be too much, but as a mom, honestly I need to do this…as a woman. It may seem like I’m rambling and I just might be, but I need to ramble for a bit. I have a paper to do and a discussion board to post. I am trying to get this out so it isn’t in my mind anymore.

Yes this is me, encouraging myself. It isn’t going to be easy. Nothing worth anything ever is…but I am going to give it all that I’ve got and pray for guidance and strength to get the job done…

You can do it too!

RigIt?!

(Photo from KAPPBOOM)

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