control Archives - Being Mrs. Mom™

When you look around at the world that we live in, we see that there are a lot of things that you and I could be busy doing. We want our homes, relationships, and careers to be full and satisfying, but there is something that I want to ask you. Who is building your house?

Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who builds it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

Before you and I ever set foot on this earth, God had a plan for our lives. He determined the year that we would be born and the year that our children would be born. He decided who we would marry and the people we would be in relationship with. He determined what our hands would be busy doing and the work that we would accomplish. Still, He has given us the ability to walk in His will and purpose for Him, or not.

If you are like me, then you want for your home, relationships, and career to be blessed, but how did you answer the question above? Who is building your house?

Inviting God Into Your Life

You can want all of the things that you want, but God is the builder who has the plan of how your life should be established in order for it to work in a magnificent way. Have you invited Him into every area of you life, or are there specific areas that He isn’t allowed to enter into?

For some people the answer is yes, but for others, God is not welcome because control has not been given over to Him. Which category do you fall in?

Is He welcome in your personal life?

Do you allow God to examine your thoughts and emotions? Have you invited Him into the spaces of your mind that occupy you on a daily basis? Do you share, with Him, your concerns and fears and allow Him to tell you how to overcome them? Do you invite him into your choices? Before you take a drink, get a tattoo, purchase a car, or even watch a movie; do you allow Him to be in the process of your decisions?

Yes, He sees all that you do and think, but He is not going to over power you, so that you can be free. He already sent Jesus to die on the cross for your mental and emotional freedom. Have you accepted it? Are you willing to turn away from the things that invite sickness, disease, and depression into your life? Have you told your flesh “no” and the Lord “yes?”

Has the Lord been invited into your marriage?

Did God get an invitation to your wedding? After the wedding, was He allowed to stay and dwell there? Or is your marriage a place where God is not welcome to interfere? One way to tell this is if you find that you only talk to God about what your husband does, but you don’t listen to the Lord tell you what you have done and how to fix it. Your ability to trust God in your marriage is a direct indicator of whether or not you have invited Him into it.

If you want your marriage to work, it has to be built on a solid foundation and the Lord has to be the One that is giving out the orders.

What about motherhood? Have you given God permission to help you be a mother?

Frustration can set in, when a mother doesn’t have patience or is trying in her own strength to mother her children. The reason why is that a mother is not the creator of her children. Although she birthed them, she did not design them, so there are aspects of her children that she must learn to navigate and direct. However, while you are learning to help and assist your children in life, have you sought God about what is best for them?

Have you told God that you want to be the type of mother that He designed you to be or are you just being the type of mother that you want to be? You have to make a decision and it’s an important one. You have to decide to be an instrument and vessel of God in the lives of your children. They were given to you as a blessing, but you have to be willing to be a good stewart over what God has given you.

Is it too much for you to ask God to give you patience and direction, so that you can be a mother that builds her children up and gives them wisdom?

Don’t forget about your career.

In the world, you and I are told that we can be whatever we want to be. What we don’t normally hear is that we can and should be in the place and position that God has called us to. We aren’t built up to be the type of women that God has designed us to be.

Because of this lack of encouragement, it’s not hard to take the wheel of the career field and steer it in the direction of our liking. Have you surrendered your dream to God, so that He could tell you which ones He cosigned on? Have you stopped long enough to hear Him direct you? Do you have too much noise playing in the background, so that you cannot hear Him? You have to be intentional about not avoiding what is important.

Let the Lord build your house

God’s will and purpose for you is important. You and I should want Him to be involved in our lives, in every way possible. This cannot happen without an invitation.

If you believe in Jesus, then you have already believed him for your salvation, but did you make him your Lord? Are you giving him first place and rulership over every area of who you are and what you do?

You don’t want to be the person that is doing things without asking God to be with you. You don’t want to find yourself in a place where you are struggling because you got into something that God did not call you to get into. Now all things work together for our good, but you still have to go through, if you are disobedient.

Allow the Lord to establish the framework for the buildings in your life, so that as you build, your labor will not be in vain.

As a woman that loves to plan, I often try to keep things orderly and functioning well. I like my planner, my pen, and my paper. And although I haven’t always been this way, I do my best to plan everything out. That plan is subject to change because I am married with four children, and really, because I am a human being, living in this world. Yet, still there are times where I am thrown completely off because of my desire for predictability and order.

If I can be honest with you, this has to do with my desire to control situations, so that things aren’t thrown off-balance and I’m not flung into a situation that I didn’t expect or feel that I can’t handle. Again, I haven’t always been this way, but in trying to be a woman of wisdom, I have desired to think through situations and plan how I am going to handle them. My plan would be perfect if I set in some high authoritative place, like God, but I’m not Him. I am merely a woman, clothed in flesh and living my life the best way that I can.

I have always had big dreams and this year, I took the plunge in to two of them.

Writing a book
Starting a business

Coupled together with life, I have found myself in a place of frustration because, well, we don’t live in a box. Although I set deadlines, things happen. For instance, I hurt my back and could not do all of the things that I wanted to do physically, so I had to rely on my family. They were very helpful and I am blessed to have them. Needless to say, my schedule was thrown off. I attempted to pull and push my way out of my physical limitations and, as it should be assumed, it took a toll on me emotionally.

I planned and structured events and business deals, but all parties just did not have the same schedule as I had. If I were to put it in the simplest way possible, my desire for perfection, was only that, a desire. Perfection was not going to, nor is it ever going to happen.

Ok.

Let me stop here for a second. I think you and I need to allow this statement to just sink in.

Perfection is never going to happen.

Our desire for perfection and control, literally sends our spirit out into a realm of frenzy because we were never meant to be perfect or in control of everything. We were placed in this world with the Spirit of the Living God to lead us and guide us throughout our lives. He is here to help us maneuver through the situations, ins and outs of life. No matter how much we try to take the steering wheel, its not our place to be in total control.

Think on this.

When life is busy and we want to be…., we have a tendency to try to attempt to take the reins from God. We attempt to control life. We don’t do it purposely, but when we do this, hurry up and go “thing,” we are trying to take our lives out of the hands of God. He’s the one who makes this whole world function and yet, somewhere in our minds, we believe that we can do it better. No matter how sincere or humble we are, we have all done it at one point and time in our lives. Believe it or not, we do it again and again. Then we wonder why we are stressed.

We wonder why things don’t seem to be going right.

Where did the problems come from?

Taking our lives out of the hands of God, not following His will, trying life our own way…that’s where the frustration comes in. And no matter how giant or small of a moment it has been that we have found ourselves in this place, we have to come back.

We have to ask Him to forgive us. We have to push forward in His will, listening to His Spirit, and seeking His face. That’s it!

When we do this, with a sincere heart, laying it all before Him, He takes the reigns and fixes our lives, orders our steps, and makes life beautiful again.

That’s what the KING of the world does. He rules and reigns. He orders and fixes our hearts and our lives.

In short…maybe not so short…

Our desires send us out of whack. The world is only doing what it does normally. It is functioning chaotically and we are striving for it to have some sort of order. Yet, in this process we forget that we are not all-powerful. Perfectionism is not really an accurate picture of any human being on this earth. It is simply and ideal. And we all love ideals.

Control is not really all that we perceive it to be. It is simply that a perception. We aren’t in control.

Yep! I said it…

We aren’t in control.

Whether reactive or proactive, we are not in control. It isn’t until we step into the will of God. Taking our rightful place in His plan, using the power that has been given to us by God, through Christ, in pray and in faithful deed, that we are in control…with Him.

Faithful deed…

Not fearful actions. We have to be living and walking in faith when we proclaim that this and that will be, expecting that it will be.

Now…let’s do this.

Let’s check ourselves with the word of God and see where we stand. Let this be our continual endeavor…to be in right standing with God.

Please take a moment to read Psalm 19 below and the watch the video at the end of this post.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.

In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun,
Which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
And rejoices like a strong man to run its race.
Its rising is from one end of heaven,
And its circuit to the other end;
And there is nothing hidden from its heat.

The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;
The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;
The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
Moreover by them Your servant is warned,
And in keeping them there is great reward.

Who can understand his errors?
Cleanse me from secret faults.
Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
Let them not have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
And I shall be innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

I pray that you have been blessed by this and I look forward to hearing any thoughts that you have on control. Has this spoken to you at all? Do you find yourself in this place, ever? How do you handle it? Do you handle it at all?

Be blessed. 🙂

Who is Building Your House?