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Mom-Me Speaks

Mom-Works, Mom-Student, or SAHM

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From the beginning as a mom we are faced with choices that we never had to seriously stare in the face. One of those choices is to work/go to school, or to stay home.

There are some that will tell us that the best thing to do is to stay home and there are others that will be adamant about us going to work. The truth of the matter is…

when it all balls down too it, it’s our choice as the mom

We as mothers have to decide what’s best for our families and for ourselves. I have had my moments when I’ve felt that it was best for me to stay home and others when I felt that it was best for men to go to school. Each of the times, besides this last one, I felt extreme pressure from the people around me to move I one way or another. These pressures at times, debilitated me. I became unable to perform in any capacity.

Laundry would not be done, food would not be cooked and other areas of my life would be lacking. Ive had to make my own decision. With noses flared and disappointed tones, my loved ones would tell me that I should go back to school, but I knew what the result would be. So I waited

Now that I am back in school, I’ve determined that my schooling will not suck the life out of me so that I cannot take care of my family.

If you want to know my opinion. What would I tell a mom that was facing this daunting dilemma? I’d tell her to be realistic about your desires and you abilities. Don’t overwhelm yourself or allow others to dictate what you should do. The fact is that some will look up to you and some will look down at you. Others will stare you straight in the face as I am and encourage you to be the best mom and woman that you can be whether you work or stay home. No matter what give it, mothering, all that you’ve got.

I Don’t Agree…

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About a year ago, when I first began my blog, I found some other blogs that I though I may find interesting.  I never fully began reading the post on each blog, but I did have a few of the sent to my email.  I would normally skim the contents of the posts that were in the RSS and determine whether or not I wanted to read them and then filter them out that way.  I thought that I had picked blogs that I felt stood in the same place that I did as far a relationship with God, motherhood, marital standing, and other important issues.  However, today to my surprise, I realized that I didn’t do that with one of the sites that I am subscribed to and that I commented on today.

It was a pretty weird situation for me once I realized the mistake that I had made and I wondered how I had overlooked it before.  I first noticed it when I went to add this person of twitter.  I realized that there was something very strange about the name that she had chosen.  I figured that perhaps I was just reading too much into the subject, but then after hours of looking at other blogs, I visited the site again.  What I found saddened me because I look forward to making new connections.  I was sad because like me, she likes crafting, she is a natural haired African-American woman.  She blogged frequently.  It wasn’t until I saw all of the “pride” photos, that I realized that the thing that separated us was our thoughts and beliefs on the will of God for our lives as women in relationships towards men.  This could be thought of as a superficial issue, but it isn’t.  This means that we think very different about a lot of things.  We would not be able to walk together as women, nor to agree on many things because we are standing in two very different places.

Instead of exposing her, I am choosing to pray…I pray that God would bring her to a place of knowing Him and his love for her.  I pray that she would one day realize how she has been deceived and be willing to turn her heart back to the Father who loves her dearly.  I pray that she would make choices in her life that would result in life changing events that would propel her towards the heart of God.  I pray that she would know that I don’t hate her, but instead I love her as a child of God and this is the reason why I cannot support her blog.  Most of all, I pray that she would turn from her ways and come to know Jesus in such a way that she would begin to help others like herself come to know Him as well.

Although I don’t agree with her, I choose to believe that God will rapture her back to Himself.

Remaining Calm

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Sometimes throughout the course of life, things happen and stress can come knocking at your door at any moment.  Throughout the process of transitioning sometimes and dealing with people, things don’t always go as planned.  Since I have moved to a new state, I have had to get used to the way that things are done around here.  For instance, in North Carolina a child would have to be checked in to school by a parent.  In Utah, well the school that my son attended that is,  a child could check him or herself into school without an adult.  There are other things that are not as structured that I have a problem with because I’m not used to them.  Well, truthfully, it’ s not just because I haven’t gotten used to they yet  It’s also because I understand that the reason for some of the policies that were in place in North Carolina, were for the safety and protection of the students.  Things are a lot different out here.

Today I had a little trouble grasping the policies that are in place at my son’s school.  I listened as that administrative assistant attempted to explain the procedure to me.  It seemed the more she said, the less satisfied I was with the answer.  The more she explained, the more I wanted to know how much the administration had fully thought through the policy.  The rules and regulations of the policy didn’t affect the parents, facility, or administration.  Instead they greatly affected the students.  It seemed like another child would be left behind.  I really contemplated taking the issue to the principal for further understanding and discussion, but then I realized that it probably wouldn’t have done any good because I was upset.  This isn’t normally  what I’d do.  I would normally take the situation further and do what needed to be done in order to work out the situation, but I decided not to do that this time.

Sometimes, it’s hard to just let things go.  When upset about a thing it is often easier to talk or think about it and then try to remedy the situation.  This time it took a lot for me to just let the situation work itself out on its own.  I decided to stay calm, rational, and ultimately…unresponsive.  You may not understand the point in reacting this way, but this was just not worth it.  If you knew the situation, you’d understand why, but more discussion of it isn’t even worth it right now.  I guess I just needed to write it out.  I had to get this off of my chest and this was how I decided to do it.  So, what’s next???

Now we just remain calm and move forward.

A Bit Satisfied

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Over the past couple of weeks, I have been very busy. Cleaning, cooking, taking care of my children, being a loving wife, and going to college have been my daily chores. Now when I say that, I don’t mean that I had to do each one of these things one day at a time. Instead, I’m saying that I had to do all of them in the same day. Many times it felt like I had to do them all at one time. Now, please know that I am not complaining. I am so blessed to be able to be a stay at home mother. I get to assist my husband in ways that I wouldn’t be able to if I were working right now. Not only that, but I get to be available whenever my children need me.

Now when I’m stressed, it doesn’t seem this way. It feels more like a trap and I’m stuck with so many responsibilities that I can’t breathe. Thank God for reality. Really!!! I’m not trapped, I’m extremely blessed.

Well, being a student has been really hard. There are times when I don’t want to do any work at all. I just want to sit and do life as usual. I have wondered how I would have time to read the books that are required of me and make sure that my family eats dinner. Honestly, I have not had to make sure that anything got done besides my school work. Once I stopped trying to do everything in my own strength, God empowered me, and everything moved smoothly.

For a while, I had fallen behind in my school work. I wasn’t sure how I was going to catch up, but my husband just told me to give it all that I had. He said that I should email my professors and submit the work. I am so thankful that I listened to that wise man of mine. I ended up getting really good grades in my classes. That is the story for last semester.

This semester was the same story, but with a little twist. Instead of being in two or three classes, I was in five. Yes, five. I didn’t think that my school would allow me to take that many at one time, but it happened. I scheduled my classes wrong and they overlapped. Honestly, I was extremely overwhelmed. The good news is that no matter how overwhelmed I was, God still took care of me and my family. Again I had to learn not to do things in my own strength, but to be honest with the Lord about that fact that I didn’t feel like I could do it, but that I was going to put my hand to the plow. I trusted that He would make it happen. Guess what?! He did.

Yesterday, I finished up two of my three classes. One of my good friends texted me with an encouraging note that she was praying for me to get my work submitted on time. It really helped me and I did. I got my work submitted by the deadline. It was like a breath of fresh air. On the way to this point, I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. No, everyone did not always eat at our scheduled dinner time and laundry wasn’t always folded and put away, but my husband still encouraged me to give it my all. As I did, he helped by washing laundry, dishes, and taking care of our children. I must say it again. Thank God for my wonderful husband!!!

That’s right! Now that I have completed that work, I am a bit satisfied. I am satisfied with my life, position, calling, duties, gifts, friends, family, and all the other blessings that I have. I guess it just took a little work for me to see things from the proper perspective. Well, not only work, but trust as well. I had to trust that God would give me all that I needed to get to where I needed to go.

I do have more work to do. The laundry continues, of course. Dinner needs to be cooked. Life does go on, but I’m perfectly fine with that.

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