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Mom-Works, Mom-Student, or SAHM

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From the beginning as a mom we are faced with choices that we never had to seriously stare in the face. One of those choices is to work/go to school, or to stay home.

There are some that will tell us that the best thing to do is to stay home and there are others that will be adamant about us going to work. The truth of the matter is…

when it all balls down too it, it’s our choice as the mom

We as mothers have to decide what’s best for our families and for ourselves. I have had my moments when I’ve felt that it was best for me to stay home and others when I felt that it was best for men to go to school. Each of the times, besides this last one, I felt extreme pressure from the people around me to move I one way or another. These pressures at times, debilitated me. I became unable to perform in any capacity.

Laundry would not be done, food would not be cooked and other areas of my life would be lacking. Ive had to make my own decision. With noses flared and disappointed tones, my loved ones would tell me that I should go back to school, but I knew what the result would be. So I waited

Now that I am back in school, I’ve determined that my schooling will not suck the life out of me so that I cannot take care of my family.

If you want to know my opinion. What would I tell a mom that was facing this daunting dilemma? I’d tell her to be realistic about your desires and you abilities. Don’t overwhelm yourself or allow others to dictate what you should do. The fact is that some will look up to you and some will look down at you. Others will stare you straight in the face as I am and encourage you to be the best mom and woman that you can be whether you work or stay home. No matter what give it, mothering, all that you’ve got.

I Don’t Agree…

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About a year ago, when I first began my blog, I found some other blogs that I though I may find interesting.  I never fully began reading the post on each blog, but I did have a few of the sent to my email.  I would normally skim the contents of the posts that were in the RSS and determine whether or not I wanted to read them and then filter them out that way.  I thought that I had picked blogs that I felt stood in the same place that I did as far a relationship with God, motherhood, marital standing, and other important issues.  However, today to my surprise, I realized that I didn’t do that with one of the sites that I am subscribed to and that I commented on today.

It was a pretty weird situation for me once I realized the mistake that I had made and I wondered how I had overlooked it before.  I first noticed it when I went to add this person of twitter.  I realized that there was something very strange about the name that she had chosen.  I figured that perhaps I was just reading too much into the subject, but then after hours of looking at other blogs, I visited the site again.  What I found saddened me because I look forward to making new connections.  I was sad because like me, she likes crafting, she is a natural haired African-American woman.  She blogged frequently.  It wasn’t until I saw all of the “pride” photos, that I realized that the thing that separated us was our thoughts and beliefs on the will of God for our lives as women in relationships towards men.  This could be thought of as a superficial issue, but it isn’t.  This means that we think very different about a lot of things.  We would not be able to walk together as women, nor to agree on many things because we are standing in two very different places.

Instead of exposing her, I am choosing to pray…I pray that God would bring her to a place of knowing Him and his love for her.  I pray that she would one day realize how she has been deceived and be willing to turn her heart back to the Father who loves her dearly.  I pray that she would make choices in her life that would result in life changing events that would propel her towards the heart of God.  I pray that she would know that I don’t hate her, but instead I love her as a child of God and this is the reason why I cannot support her blog.  Most of all, I pray that she would turn from her ways and come to know Jesus in such a way that she would begin to help others like herself come to know Him as well.

Although I don’t agree with her, I choose to believe that God will rapture her back to Himself.

16 and Pregnant

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I was flipping through the channels when I saw down in the information bar “16 and pregnant.”  As I laid down the remote, I heard the sound of an angry teen mom.  She said that she couldn’t believe that Josh had thrown her out of the car.  The camera quickly showed a young man, Josh, and their two new-born babies in the car driving away from the new mom.  She stood on the side of the road with an incision from the c-section and called her mother.  Once the father finally returned to the scene, he attempted to stop the mother from getting into the car, by picking her up.  She screamed and hit him, reminding him that she had a “cut” and he was being too rough with her.  In frustration, she called the cops. Finally, her mother and the cops arrived.  She put her children in the car and they drove off.  The father was arrested and spent a night in jail.  The mother talked to her mother and expressed to her that their engagement was off and she didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.

This saddened me.  Here was a young girl who didn’t know the first thing about being a mom that was now making a choice to raise two children by herself.  I think she made this choice, not because she wanted to, but because she thought she had too.

I sat there on my couch and thought of the many mothers that are well past 16 and struggle to raise their children whether it be with a spouse or on their own.  I thought of the times that I sat up with a headache and cried as prayed and asked for the strength that I needed to get through to the next day.  I could not imagine being 16 and having to deal with all of this.  My children are 2, 4, and 8.  This young lady’s children were newborn twins.  I pray that the Lord gives her the strength to be a good mother to those children.  I pray that she makes good choices from here on out.  I’m sure that it won’t be easy, because it isn’t easy for any of us, but I hope that she soon finds out that with dedication, focus, and help from God…anything is possible.

I’m not sure how the many of other viewers who normally watch this show take the different scenarios that are presented, but I hope that the young people learn from the experiences of others.  One of the craziest things that anyone could ever do is choose to ignore the testimony and mistakes of others instead of learn from them.  I could have been that young girl.  You, reading this, probably could have been her too.

I thank God that I didn’t have to go through that and that my husband is in this relationship with me.  I thank God that he chooses to parent with me.  It is not easy…but this is our life.

To the reader:  if you are reading this, I ask you to look at your own life and count your blessings.  Cherish the moments that you have.  Learn from the experiences of others.  Last but not least…remember that all things are possible to those who believe.