Like This Tree I Too Will Be..
- I am a woman
- I am a mother
- I am a daughter
- I am a wife
- I am a sister
- I am a friend
- I am a writer
- I am a teacher
- I am a Christian
- I AM ENOUGH
That is what I am saying, but most of the times, I don’t feel like I am enough. I have to convince myself of this. Honestly…
Over the past year, when I started blogging, I have been confronted with an aspect of myself that I must have kept hidden for a long time…my humanity.
No, I’m not being funny, but as a woman Christian woman in today’s society, I am expected to be anything but human. My posture, tone, deeds, feelings, and appereance are suppose to be divine. In many ways this is impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I am becoming like Christ daily, but the pressure that I feel from the expectations, both inner and outwardly, make being a person impossible.
Yes that sounds crazy, but over the past year I have felt and dealt with some real emotions. I was afraid to express them. Even more than that, I was afraid to feel them. I stopped blogging because I wasn’t sure how to speak, let alone blog about my feelings.
I have decided that I am going to do something for myself. I am going to allow myself to feel. I am going to allow myself to live. I am going to allow myself to live honsetly. I will express my emotions in the best constructive way that I know how.
I am going to trust that I am as God sees me. I am enough, even when I feel weird.
I’m not going to try to be more than I am or omit what I am for the sake of thinking that it will make me more. I will be me…
That’s the honest truth.
Perhaps like Robin Far discusses in her post Finding Your Why, my word for this year should be honest.